Monday, March 16, 2020

Dispatches from the Corona Virus Days #2

This Just In!: One of two things learned today while standing on line at Aldi came when a woman expressing shock and dismay at all the perceived last-minute stockpiling of food, etc. mentioned that she had just heard about this whole global pandemic thing yesterday. She was all decked out in a surgical mask and shower cap and was surprisingly young-looking.

Storage Options May Vary: Lesson number two came from the same woman and was learned by another woman in line to whom she was speaking. When the other woman said she always had lots of food stored away in her freezer and pantry, the woman who'd just heard about the quaranting a day ago said, "Yeah, but don't everybody got no pantry." Never assume was the lesson, but also that double negatives are sometimes the least of the grammatical offenses.

To the Bars, the Idiots: Just like the rest of the state's schools, Michigan State University was closed by official governor's order. However, that didn't prevent many among its student population from immediately running to the bars in town to congregate in close quarters and cough and sneeze all over each other in the name of "fun." This trend infected other portions of the state to the point where Governor Whitmer has now ordered all restaurants and bars to close and only provide "to go" food orders.

Long Lines Will Save us: According to this article in The Texas Tribune, long lines of people being delayed due to the virus are just a'sittin' around, cramped together, coughin' and sneezin' within inches of one another because the best way to halt the spread of a virus that is transmitted those ways is to better ensure that hundreds of people are unable to spread apart!

Church Bells Ring, Can't Help Listenin': Since yesterday, a nearby church has been ringing its bells every hour on the hour. It is both comforting and maddening. They just started back up while that previous sentence was being typed. End of Days much?

Welcome To 'Murica: In the other countries dealing with Covid-19, the citizens know they will not have to worry about getting paid while they are practicing social distancing. Italy has even suspended mortgages until the crisis is over. But here in the country that apparently hadn't been great for a long time until a red hat told us it could be great again, many of us don't know if we will continue to get paid. As usual, everyone discounts those of us who interface with the public for a living and assume working from home is an option for most of us. A bill was introduced to provide continuing pay but the Republcan senate shot it down because it didn't remove federal funding for abortions. Yep. Even now, they're playing politics with our lives. And while another bill has been sent over, it is a watered down version.

Morons with Fingers: No dispatch would be complete without at least one tale of a wretched twit making assinine comments online, so of course here are two such tales:

  • One guy making Michigan proud he lives here cried "fake news" at the undeniable fact that Governor Whitmer has ordered the closures of restaurants.
  • The other prize winner took humbrage at a post detailing Trump's many failures regarding dealing with the virus by trying to make it appear as if the "liberal presidents" in other countries did nothing to help their citizens. Forget that this shouldn't be about liberal vs. conservative as seen through narrow American prisms. Instead of accepting that his glorious leader made mistakes, this guy was more interested in "whataboutism" and interpreting facts as "taking shots." 


More to come~

(Read Dispatch#1 here)

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2 Migraine-inducingly Moronic Posts

 No commentary, no attempts to rationalize. Just gaze, if you dare, on the stupid!