Cover Image for my Next Anthology Inclusion

 My short story, "The Days of Touch and Death," will appear in this one. More info as it becomes available!

Dispatches From the Coronavirus Days #13- Welcome to the End

Wait till they find out how many executive orders Trump has signed!

It's been ten days since I last posted on this blog and the world has some become an even crazier, more tragic place than it was then. On April 20th, there was still gallows humor to be found in the reality of so-called "Operation Gridlock" protests cropping up around the nation. As it turns out, however, that was really little more than a dry run for a much darker agenda, namely rightwing extremists seizing on any opportunity to play paramilitary dressup and scream at actual accomplished people because of their own feelings of inadequacy.

"Look, Daddy! Am I a man now?"

In Michigan, where the idiocy has reached near godlike proportions, we got to watch our state capitol of Lansing beset upon by these gun-wielding ignoramuses. These Constitutional scholars stood above the legislators and hurled verbal insults and demanded their way, all while not observing social distancing (which was supposed to result in a ticket after one warning) and making sure their proxy penises were visible. 

One is forced to wonder how this exact same scenario would have played out had the protestors been African American, Hispanic or, God forbid, Native American. But it's okay, because everybody knows that only white conservatives respect the "Man in Blue."

OOPS!!!

Well, we can at least assume they have their priorities straight, right? It's not difficult to understand why people who already go through life with massive persecution complexes on their shoulders would feel that way when Facebook removed their event pages. How else do you get the dozens of people needed to embarrass an entire state? Naturally the spin is that Facebook is censoring them when in reality the pages were removed because the organziers weren't encouraging and requiring social distancing.

Governor Whitmer, speaking as I write this, referred to the demonstrations as "disturbing" while citing the Nazi and Confederate flags on display. She also nicely mentioned mental health help for people who may not be handling this pendemic well. The inference was impossible to ignore.

The Derp is Palpable: People Protesting Safety from a Pandemic

What if some self-righteous twit gave a mass protest against supposed governmental overreach and almost nobody came? While sadly that was not the case in Michigan where far too many clueless folk, many of them, it turns out, were from other states, turned out to protest the governor's attempts to safeguard her constitutens from grizzly deaths, the organizers in Maryland weren't so lucky.

Brad Bell, Maryland bureau chief for ABC 7 News

This photo, uploaded to Twitter by ABC News 7 Maryland Bureau Chief Brad Bell tells an interesting non-story. According to Bell, only three people were present two hours into the "event's" planned start time. Obviously three guys can't storm the capitol, not even...

THIS BAD MOFO RIGHT HERE!

Pic obtainred via Raw Story

Let's leave the Maryland protest behind for a moment. Why should we be any different than the majority of residents? Instead, let's return to my homestate of Michigan, where I am reluctant to ascribe the word "succesful" to the absolute stupidity involved in the protest that occured here in the state's capitol. However, in terms of sheer numbers and being heard, it was indeed a success.But who really benefited from it since nothing changed and, as the governor has made clear, isn't going to based on what Salon.com referred to as the "Michigan Manbabies."

Initially, reaction to Governor Whitmer's claims that the Devos family was involved in the protests was critical, prompting her to walk the comments back. She needn't have bothered. It's been verified several times over that the Devos backed Michigan Conservative Coalition was a major player in last week's demonstration. Naturally the group is claiming the Devos Dynasty had nothin' to do with nothin'.

One wonders just what the hell they think they accomplished, however. Despite how they feel about what they did, here's a quick list of what the protest did for them and, sadly, for those of with the sense God gave circus fleas:

• Increased the liklihood of viral spread thanks to many of the protestors violating the rule regarding staying in their vehicles by standing close to one another.
• Provided those of us who oppose their narrow-minded ideology a handy list of businesses to avoid patronizing.
• Showed the entire world that, when it comes down to it, Michigan is no better than Florida when it comes to having an enormous amount of lunatics.
• Did a really good job of preventing ambulances from getting through the sea of protestor vehicles.
• Sounded really, really stupid and uneducated on every news broadcast, especially the woman who yelled, "Hi, Melania!" because obviously the First Lady was watching.

