Monday, August 29, 2011

Honored to be included in this one.


Available in early 2012!

ZIPPERED FLESH: Tales of Body Enhancements Gone Bad!

In this anthology of dark stories, bizarre body enhancements play pivotal roles in the plotsand things are never pretty or pain-free. The 20 stories in this collection are not for those who are faint of heart or squeamish, or who are easily offended by disturbing imagery, bloody violence, and freakish body augmentations. Love chilling tales? You'll savor this anthology!

Current stories in the anthology include:

Graham Masterton Sex Object

Scott Nicholson The Shaping

John Shirley Equilibrium

Lisa Mannetti Paraphilia

Michael Bailey Bootstrap—The Binds of Lasolastica

Michael Laimo Idol

Adrienne Jones Unplugged

Charles Colyott Comfort

Christopher Nadeau You With Me

J. Gregory Smith Something Borrowed

Weldon Burge Hearing Mildred

And more to come ... keep checking back here for the latest additions!

Writers: For guidelines and submissions, go to smartrhino.com/submissions.


Friday, August 26, 2011

An Eloquently Written Rejection Letter Filled With Praise,

So why does it leave me cold? Anyway, here it is:

Subject: Re: Memory Eater Story Submission

Mr. Nadeau,
I'd like to personally thank you for submitting to The Memory Eater. I'm honored that you took the time to create a piece for the anthology, but unfortunately I've decided to pass on it.
The voice of the narrator is well done and fits the eerie setting perfectly. The suspense carried me along, and your writing is exceptional, but the ending seemed to drop off. I was left with more questions than answers. Your story stood out at first, but it hasn't stayed with me like I hoped it would. Regardless, your submission was in a tough field filled with many competitors, so I hope you remain positive about making it further than the majority.
I hope you will consider submitting to any future anthologies.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Here We Go Agan!

Apparently, while my submission frenzy paid off in the form of well over a dozen short story acceptances this year, it also had the unfortunate side-effect of having created a few instances where rejection letters arrived months after someone else had already accepted them. In this case, I'm talking about a story that was accepted by Ghostlight Magazine about two months ago, and one I don't remember sending to the editor whose emails and my replies can be read below:

Hi there!,

Thank you so much for your patience with our submission process. I sincerely apologize for the wait.

I'd like to thank you for your submission to (name omitted). Unfortunately it was NOT selected for publication at this time.

In some cases you are receiving this email because your work was accepted elsewhere. I sincerely congratulate you if that was the case.

We have very limited space at (name omitted)and we truly wish we could publish and pay for more stories than I currently accept but it's just not an option. Please do not consider this a "rejection" of your work, but more of a "we'll have to pass for now".

In most cases, we try to offer a personalized response to submissions. If you have not received one, then please accept our sincere apologies for the impersonal nature of this note.

We will be opening up to new submissions for a special themed issue shortly. Please feel free to resubmit to the appropriate editor at that time.

Thank you for entrusting your creative work with (name omitted). We hope to hear from you again in the near future.


Wow. I'm a little stunned. Not only do I not recall having ever sent this story to the (name omitted), but it was accepted by another magazine months ago! I have no record of this submission.

CN


Chris,

How else would I have this in my inbox? :). Congrats on the acceptance.

Point taken LOL thanks!

I'm so glad I've slowed down on the submitting thing.



Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Lapeer Days, an Overview

This past weekend, I joined my publisher and fellow COM Publishing writers at “Lapeer Days,” a rather large festival located smack dab in the middle of Lapeer, Michigan featuring vendors, a carnival, and way more country music than I’m comfortable enduring.

One of our number, a soon-to-be published writer of erotic fantasy, felt this would be a wonderful venue for us as a Michigan-based company hawking its wares and looking to increase readership. And how could sharing a venue with “Wowie the Clown” and “Wyatt the Magic Wonder” fail? I'll bet you're thinking it did.

Well, it didn’t. COM did okay, perhaps better than should have been expected. That might sound elitist, but hear me out by…reading…what I…just read the next part!

Friday, the first day of the festival, the COM booth received some attention. I arrived in the evening and was immediately struck by the expressions of flat-out intimidation on the faces of passers-by. Not everyone, of course, but far more than I could count using all available digits. One would have thought we were selling secrets to our enemies.

Lapeer is a blue collar town with a Southern vibe that is so strikingly different from what I’m used to in Southeastern Michigan (i.e. the Detroit Area) I felt as if I’d traveled to a different state. Still, blue collar does not automatically mean non-readers, at least not where I come from. But I’m not so sure about Lapeer, especially after a visit from the guy who brought his little girl with him to check out what we were selling.

“I’m thirty-six years old and I’ve never read a book in my life,” he said while holding a copy of P.S. Ramsey’s Legerdemain. “And I’m all right!”

