On Being Told What to Write

 

So, here we are again entering the horrifying world of Prior Review and Content Control. I swear this topic comes up every so often as a matter of course these days, and nowhere is it more prevalent outside of politics than in the world of genre fandom. This particular incident was pretty extreme, reminding me of a certain Batman movie's devoted, fanatical base about twelve years ago whose ire and outrage resulted in several attacks when I posted a link to my review on the now defunct Yahoo! Message Boards.

This time was different, however. Not only did it take place on Facebook, but it also resulted in a volley of personal and professional attacks. The fanboy Battalion has mutated since those days of simply telling a person they were wrong and sending threatening emails to professional film critics for not liking a movie they adored. 

I wouldn't have even known about this if not for the fact that a Facebook friend had posted her views on James Gunn's "The Suicide Squad" by referring to it as basically a stupid failure. I concurred, posting my blog post/review to show her just how much. You can read that here. I saw a dissenting comment from a guy whose name shall remain undisclosed (I'll refer to him as "Soy" based on a comment another friend made) which I read and immediately forgot all about. However, at some point between me not being online for a while and finally going back on, my Facebook friend had unfriended and blocked this individual for comments she found obnoxious.

Like any juicy scandal-loving 'Murican, I decided to look him up. To my delight, I found that he had reposted the above review and written a disdainful commentary about it. This was so his like-minded, sycophantic followers could start making insulting comments about the review itself, the writing of it, and the various word choices they deemed pretentious. The post was public, so it was easy for me to jump in, first by thanking Soy for the repost and then responding to some of the comments about the review. I found it interesting how Soy kept trying to make it seem as if me seeing negative comments about something I wrote was some sort of turnabout is fair play situation instead of an expected part of being a writer...Almost as if he was some uber-nerd twit who didn't know what the hell he was talking about.

This suspicion was compounded by the fact that he seemed hellbent on telling me what I should have written, and how I should have written it. The review, in his opinion, lacked "nuance," a word he seemed to have just learned sometime this week and couldn't  wait to use over and over until he sounded like a special needs parrot. I began to wonder: What exactly had him so upset and offended? My dislike of the material, the way I presented it, or the fact that I didn't gently take him by the hand and explain every sentence and word choice so he didn't soil his diaper? I suspect it was all three.

In the midst of Soy's kiss-ass geek patrol calling my writing terrible and saying how much it sucked, he kept telling me how I should have written my review. Oh, and he used the word "nuance."

A lot.

I've dealt with guys like this before. They represent both cheeks on the political butt. Extreme righties tend to indulge the behavior more often, but extreme lefties do it, too. The tactic is to lure the person onto their page, insult them and then let their friends attack them from all angles while appearing to be the reasonable one "just trying to make a point." It is a tactic employed by both bully and bullied alike. It hasn't ever worked on me when dealing with people who were much better at it, and it sure as shit didn't work on me this time.

The intellectual lightweights on Soy's page were barely a distraction, but they definitely brought the entertainment value. Yet despite the constant back-and-forth with such gems as "I want to kill your high school English teacher 'cause you suck" and other award-winning zingers of the highest level, Soy was still telling me what and how to write.

Deciding I'd had enough fun with the dingleberries, I focused instead on the post's originator and his repeated insistence that my post lacked...sigh...NUANCE. 

At this point, I'd already had a relatively decent back-and-forth with the one person not necessarily following Soy's orders who had expressed an interest in knowing what my opinion of the movie might be now that the initial hostility had faded. And to be fair, I did give Soy one point: The review was not a *GROAN* nuanced take on the film. It wasn't intended to be; it was written as an extension of my Facebook live posting. Soy even admitted my views on the handling of Viola Davis' character were pretty accurate.

The conversation could have, and probably should have, ended there. We had found a point on which we agreed and did not agree on the rest because Soy had issues with the way it was presented. Fair enough. I've stopped reading many a novel for similar reasons. The difference is, I didn't contact the author and tell them how they should have written the novel. I moved on. It's what grownups do. Soy, on the other hand, chose this as a hill to die on, a cause he could not relinquish. He was, in essence, the fanboy cliché nobody can stand; a know-it-all expert on all things with no foundation in any of them who thinks he has the right to police content. 

