Idiotic Comments I've had to Correct on Yahoo News Article Comment Sections.

I have no idea why, but I still deign to look at and comment on Yahoo! news articles. It's a fascinating glimpse into the miasmic anus that is the human condition.  Morons feel empowered pre-2006 style to write some of the most hateful, reactionary crap because it is still anonymous. But it isn't just a repository for stupid points of view, it's also where knowledge and facts go to die. It's where I've come to believe the mentality that says facts are the same as opinions was born.

For instance, some windsock level intellect commenting on filmmaker/comic geek Kevin Smith's effusive praise of "Avengers: Endgame" wrote, "Maybe that’s why he doesn’t make movies anymore.. to busy watching other people’s Marvel movies." 

Never mind that he wrote "to busy," he also neglected to do a quick search of Smith's filmography to find out about the movie he just released a few months ago. 

Assumptions reign supreme, however. On another article about the "Star Wars" comic book that one guy took issue with, he wrote, "Millennials writing Star Wars is as bad as the remake movies that BOMB every year."
Never mind that the only Star Wars film that was considered a major disappointment was "Solo." There's also the fact that a quick glance at the comic writer's bio reveals he is 45, hardly a millennial. 

Perhaps my favorite and subjectively speaking the best in recent memory is the brain stem-challenged twit whose criticism of a commentary article amounted to, "So this article's headline..... questions whether the movie flopped.... yet the article comes to the conclusion it clearly did. Gotcha."
To that one, I merely replied, "Yes, that's how analysis...works."

All of this brings me to my good buddy, Phil, possibly the biggest idiot I've encountered since a certain would-be children's book author/podcaster who ran screaming on Facebook several years ago when I caught him using biased sources and manipulating his interviews.  Phil is a real piece of work, a lump of coal in a diamond mine, and he didn't go easy into the stupid night. 

It all started when he misinterpreted someone's point on an article about the upcoming controversial film, "The Hunt." I won't spend time synopsizing the film here, but you can read the article by clicking here.

When I dared mention Phil-baby's lack of comprehension, he replied, " don't care what he said. The movie is inciting violence and hatred. What happens when one of you ANTIFA whackos act out what is on screen? Take your masks off and show your face, don't hide behind masks and hidden meanings in movies."

I replied, "Wait, now I'm a member of ANTIFA because I pointed out your lack of comprehension? Shall I call you a Nazi because you don't listen to logic? Rather not." (This was me still attempting to be reasonable and hopefully show him how he'd allowed his misplaced passion to cause an unjust value judgment.)

He instantly became enlightened and contrite, replying, "well you can't teach stupid, so you are free to babble all you want. If you defend this movie, you are promoting violence and hate."

He was right, of course. My objective attempt to point out that he didn't even understand what the original meant was clearly an incitement of violence. Clarification=ANTIFA, after all. 

I must have really gotten to him, though, because he followed up by writing, "then why are you here? My position is clear, the movie promotes violence. You proceeded to attempt (poorly) to insult me. So what is your goal troll? Either you disagree w my opinion, which means you support the movie, or you are just a worthless troll. Which one?"

At this point, I felt like we'd bonded to the level where I could extend a compassionate voice to him. So, I naturally replied, "Phil Wow, you really are a moron. Just because your position is clear doesn't make it less idiotic. Just means you're clearly stupid and unable to grasp simple concepts. That's why I'm here. Because you're so incredibly unintelligent, it drew my attention like a moth to flame. Movies don't promote violence, they tell stories. Many of them are poorly made, but the purpose of art is to challenge social norms and make us question. You can't do that. I get it. You're a MAGA drone, which is far worse than a troll."

And he lovingly wrote, "ok if that is your view, you are ignorant. This movie isn't "challenging social norms", it is dangerously promoting violence against those w differing political views. This is an extremely dangerous message in these times, and if you support and think its ok, you are just as ridiculous as you sound here. I'm more educated than you could ever dream, so keep up your Yahoo trolling career."

Now, nobody besmirches my Yahoo trolling career. I make good money doing...Wait.

Anyway! I wrote back, "Phil being educated and being intelligent are not always the same thing and it would seem that you are living proof of that. So, you can bandy about your Internet University credentials all you want. The simple fact is you are woefully ignorant of how art works and therefore more dangerous to society than a stupid, gimmicky movie because somebody thought it was a good idea that you be allowed to vote."

I then follered up with, "Also, educated people don't make insane leaps of logic based on anecdotal observations. Ex. Calling someone a member of ANTIFA because they clarify another person's point."