And that was when it hit me: This wasn’t simply a case of being amongst non-readers, oh no! Not reading was a source of pride, as evidenced by how many people commented on how they see the movies made from books but, as the thirty-six year old said, actually reading more than a few pages results in boredom and restlessness.

I know why this is because in the past I tutored someone with the same problem; it all boils down to the way reading is perceived by the person when they are young. Those who are raised by non-readers tend to view reading as something that is done for information-gathering or out of obligation. Pleasure is not in the equation. So, when the man who so pridefully announced his non-reading status started telling us how difficult it was for him and his wife to get one of their daughters to read, it made perfect sense to me.

Bob Meier’s Chicken Wing for the Beer Drinker’s Soul and P.S. Ramsey’s Legerdemain were the stand-outs for this festival. My book was deemed by one person as “too intellectual” for the crowd and Nora Cook Smith’s A Not So Perfect Christmas was most likely not timely enough for the average American attention span. Had the festival taken place in October, she might have been the biggest seller.

As my publisher Christine Mizikow will tell you, the real benefits of these events come from unexpected sources, and this one was no exception. The owner of a local bookstore was so impressed with our product, she arranged to have each COM author appear at her store for signings beginning in October. In addition, the Genesee County Literacy Foundation wants is to come out for readings and signings well.

Hopefully, the thirty-six year old will be there so he can realize how pitiful what he said sounded and learn to enjoy reading, too.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

True Confession Time.

When I was in Orlando, Florida a few years ago doing the Disney World pilgrimage thing, I became really interested, okay, obsessed, with a certain commercial that aired on local TV. In fact, if memory serves, it was a paid commercial so the whole thing ran for thirty minutes at time. It was hypnotically awful, the kind of thing you would have seen in my home-state in the early Eighties which apparently is still very much in vogue in the South.

How do I know this?

Simple: It' s still airing six years later!!!

I don't know why, but I can't help watching it. I'm sure you won't react the same way as me, but click here to view the awful greatness of it all!

(I have no idea why he's wearing an eye-patch now)

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I Don't Normally Pass Along Chain Emails, But...

...This one was to creative to be ignored!

Subject: Manitoba Herald on our recent election

Date: Saturday, November 6, 2010, 2:46 PM

From The Manitoba Herald by Clive Runnels

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified this week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The results of the recent election is prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn't give any milk.

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves." A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age" an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them." an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"


Quote O' The Day

H P Roychoudhury profile image

H P Roychoudhury

Modern people think that the Earth becomes too small now to visualize because of the advancement in the communication technology. But in the sphere of knowledge, it might be said that it is too little to compare to the vastness of unknown mystery.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Contest!

The first person to name the source of these lyrics wins a PDF version of the Kindle story of their choice:



Just what is the future?
The things we've done and said.
Let's just push the button. We'd be better off dead!
And I hate you! and I berate you ! and I can't wait to get to you...
The sins of all the fathers, being dumped on us - the sons
The only choice we're given is: How many megatons?
So I eschew you! And I say "SCREW YOU"!
And I hope you're blue too! We're all bloody worthless,
Just greedy human scum, The numbers all add up to a negative sum...
And I hate you! And I hate you! And I hate you...too!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Sound of Crickets.

If the sound of crickets doesn't soothe you like it does me, you're probably reading the wrong blog right now. Not much has been happening this week in regards to my adventures in the world of getting stuff published. Instead, I've been concentrating on finishing a ghost rewrite of someone's erotica/fantasy novel and seeing to the release of the anthology I'd been compiling since May of this year, which received an eviscerating Amazon review, by the way.

It's been rather hectic. The ghost rewrite needed to be completed post haste. It was a rather stressful experience, one that over-shadowed anything else I might have been writing at the time. Without going too far into it, the book was a mess with a gem at its center and it was my job to do as much as I could in a short time to bring the gem to the surface. I like to think I succeeded, but I gits paid either way!

The anthology, on the other hand, my brainchild, finally saw the light of artificially simulated day this past weekend. Contributors were so eager to see it go live, they told me before I even knew about it!

In the midst of all that, my cover artist for the aforementioned anthology drafted me into another one of True Ghost Stories. Expect that one sometime in October if all goes well, with proceeds going to the Make A Wish Foundation.

So, not an exciting week, for the two of you still reading this post. Frankly, during my submission/acceptance frenzy, I kind of ran out of stories to send off. And since I met and surpassed my goal in months ahead of schedule, perhaps it's time to get back to my unfinished novels. Besides, there's another ghost rewrite looming on the horizon.

For now, the sound of crickets is a welcome one~



Quote O' The Day

"I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it."

-Jonathan Winters

Monday, August 8, 2011

Quote O' The Day

"That which does not piss me off only depresses me."
-Kit Reed

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Newly Released Kindle Stories

Sometimes Kindle is the better option. In this case, I'm convinced that is so. The two stories in this collection are more for readers than they are for editors, so I present them for a bargain-priced 99 cents.

Simply click here.