I owe no one who isn't paying me for my work anything. The mere fact that he was ignorant of the difference between a journal-like blog post and a professional film review shows that he proceeded from a false assumption. I certainly don't feel obligated to some random shit-starter on social networking to accommodate him with my writing, nor am I fazed by a bunch of followers of this person to feel that I need to alter my writing style. Awards, positive reviews and over thirty published stories speak for themselves. Besides, anyone who gets that angry over someone's opinions about a silly movie has more emotional issues than I am qualified to deal with.

I will thank Soy and his too-cool friends for the blog post material. It's difficult to not write about someone who accuses me of getting upset about a post when the post I am responding to is literally the result of the person getting upset about a post, throwing a tantrum, and trying to gain validation. Pointing out a person's lack of self-awareness doesn't usually go well, and I wound up blocked for my efforts. 

However, in the interest of helping people get past their soft, squishy ego problems, may I submit for their use...

Oh, I almost forgot:

NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE
NUANCE

Review: "The Suicide Squad"

I've never been completely in support of Auteur Theory, but James Gunn's soft reboot/sequel "The Suicide Squad" might be the best argument against it in years. And while that particular attitude towards film has its positive outcomes in the works of Stanley Kubrik, Quentin Tarantino and Bernardo Bertolucci, Gunn ain't none of those guys.

What he is, however, is a gifted mimic who has fooled a lot of people into thinking he has a personal style. If you've seen his 2010 small budgeted takedown of the superhero genre "Super," you know what I mean. It's a good movie but it apes other directors' styles to the point of absurdity. 

People also forget that the first "Guardians of the Galaxy" movie was originally written by Nicole Perlman. Short memories aside, she was the one being praised for the screenplay when that film was released. Flash forward less than a decade and all anyone remembers is James Gunn. 

I was not among those praising Perlman's screenplay. I thought it was mediocre, dull and filled with terrible attempts at humor. Although, I wonder how much of the latter came from Gunn's work on the script. That brings us to "The Suicide Squad," a God-awful, unfunny, needlessly gory, thinly plotted pile of steaming crud from the "mind" of a man whose hackery really upsets me when I think about how he shares a name with one of my writing mentors.

The previous "Suicide Squad" film fell victim to what all DC Comics movies were dealing with in those not-so-long-ago days: Studio interference from imbeciles who had no concept of what they were doing. Thus director David Ayers, a far more gifted filmmaker than Gunn ("Training Day" alone cements that claim) saw his film sliced to ribbons. Despite this, it is still superior to Gunn's follow-up

With only four returning cast members from the first one, Gunn decides to populate his film with all the worst, stupidest DC villains in that company's history, because killing them off is funny to him. So, we get an entire opening sequence of disposable, useless idiots who die horribly so the so-called A-Team can emerge from the water to handle the mission. Who are they?

A big stupid bi-pedal shark played by a totally wasted Sylvester Stallone because Gunn can't seem to make an ensemble film without a bug dumb character that makes no sense. But this Shark is no Groot, who is at least a likable character with a soul. King Shark spends his time making idiotic comments like a slow-witted child, none of which are even remotely amusing. It's sad when the CW version of a character was vastly superior. 

Then there's Bloodsport portrayed by Idris Elba, who appears to have not gotten a good night's sleep in about eight years. He brings zero weight to this role, shuffling through like a zombie except when he's screaming "Fuck you!" over and over at his child.

Margot Robbie is back as Harley Quinn, the ubiquitous eye-candy psycho who really needs to be retired from comics for about a decade. Even she must feel this way based on her uninspired performance this time around. Her sub-plot involving a Central American dictator contains some of the worst writing and acting I have seen this side of "It: Chapter 2." 

There are newer characters as well, including John Cena as Peacemaker, a character Gunn single-handedly ruined by turning him into a joke. Cena has the comic timing of a clogged drain, and nowhere is this more evident than when he and Elba indulge in high wit by discussing eating a beach full of dicks.

This is seriously the kind of Middle School-level dumbshittery that Gunn thinks is comedy!

In addition to the three heavyhitters mentioned above, there's the character of Ratcatcher 2 portrayed by Daniella Melchior. She is, without a doubt, a terrible actor and in possession of one of the most annoying voices. Her line readings sound just like what they are: Someone without talent reading their lines. There is a scene on a bus involving her sob story and some unconvincing graphics that is, ironically, the best scene in the movie. Then I realized it was because it ripped off the bar scene in the first one!

But I saved the "best" for last" The disservice Gunn does the great actor Viola Davis and the character of Amanda Waller actually tows the line of casual racism. Gone is the cool, calculating Waller of the first film and the comics. In her place stands a stereotypical angry, hysterical black woman who doesn't seem to know what the hell she's doing and is easily manipulated by her staff and the Suicide Squad. This is the same woman who stared down Batman and told him to watch his ass?