He replied, "ok you are exhausting and really gonna hurt yourself w big words. If you choose to glorify violence as "art", then you can own the consequences of supporting such as ridiculous film."

And my final reply, "Phil I'm sorry, does the poor educated genius struggle with my so-called "big words"? If you're exhausted, go take a nap lil'' fella and the big folks can keep talking."

That was the last thing posted. I feel like I really made a difference. I just know Phil reformed his ways and stopped being a judgmental asshair. He embraced the ability to analyze objectively and is even now spreading what he learned to others of his kind in an attempt to guide humanity into a new era of enlightenment unseen since the lost continent of Atlantis hit a dinosaur and sank into the Louisiana Bayou!

Best & worst Movies of the Last Ten Years- Updated as of 12/1/19!

Below is my list of what I considered to be the worst and best films of 2009-2019. Keep in mind this list is based solely on movies I have actually seen:

2009
Best: Inglorious Basterds
Worst: Avatar
Honorable Mention for Best: Watchmen & Star Trek
Most Overrated: The Hurt Locker


2010
Best: Inception
Worst: Hot Tub Time Machine & Jonah Hex
Honorable Mention for Best: True Grit & Kick-Ass
Honorable Mention for Worst: Skyline







2011
Best: Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol & X-Men: First Class  
Worst: The Hangover Part II
Honorable Mention for Best: Another Earth
Honorable Mention for Worst: Hobo With a Shotgun
Most Overrated:  Super 8 (Still a good movie, though)

2012- This was a tough year for choosing one Worst!
Best: The Avengers
Worst: The Hunger Games
Honorable Mention for Worst: Skyfall
Honorable Mention for Best:  Looper

2013- The Year of Absolute Shit
Best: 12 Years a Slave
Worst: Frozen
Honorable Mention for Worst: Identity Thief & A Good Day to Die Hard & This is the End

2014
Best: X-Men Days of Future Past  & Captain America The Winter Soldier
Worst: Transformers: Age of Extinction
Honorable Mention For Best: Birdman 
Honorable Mention for Worst: Big Hero 6
Most Overrated: Guardians of the Galaxy

2015
Best: Stars Wars the Force Awakens
Worst: Fantastic Four
Honorable Mention for Best: Straight Outta Compton & The Martian
Most Overrated: Mad Max: Fury Road

2016
Best: Arrival & Shin Godzilla
Worst: Deadpool
Honorable Mention for Best: The Nice Guys
Most Overrated: Captain America: Civil War & Rogue One

2017 
Best: Logan
Worst: It
Honorable Mention  for Worst: Get Out (Also Most Overrated)

2018
Best: Avengers: Infinity War
Worst: No Movie Met the Criteria
Honorable Mention for Best: Annihilation & Bohemian Rhapsody
Most Overrated: Black Panther (A good but flawed movie)

2019
Best: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Worst: (SH)It: Chapter 2
Most Overrated: Captain Marvel 
Honorable Mention  for Worst: Avengers: Endgame (Didn't hate it but it was a huge disappointment on all levels

Avengers: Endgame, a Response in List Form.

It has now been four months since I sat in a darkened theater with a fellow comic fan and watched the film both of us had been eagerly and giddily anticipating for a year. Having both become equally obsessed with the previous "Avengers: Infinity War," a movie we both watched over and over in anticipation of an epic conclusion, our excitement could not have reached a higher fever pitch.

The film, clocking in at just over three hours, set out to bring an open-ended conclusion to eleven years worth of interconnected storytelling in one massive, never-before-done cinematic achievement. When it was over, we left the theater in silence, walking past a long line of moviegoers who had come for the next showing. It wasn't until we got in the car that I spoke first.

Sighing, I said, "Y'know. I don't know that I liked it."

"Me neither," he said.

And with that dual admission, I felt my soul sink into a strange sadness that did not let up for two months.

I won't go into my feelings too much in this post but I will admit to feeling incredibly letdown. Predictably, the early reactions to the film were glowing and positive, but once the "feels" wore off, more people started sounding like me. And, of course, they were attacked for it. It was "The Dark Knight" all over again, except perhaps a bit less psychotic. I touched on that portion here.

My movie buddy, who has not seen the movie a second time, has settled into a bit of spin doctoring, where he insists the movie was always expected to be what we saw. Maybe, but that doesn't mean it should have been. That doesn't mean we should excuse lazy writing and arrogant presumption on the part of the filmmakers and, in particular, the screenwriters.

That's why, now that I have what I feel is sufficient emotional distance, I can now list my issues with the film in detail based on my criteria for successful drama.