"Operation: Gridlock" protests are springing up all over the nation now because people are dumb and bored. And it's the same sad story in every state: People displaying a woeful ignorance of science who wrongly assume flattening the curve means it's time to immediately resume their old lives, all while imploring governors they despise for various reasons to "trust" them to do the right thing.

Trust them as if they've earned anything except the exact opposite. In less than a month, these entitled brats calling themselves adults started throwing Trump-level tantrums so intense their rectums probably prolapsed. Less than a month. Thanks to a steady diet of Randian propaganda courtesy of irresponsible, witless twerps such as Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly, none of them seem capable of seeing this as a situation we're all in together. The concept of civil responsibility, of sacrifice beyond one's immediate family is as foreign to them as speaking a language other than American English.

Unfortunately, there is no way they're going to suddenly experience an epiphany and conclude that their actions are harmful, inconsiderate, immature and embarrassing. This might feel like a movie but it isn't one. There's no requirement for character growth in the real world. These people are static, in a constant state of stasis. In other words, for want of a better term, they're what the powerful people manipulating them refer to as "useful idiots."

If that seems harsh, let's conclude with the words of the Colorado group currently planning its on Virus Spreaders 2020 event:

“We have won the battle of flattening the curve, and We the People demand freedom immediately to maintain our social, economic, and spiritual strength for the long haul.”

Dispatches From the Coronavirus Days #12- Idiot Edition

There's a reason my home state of Michigan was home to the Militia movement of the Nineties and that reason has been hammered home repeatedly by the insanity and abject stupidity coming from the group of people who find a stay-at-home quarantine extention to be an attack on their liberties. And what are those liberties, exactly? I think I'll let the words of those opposed to the health and well-being of their fellow humans explain it to you:

On the Facebook page "Michiganders Against Excessive Quartine" someone posted an article from some bullshit site with a headline declaring that only Trump can reopen the country. Below that, some scholar commented," Please do so Sir. Our grezy Country was not met to be on lockdown like this. Time to Make America Great again. We can't do our part under house arrest."

House arrest. That's how these acolytes of Ayn Rand, half of whom probably never heard of her, consider quarantine in the midst of the worst global epidemic since 1918!

Another comment seemed to find the need to equate gay marriage with Covid 19. She wrote, "I remember when we voted as a state, "One Man, One Woman" marriage for our state, federal government under Obama changed it."

Clearly gays wanting equal rights is where this virus came from. The China thing is little more than a cover story for the Gay Mafia's Deepstate Illuminati 5G agenda.

Another person, agreeing that "libruls" need fear to govern (an ironic statement if ever there was one) commented, "Fear is really, really rambid right now and I believe that's all part of the plan!"

I don't know who "Rambid" is, but apparently he has a lot to answer for! Kinda sounds like a French villain in a James Bond movie.

But fear not. This "movement" has a ringleader and he is no disappointment. Looking for all the world like a sleazy used car salesman who moonlights as a Prosperity Gospel preacher, Garrett Soldano is single-handedly fanning the flames of idiocy. Soldano is a practicing chiropractor for whatever that's worth in this situation. I guess because he has "doctor" before his name, that makes him the go-to expert on pandemics for the anti-quarantine crowd. I know that next time one hits, my first stop will be a guy who works on the body's "meridians." However, if you remain unconvinced by his choice of medical practice, he also lists himself on Twitter as, ""AN ENTREPRENEUR, AUTHOR, PHILANTHROPIST, AND A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER."

Sensing his time to shine, Soldano is over all the interwebs telling Michigan residents to "stand tall" against the Governor's attempts to halt the spread of the virus because the economy is more important than people not dying. He also does daily video updates on the aforementioned Facebook page lest anyone start thinking he's a smug, self-promoting opportunist who is seizing a moment for his own personal gain. And naturally, all the ill-informed, selfish residents of Michigan are flocking to this individual for guidance in uncertain times. I guess nothing screams "Constitutional Expert" like a guy who cracks backs and peddles holistic remedies. He won't mind my saying this because, in his own words, "...our fight for our Constitutional rights gets fanned HOTTER by every hate comment against us."