What can I say about the supposed plot and story elements? Gunn clearly knows nothing about his missions work. He has no grasp of Third World politics. Shit, he doesn't even know the difference between a nightclub and a strip club! 

By the time the Big Reveal takes place, one any comics fan already saw coming in the first reel, all it does it serve as a reminder that this guy doesn't get DC and should stay as far away from it as possible.

Rating the 2017 Releases: (Updated)

The following is a list of films released in 2017 that I have actually seen. Some were seen theatrically, others using the magic of borrowed library DVDs:

Hidden Figures- This is one of those wonderfully acted and written Oscar-bound  based on a true story movies that the cynic in me wants to cast aspersions on. But that would do a disservice to a wonderful film filled with incredible performances. This was easily one of the better movies of this year and it came out during the first few weeks.

I am Not Your Negro- I learned more about James Baldwin than I ever knew before and I came away considering him a national treasure and an incredible human being. There isn’t a dull, plodding moment in this documentary.

John Wick: Chapter Two- Action movie sequels are an iffy proposition. Sometimes you get a quality production such as “Lethal Weapon 2” but usually you get a mediocre followup such as “Taken 2” which makes you reconsider the flawed original film in negative ways. Fortunately, that’s not the case with this one. The mythology surrounding the title character it rich, fascinating and compelling and this sequel throws the audience right back into it with delightful abandon.

The Lego Batman Movie- The trailers made this movie look unfunny and rather stupid. To my surprise, it was neither. Simply put, this was the funniest movie I’ve seen in a while. Featuring fully realized characters, an actual plot and a plethora of successful gags, this one actually outshines “The Lego Movie” with its brilliance.

The Great Wall- Reports of supposed whitewashing with this movie were greatly overblown. Matt Damon’s character was not the hero nor did he save the day in any way, shape or form. Instead, this was a very enjoyable period fantasy with solid acting, good direction and great action.

Logan- A contender for best movie I’ve seen all year, this was the Wolverine film fans of the comics and movies were waiting for. The changes that were made to the “Old Man Logan” story actually improved on the concept. Instead of a bunch of jarring inclusions of Marvel characters, the focus is kept narrowed to Logan and Professor Xavier. The acting is top notch as is the story. I have only been able to see it once so far because the emotions were too much.

Kong: Skull Island- I unapologetically LOVED this movie. I went in with modest expectations and wound up seeing it two more times. Talk about pitch perfect kaiju movie making. I’ve always been critical of Western attempts to make watchable movies about giant monsters; what the Japanese make look effortless generally failed in American hands. But King Kong is ours and even the Japanese didn’t do him justice with their attempts in the 1960s and 1970s. This was the film that should have started the shared universe rather than that pathetically morose “Godzilla” movie from 2014. Kong got everything right from tone to plot to characterization and action. It even made me re-watch Gareth Edwards’ version of Godzilla to catch the connections.

Beauty and the Beast- Anyone who knows me knows I consider Disney to be pure evil. If you don’t, you’re either blissfully unaware or not paying enough attention. So their live-action remakes of their own animated movies which are, in turn, adaptations of the work of others, seem rather self-serving, cynical and manipulative to me. And even though the Cinderella live-action turned out to relatively good, such was not the case with “Beauty and the Beast.” Based on one of the more annoying films of the so-called “Disney Renaissance Era,” this version seems hell-bent on replicating what made the first abomination marketable rather than following the Cinderella example of doing something different. Same stupid songs sung by worse singers and the ugliest CGI versions of the non-human characters conceivable made this so unpleasant and obnoxious I couldn’t even finish watching it.

Ghost in the Shell- Once more the reports of whitewashing were greatly exaggerated. The main protaganist isn't Asian. She was, but the artificial body she currently inhabits was not. The original anime and its even better sequel are two of my favorite films, so my expectations weren't exactly high for this Western live-action version. I was pleasantly surprised that what resulted was an enjoyable, thoughtful film with good performances and an intelligent script. It's nowhere near as good as the anime but it's still good.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2- I'm on record as not being too fond of the jokey, uneven tone of the first film in this series, so when I realized I was enjoying myself watching the second go-round, nobody was more surprised than I. In fact, I loved this movie. Everything I found fault with in the first movie was present in the sequel, but it was balanced well and integrated into the plot. Instead of another uneven mess with some appealing moments, this was a wonderful ride with more fully realized characters and a better story.