TONE: One would have to be insane or utterly clueless to expect this movie to maintain the tone of "Infinity War." This is a film about the aftermath of its predecessor's events. The tone should be more somber, more serious and, sadly, less entertaining. That last point isn't a fault of the filmmakers, it's a necessity based on the story. So, the tone of the film is appropriate and mostly effective.

PLOT: Not to be confused with the next point, the movie's plot is a bit of a mess. That would be okay with a stronger story, but in this case there are far too many contrivances and very little realized potential. To start, the idea that the events of the previous movie aren't easily repaired sound great until you realize the plot involves the heroes easily repairing the events of the previous movie. Once the initial, relatively interesting world-building takes place, the film's plot merely dumps the viewer from one uninspired set to another all so it can end with a big battle sequence. The various character sub-plots such as "Fat Thor" and his PTSD (Marvel really seems to think trauma is good for a few laughs) and Professor Hulk definitely have their negative aspects but they don't ruin the overall plot.

STORY: The filmmakers had one job: Maintain the quality of "Infinity War" while telling a different kind of story in the sequel. Due to several questionable story element choices, they failed. How did they fail? For one thing, they got lazy. Time travel to the past is just about the most tiresome trope in science fiction these days and this film embraces it like a lost lover. Of all the alternative solutions to the problem our heroes faced (I came up with five without even thinking hard) time travel was what the writers settled on? I say "settled on" because I want to believe they're smart enough to have considered other options before using one any first semester hack could have come up with. As mentioned in the "Plot" section, "Endgame" moves from one lackluster location to another because the story dictates time hopping. And since the easiest way to get people to like you these days appears to involve turning up the nostalgia meter to eleven, the second hour of the film involves one previously seen location or scene after another until it feels as if this is not so much a sequel as a greatest hits collection. The earlier promising setup of a trip into the Quantum Realm heralded by Antman's return thanks to a rat is abandoned in favor of one of the most interminable hours in MCU history.  That brings me to the next point,

PACING: Oy vey. Sluggish in places, "Endgame" was never supposed to be the pulse-pounding actioner that "Infinity War" was. But the pace never seems to pick up even when the big battle is happening. The part where present-day Thanos is found is over before it starts, plunging the remainder of the film into sloth-like discussion scenes and supposedly touching moments such as Tony Stark's experience in 1970. Unlike "Infinity War," this movie feels like every single one of its 180 minutes.

ACTING: The MCU actors know their roles and play them well. If they seem less present this time, it feels more like an editing issue than a performance one. Although I'd be lying if I didn't admit that Downey seems tired and ready to move on. Interestingly, Paul Rudd's performance is the most dynamic this time, maybe because they gave me him more to do. Josh Brolin, who turned in a phenomenal performance last time around, seems lethargic and bored now.

DIRECTION/EDITING: The Russo Brothers are hit and miss for me. They seem to observe the so-called "Star Trek" rule where every other film is good. This time around they do a fine job but nothing stands out. The editing, however, is where my friend I agreed the major issues with "Endgame" are to be found. Scenes that should be shorter are far too long and scenes that needed to be longer are over much too quickly.

ACTION: Well, there isn't much. Most of the film consists of long stretches of would-be witty dialogue and discussing the plot as if we the viewers forgot it after five minutes. Action gives way to suspense in this installment, which is perfectly fine. There was no way they were going to top what was done in "Infinity War." The problem is, the only real suspense takes place in small pockets rather than a continuing thread and by the time the movie really decides to become full-on suspenseful, it gives way to the required big battle scene. And that scene, which is admittedly well-staged and executed, feels old hat after the less choreographed scenes in the previous film. It still thrills but there was a sense of "Okay, let's get this part over with" when I watched it.

DIALOGUE: "Infinity War" is so quotable. So were the first two Avengers films. But other than a couple lines of dialogue here and there, "Endgame's" dialogue is rather run of the mill. Even the one-liners for which the MCU has unfortunately become synonymous are pretty stale and lame this time around. One longs for Joss Whedon's self-indulgent yet witty dialogue writing.

I know this all sounds like I hated the movie. I didn't. It was entertaining. Had it been a stand-alone film I might have enjoyed it more, but it wasn't and it had a lot more to live up to than that. The filmmakers played it far too safe with the writing aspect. Killing off some beloved characters who aren't coming back in real life is not a substitute for risk-taking. And the strength of the overall story arc makes even a misstep like this, much like the stunningly  mediocre "Captain Marvel" still worth watching.

But I have learned to not let near perfection cause me to assume the follow-up will be just as good but in a different way, 'Nuff said.