These people aren't limiting their protests to Facebook, however. They're planning a "march" of sorts on April 15th. But instead of standing outside, they plan to gridlock the state capitol in Lansing. So, they're protesting a quarantine by quarantining themselves. Feel free to reread that previous sentence as many times as you need.

So much of this insane rambling can be traced back to the Michigan Militia, a group of alarmist anti-gubmint types who basically shot off guns in the forest, wore fatigues and poisoned the minds of their fellow Michiganders. Now we're dealing with their inheritors.

We can only hope the people with sense still outnumber them.

Dispatches from the Coronavirus Days #4

Look to the Skies: Like any major event, Covid-19 has its share of associated conspiracy theories but my favorite is the one I saw on a UFOs and aliens Facebook page. Who am I kidding? 90% of them came from that page, but this one is definitely the best: Apparently the powers-that-be don't want us outside looking up when the UFOs arrive and start landing! And if it fails under mild scrutiny because the theorist neglected to account for the fact that we've been told it's actually encouraged to go outside? Screw it! The theory kicks ass!

Spend Big Money at Menards: Wisconsin-based retailer Menards was recently sent a cease & desist letter by the Michigan Attorney State General for price gouging. Specifically they rasied prices on cleaning products and protective masks. A Facebook friend claimed they knew someone who paid seven dollars for a small bottle of Lysol airspray. They were given ten days to reply. Ten days. Imagine all the gouge they can still pull off in that time before deciding to comply. Hopefully, people will stop going there until this has been resolved.

Leave the Ghostlight On When you Tweet: Governor Whitmer's response to Covid-19 has been commendable. Only a fool would say otherwise. Enter President Donald Trump, whose weird, out-of-nowhere Tweet accused her of not doing enough and ended with him claiming he and his administration were basically lighting s fire under her ass. It was classic "The Donald," a bait and switch designed to absolve him of all wrongdoing due to his own lackluster response and paint the female Democrat as incompetent. It's doubtful anyone who wasn't already willing to believe him is fooled.

If You're Healthy and you know it, Risk Exposure: California Republican Senator Devin Nunes is currently facing a rather severe PR nightmare based on irresponsible comments he made regarding what people should be doing during the pandemic. Basically, he told people if they're healthy, they should frequent restaurants so as not to "hurt the working people" in 'Murica. That was, of course, prior to the mandatory shut-downs of all the eateries and just about every other damn thing. He later tried to, as they say these days, walk back his comments when talking to Sean Hannity, a.k.a. Trump's rectal thermometer. But even Trump was not saying this because for once, he gets it and this bug-eyed wackjob does not. It's pretty bad when CNN tries to save your hash and you still shoot yourself in the leg.

America's Wang Still Doin' it's Thang: It turns out Homer Simpson was right after all; Florida really is America's wang! For proof of that wang status, look no further than this link. Invincible idiots who don't seem to care about being carriers for the virus decided to party their asses off thanks to a bar that defied the statewide order to shut the hell down. Technically, they were supposed to reduce capacity to 50% up until 11:00 pm but the pics clearly show they didn't allow a bunch of silly medical precautions to diminish their drunken good time.

All Hail the Plastic Pastor!: Do you have a moment for me to tell you about the Good News? We no longer need to fear the ramifications of the idiots in Florida congregating in large numbers because Donald Trump's "spiritual advisor" has a fix-it. Asking her followers to send "seed money" to her for protection against plague and pestilence, Pastor Paula White is billing her ministry as a hospital to the sick. Apparently the hospitals to healthy people weren't included. Adherents to the Prosperity Gospel will likely find her entreaties appealing since they view faith as an investment that comes with a return. It's a religion that deserves to be renamed "Americanism" and she is currently one of its major figures. No wonder a shameless self-promoter like Trump likes her so much. Well, that and her blond hair, adoration of him and unmoving plastic face.