The Mummy- People were poised to hate this one before it was even released. Tom Cruise has become a popular target of late in spite of a consistent high quality output over the past decade or more. Then there are those who actually think the Stephen Sommers films were somehow definitive versions of the mummy story. So even though the movie was entertaining and a mostly decent start to a shared universe franchise that is now dead in the water, it barely survived at he box office.

Spider-Man: Homecoming- This one falls under the "Liked it, Wanted to Love it, didn't" category. It was a good effort by Marvel Studios, but considering how long it took them to reacquire the rights to their own character from Sony's recent butcherings, I was hoping for something more. The approach basically boils down to John Hughes movie meets the back-end of the Marvel Universe while a man-child learns a valuable life lesson. Lots of good acting and funny moments don't overshadow the lack of compelling action and adventure. Even the boat scene pales by comparison to the train sequence in "Spider-Man 2."

War for the Planet of the Apes- I left the theater with tears in my eyes. This was an incredibly somber, fatalistic film that could have only ended one way. Kudos to Matt Reeves for making the journey getting there so compelling and tragic. 

The Dark Tower- I read all eight of Stephen King's Dark tower novels and I still don't know what the hell this was. I know the idea was to make a sequel to the novels (if you've read them, you know how that could work) but what we got was a skeletal, superficial outline of a greater tale. Idris Alba is one of the most overrated actors working in film and his wooden performance is stiff to the point of hilarity. The 90-minute running time didn't help matters much. What a waste.

It- What more can I say about this terrible piece of garbage? I hated it too much to offer much in the way of coherent criticism except to say this: Worst movie I saw all year.

Blade Runner 2049- Remember what I wrote about "It?" Well, the opposite applies to this film. A sublime masterpiece.

Get Out- Wait, maybe "It" wasn't the worst movie I saw this year. It was definitely the worst one I saw theatrically, but Jordan Peele's mind-numbingly awful attempt at social criticism through blatantly ripping off "The Stepford Wives" gives it a run for its money. As uneven as the tone of "It" was, at least it had more than one. "Get Out" has one long, boring, unchanging tone that tries to mix things up during a ludicrous, asinine climax. For a brilliant comedian like Peele to create such sub-standard, pretentious rubbish, there is hope for all writers.

American Made- Say what you will about Scientology's Favorite Son, Tom Cruse's output has been of remarkably high quality for a very long time now. It's difficult to remember the last time he made a bad movie and this latest Doug Liman film about an actual CIA pilot who also worked for Colombian drug cartels is at once funny, engaging and brilliant.

Wonder Woman- A lot of people consider this the best superhero film of the year and Warner Bros.' best DC film yet. It's hard to disagree and I'm certainly not going to try. "Logan" has a more emotional connection for me because I've invested in that franchise for seventeen years but "Wonder Woman" is an incredibly well-made film that should have finally shut the DC detractors the hell up.

Thor: Ranganork- I'm not going to say this is probably the best Marvel film since "Winter Soldier" but I just did so I'm sticking with it. The self-deprecation works here because the hero us supposedly untouchable and perfect. The action is great, the acting is, too and all the elements of a solid superhero film are present.

Murder on the Orient Express- I'm always amazed when I meet someone who doesn't know the answer to the mystery of this classic story, but they exist and there are enough of them to warrant a remake. This time it's under the gifted guidance of Kenneth Branagh, whose eye for detail and insistence on strong performances pays off handsomely with this riveting period piece. All of t he actors are wonderful as is the direction and the cinematography. This time around, the filmmakers wisely focus on Agatha Cristie's genius detective's views on how life should  work and the moral dilemma he faces when it doesn't fit his narrative. 

Justice League- I'd been waiting all my life for this damn movie and I wasn't disappointed. The actors are well-cast, the action feels new in places, and the marriage of Zack Snyder's dark imagery and Joss Whedon's character-driven writing are an excellent one. This is easily my favorite team superhero movie to date.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi- Easily the most divisive Star Wars movie since the first two prequels, Rian Johnson's film is a wonderful addition to the canon that angers all the right people. The franchise had fallen into a comfortable malaise with Disney's acquisition and it's good to see buttons being pushed and fan-imposed boundaries being torn down. I enjoy having my expectations upended. I like my comfort zone being disturbed. This installment does that and more, adding a dimensionality to the tale that has been missing since "Revenge of the Sith" rolled end credits.