Dispatches From the Coronavirus Days #9- Vaguely Humorus Edition

There isn't much to laugh at right now and any attempts are no doubt strained. However, even in the midst of bleak tragedy, there will always be idiots sent forth to amuse us. That's why I'm starting with

Florida Man got Elected to Office to Share a Cure: A County Commissioner from Florida whose last name, of course, is Culpepper claimed he had found a Covid-19 cure which he happily shared with the world. Citing a non-existent doctor on a non-existent segment on the One America News Network. That miracle cure? A blowdryer aimed right up the nose. That's right. According to Culpepper, since the nasal passages are the wettest part of us (no comments, please) the blowdryer can be used to kill the virus before it moves on to the lungs. Culpepper was later called out on his cure claim and issued an apology for instilling false hope. His reasoning? He was trying to give hope to those without health insurance. Let's file this one under well-intentioned/indicative of our healthcare system.

China and the Gay Mafia are to Blame: One of the many truly frightening things about the Trump administration is how so many of them, sans Trump, of course, are insane religious fanatics. Case in point: Ralph Drollinger, a minister who leads  morning prayer meetings every Wednesday for the president's cabinet. In a series of blog posts and *ahem* "study guides," the former college basketball player turned clergyman alludes to God's judgment without fully commiting to the idea that this particular virus is the outcome of it. He did, however, mention the Chinese as if they maliciously released the virus on us, also as if they haven't suffered the most from it so far. He also, somewhat masterfully, implicated homosexuals and environmentalists. This is the person to whom Mike Pence, Betsy Devos and Ben Carson listen WEEKLY for spiritual guidance. If that isn't tragically and horrifyingly hilarious, what is?

Teenagers Eating Corn are Tired of being Quarantined: If that title doesn't make sense to you, it's probably because you know how to spell "Quarantine," unlike several online folk who spell it like this:

Embiggen the image and see for yourself.


Eye-talians Don't Play: I've already written about the teenagers who think spitting on produce during a global poandemic is cool and funny, but I'd love to see them give that a try in Italy. If this video of a man getting his ass handed to him for spitting on produce is any indication, Italian justice suits the offense.

Profiteering, it's not just for Vulture Capitalists Anymore: We all know there's a whole pond of scum doing their level best to profit from his horrible tragedy from Hobby Lobby CEO David Green, who refuses to close for "shelter in place" orders unless the power is turned off and various other businessmen and politicians. But who says it has to all be negative? Well, certainly not whoever compiled the list pictured below:

Ah, gallows humor. Eases the pain...for about eight seconds.

I'll see myself out, but first, a meme that is both poignant and funny, especially to this kaiju fan:

"Besides, he'll probably only kill the slower, elderly people and I'm sure they're willing to sacrifice themselves so the economy doesn't collapse!"

More to come~



Read previous Dispatch here.

The Quote That Perfectly Explains my Disdain for Fandom.

 "There was once a false sense that fandom was the place where all of those things were celebrated: Diversity, the fight against bullies of all types, and the front line of those supporting progress and change. Apparently, that was a smokescreen that the Internet has effectively wiped away."

-David Wilson, Writer and Illustrator

Literary Ignorance at its Finest.

A Trip Down (Recent) Memory Lane Courtesy of Richard Bowes.

This morning, awesome author Richard Bowes reposted the interview I conducted with him in 2013 on my Facebook page. Not only was I honored originally that he consented to an interview for my first issue, I am also honored that he remembered and, in his usual class act way, made sure I knew he did.

Then I started going through those old issues and feeling a tad melancholy. I miss the days of compiling those (I think) wonderful issues by (factually speaking) wonderful authors, each with his or her own vision of the darkness inside themselves and their fellow humans. It was hectic and stressful and sometimes the rewards were few and far between.

And I'd do it all over again without changing much at all. That includes apparently driving away an acquaintance who found the act of publishing their spouse's twisted work so objectionable that they felt comfortable confronting me via Facebook before dropping me and summarily ignoring me afterwards.

The magazines are still available to be read and I sincerely believe you'd be doing yourself a favor by doing so.

*Addendum*

After rereading my first editorial, I can honestly say I set the tone for what I was doing exactly as I'd hoped. You can read it here.

Thoughts on the Orlando Massacre.

I could offer my observations and opinions on what happened in Orlando when  a murderer slaughtered fifty human beings at a nightclub and wounded at least fifty-three more in the name of  his twisted take on religion combined with homophobia taken to its worst extreme. But that would all be theoretical, despite the well-intentioned approach. Instead, I thought I'd repost something one of my bosses wrote because it's eloquent, well-written and, most importantly, it's based on the viewpoint of someone who can relate:

"About a month ago I was at Town Hall, as I am quite a bit because of the library, and I struck up a conversation with one of my favorites. I don't really remember how it came up but we started discussing some issues and she told me about her friend and her partner and their children who had basically been bullied out of a local Catholic school. I voiced my concern about being singled out and she asked me if I was really worried about such a thing. Yes! I am! I'm sure I will never hold John's hand in public, I get mad at him when we are in the car and he will put his arm around me when I'm driving. You just never know who's going to be looking. Who will pull up next to you? Is it going to be some nut job with a gun that's disgusted by the fag next to him? What happens if we are out some place and Madgirl is with us? What if she's subjected to harassment? What if something worse?
I saw something so repulsive today on someone's page that was an article about praying away the gay and choosing to live life as a straight person. I'm so utterly disgusted by the notion that anyone has the power to change such a thing. Equally disturbing was the Lieutenant Governor of Texas who tweeted after the news broke that "man reaps what they sow." As if some people partying and not bothering anyone else deserved to be gunned down.

There are days when I hear my good friend's voice in my head, I won't mention him, but he knows who he is.....he said to me "it must have been difficult all those years to be you...I'm sorry." He's a true man of God and I'm so thankful I have him as a friend.

I don't know what the answer is.....if there even is one. I know that posting on FB to pray for a group of people or a city isn't going to do it. I know that making new laws or stricter laws won't do it. There has to be a conscious change, a want to change and a desire to do the hard work to change before anything will happen. Every time something like this happens people say we need to have a conversation and it doesn't happen and then the next tragedy comes and goes and so on. There's always something new to distract us from the truth.....a new Kardashian is born, someone used a certain bathroom or a gorilla divides the nation.

I truly wish for peace and for people to respect one another, I just don't think we have it in us. We ARE choosing not to care about one another and the cycle will continue."