Idiotic Comments I've had to Correct on Yahoo News Article Comment Sections.

I have no idea why, but I still deign to look at and comment on Yahoo! news articles. It's a fascinating glimpse into the miasmic anus that is the human condition.  Morons feel empowered pre-2006 style to write some of the most hateful, reactionary crap because it is still anonymous. But it isn't just a repository for stupid points of view, it's also where knowledge and facts go to die. It's where I've come to believe the mentality that says facts are the same as opinions was born.

For instance, some windsock level intellect commenting on filmmaker/comic geek Kevin Smith's effusive praise of "Avengers: Endgame" wrote, "Maybe that’s why he doesn’t make movies anymore.. to busy watching other people’s Marvel movies." 

Never mind that he wrote "to busy," he also neglected to do a quick search of Smith's filmography to find out about the movie he just released a few months ago. 

Assumptions reign supreme, however. On another article about the "Star Wars" comic book that one guy took issue with, he wrote, "Millennials writing Star Wars is as bad as the remake movies that BOMB every year."
Never mind that the only Star Wars film that was considered a major disappointment was "Solo." There's also the fact that a quick glance at the comic writer's bio reveals he is 45, hardly a millennial. 

Perhaps my favorite and subjectively speaking the best in recent memory is the brain stem-challenged twit whose criticism of a commentary article amounted to, "So this article's headline..... questions whether the movie flopped.... yet the article comes to the conclusion it clearly did. Gotcha."
To that one, I merely replied, "Yes, that's how analysis...works."

All of this brings me to my good buddy, Phil, possibly the biggest idiot I've encountered since a certain would-be children's book author/podcaster who ran screaming on Facebook several years ago when I caught him using biased sources and manipulating his interviews.  Phil is a real piece of work, a lump of coal in a diamond mine, and he didn't go easy into the stupid night. 

It all started when he misinterpreted someone's point on an article about the upcoming controversial film, "The Hunt." I won't spend time synopsizing the film here, but you can read the article by clicking here.

When I dared mention Phil-baby's lack of comprehension, he replied, " don't care what he said. The movie is inciting violence and hatred. What happens when one of you ANTIFA whackos act out what is on screen? Take your masks off and show your face, don't hide behind masks and hidden meanings in movies."

I replied, "Wait, now I'm a member of ANTIFA because I pointed out your lack of comprehension? Shall I call you a Nazi because you don't listen to logic? Rather not." (This was me still attempting to be reasonable and hopefully show him how he'd allowed his misplaced passion to cause an unjust value judgment.)

He instantly became enlightened and contrite, replying, "well you can't teach stupid, so you are free to babble all you want. If you defend this movie, you are promoting violence and hate."

He was right, of course. My objective attempt to point out that he didn't even understand what the original meant was clearly an incitement of violence. Clarification=ANTIFA, after all. 

I must have really gotten to him, though, because he followed up by writing, "then why are you here? My position is clear, the movie promotes violence. You proceeded to attempt (poorly) to insult me. So what is your goal troll? Either you disagree w my opinion, which means you support the movie, or you are just a worthless troll. Which one?"

At this point, I felt like we'd bonded to the level where I could extend a compassionate voice to him. So, I naturally replied, "Phil Wow, you really are a moron. Just because your position is clear doesn't make it less idiotic. Just means you're clearly stupid and unable to grasp simple concepts. That's why I'm here. Because you're so incredibly unintelligent, it drew my attention like a moth to flame. Movies don't promote violence, they tell stories. Many of them are poorly made, but the purpose of art is to challenge social norms and make us question. You can't do that. I get it. You're a MAGA drone, which is far worse than a troll."

And he lovingly wrote, "ok if that is your view, you are ignorant. This movie isn't "challenging social norms", it is dangerously promoting violence against those w differing political views. This is an extremely dangerous message in these times, and if you support and think its ok, you are just as ridiculous as you sound here. I'm more educated than you could ever dream, so keep up your Yahoo trolling career."

Now, nobody besmirches my Yahoo trolling career. I make good money doing...Wait.