All the World's a (Viral) Stage: As mentioned above, conspiracy theories abound in the wake of the Covid-19 outbreak and people we know in real life are not immune (see what I did there?) to their odd allure. One in particular comes from "Author Unknown," and ain't that always the case? Unknown goes into great detail about how a very real viral outbreak is no big deal, how the media is causing mass panic and how this is all just a test run for socialism. He also draws ludicrous parrallels to cancer and car accidents to demonstrate how other things kill more people. This is in spite of a president who basically poops capitalism every time he walks taking it all very seriously and ordering the closing of establishments and all the rest of the normal responses to an untreatable virus. Someone I know posted this particular theory on their Facebook page. Objectively speaking, it is an effective piece of writing. It pushes all the right buttons, gets its point across and details exactly what it sets out to. It's also incredibly irresponsible because it can inspire others of a similar mentality to not take proper precautions. Pointing that out resulted in me being "melodramatic" because a post isn't going to kill anyone.

But Maybe a Post Can Save People: This one should speak for itself so I'll not editorialize.

More to Come~

Read Dispatch #3 Here!

Dispatches from the Corona Virus Days #3

Everything Must Go...at a 300% Mark-up: In my first Dispatch, I wrote about price gouging and whether or not it was going to become something to be prosecuted for. Well, now this has happened. Of course, this won't prevent the more subtle acts of gouging such as what's happening at Aldi where things are just slightly higher than normal, but it will hopefully stop the unscrupulous who view things such as this as an investment opportunity.

Who Was That Masked Man?: Have you noticed that while the CDC has told us wearing masks is unecessary, people in and from other countries are wearing them? In Asia, it's considered the right thing to do for anyone who might be sick to wear them. Unfortunately, since we're discouraged from doing it in the U.S., it makes us think the person is a walking petrie dish. I hear this has resulted in a few misunderstandings around the country and even I'll admit to a knee-jerk reaction when first seeing someone masked from the corner of my eye. That didn't stop me from wearing one yesterday when I went to the grocery store. Most people looked away quickly. A few smirked. Nobody recoiled in horror.

The 24-Hour News Cycle Plays in Hell: Ever since the early 1990s, news has become as prevalent in our lives as breathing. The so-called "Desert Storm" campaign was covered 24/7 by cable news and the broadcast news stations. Those days seem quaint now. People actually had to turn on their televisions to find out what was being reported. Handheld devices and social networking are connecting us in ways both wondrous and dangerous. Unsubstantiated rumors abound, changing from minute to minute, and there is no filter preventing them from reaching the masses. If ever there was an argument for professional journalism, this is it? Unfortunately, this current president and hundreds of other politicians have poisoned the ill-informed against all forms of media. How do we know? Because they don't even see the irony of using media to complain about it!

There's no Art of the Deal for Incompetence: In his press conference held yesterday, Donald Trump sounded more reasonable and sober than he has since this entire situation began, but what does that really mean? Less word salad? Less boasting about his "accomplishments?" More accepting of personal responsibility? Ultimately, it's up to the individual to decide, but his constant reference to the "tremendous job" officials are doing and how "a lot of progress has been made" are certainly questionable. Despite Trump's constant assertions that we as a nation were prepared for this, we moved too slowly considering what was happening in China and we are paying for the lackadaisacal response.

Briefings are for Underwear: Everyone except his staunchest apologists knows Donald Trump ain't got no time for no in-depth conversations. There are reports that this was also true of the briefings about the Coronavirus. This does track when one reflects on his ridiculous comment during yesterday's briefing where he stated, "a month ago, nobody thought about this." Naturally, it's preferrable to think he was using over-simplified language and wasn't being literal. I'm willing to accept that to an extent. However, that doesn't account for his early dismissals of the eventuality of Covid-19 reaching American shores.

Words of Wisdom from Randos:

• "This is what 'deconstructing government' looks like. This what shutting down our pandemic response agency looks like. This is what putting an amateur reality show host as leader of the free world looks like."
• "Our leader did not lead. He left us wide open for this. He called it a hoax. He called it fake news. He did not do his job!"

The City That Never Slept: I've been to Manhattan twice. It does sleep from about 4:00 am until 5:30 am. This link, however, tells a different story.

More to Come~




Previous Disptaches:
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#2