Anyway! I wrote back, "Phil being educated and being intelligent are not always the same thing and it would seem that you are living proof of that. So, you can bandy about your Internet University credentials all you want. The simple fact is you are woefully ignorant of how art works and therefore more dangerous to society than a stupid, gimmicky movie because somebody thought it was a good idea that you be allowed to vote."

I then follered up with, "Also, educated people don't make insane leaps of logic based on anecdotal observations. Ex. Calling someone a member of ANTIFA because they clarify another person's point."

He replied, "ok you are exhausting and really gonna hurt yourself w big words. If you choose to glorify violence as "art", then you can own the consequences of supporting such as ridiculous film."

And my final reply, "Phil I'm sorry, does the poor educated genius struggle with my so-called "big words"? If you're exhausted, go take a nap lil'' fella and the big folks can keep talking."

That was the last thing posted. I feel like I really made a difference. I just know Phil reformed his ways and stopped being a judgmental asshair. He embraced the ability to analyze objectively and is even now spreading what he learned to others of his kind in an attempt to guide humanity into a new era of enlightenment unseen since the lost continent of Atlantis hit a dinosaur and sank into the Louisiana Bayou!

Some of my Favorite Responses to Morons on News Articles.

While not as often as I once did, I still find myself commenting on news articles, mostly on Yahoo!, when someone makes a comment so moronic, so absurd and so goddam dumb that I simply cannot help myself. I try to be less antagonist these days, though, as long as they don't come at me that way.

 So, I have compiled a list of some of my favorite responses to (mostly) morons. Some of these are me replying to them replying to me but the majority are from my responses to their asinine comments or just my original comments on the articles. Some semblance of context is provided where needed:

• Awesome attempt at a slam but next time make sure you know the difference between Deniro and Pacino.
• Conservatives leveling accusations of McCarthyism is probably the funniest thing I've seen since they started quoting MLK!
• You seem genuinely unaware of Kid Rock's origins so I would suggest you look into his song "Grits Sandwiches for Breakfast" and then come back and tell us what black music he used. I could also have you speak to a man of color who was there during Rock's DJing period as a fellow DJ who said his mic skills were sorely lacking.
  Or you could wallow in self-righteous ignorance. Your choice
• Far too many identical comments supporting [Ron] Paul. And by identical I mean the wording, not the sentiment. Well, as we "Americans say,"Боже, благослови мать Россию."
• Oh, Cam as in camisole. Adjust the silky lady undergarments and relax. Your maleness *snicker* isn't under attack here.
• "Epic Pair Of Cat Leggings" is the exact phrase Nostradamus said would be uttered right before the endtimes.
• Who in their right mind would give my comment a thumbs down? Oh...answered my own question!
• You mean the 80's when people literally drove around looking for "guys that look gay" to beat nearly to death? Those were the days, my friend, lives were brought to an end...
• You do realize Elton John is gay, not merely festive?
• The scariest thing about [Steve] Bannon is that he can sometimes make lots of sense. just enough to momentarily convince you he's not an insidious hate-monger with a destructive ideology.
• (Re: The Joker movie) You're not too swift, are you? Also prone to projection. I never once "blamed" anyone. I merely made the point that anytime someone creates controversial art involving violence like this, it should at least occur to them that someone who is mentally ill could imitate it. Anything else you inferred is from your own particular brand of self-righteous idiocy.
  But please continue your inane examples because they're awfully amusing.
• "MIllenials are Killing Award Shows!"
  Hysterical details later tonight.
•  Clever retort. You must be a real cut-up at the group home.
• This seriously never occurred to him? Must be nice to float through life on a vapor cloud of your own cluelessness.
• (Re: Epstein) Because sex offenders should get a free pass?
  When do you get to remove your ankle tether?
• (Re: "Avatar") It was that rare message movie I agree with and still wanted it to shut up.
• Interesting how all I see in the comments section are people whining about guns being a God-given right and how Beto don't know nuthin' 'bout no guns no way, but nobody is mentioning the incredibly sexist diatribe from this idiot commentator who obviously regards "his girl" as property/\
• What does it feel like to have been born in the past few hours with no knowledge of history.

I hope you enjoyed these. If not, you won't want to read the next batch I post whenever I run out of posting ideas~