2 Migraine-inducingly Moronic Posts

 No commentary, no attempts to rationalize. Just gaze, if you dare, on the stupid!

Dispatches from the Coronavirus Days#14- Rain & Marches on Inconvenience

Photo credit: Associated Press

"The highest form of intelligence… is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another's world. It requires profound purpose larger than the self kind of understanding.”  -Bill Bullard

It should be clear to anyone who's been paying attention that individuals such as the ones pictured above have either a total misunderstanding of or a profound lack of regard for the above quote. These are, simply put, people whose time spent reveling in juvenalia never ended and has now manifested itself as something well beyond tragic or even amusing.

The concept of freedom to the protestors of mild inconvenience, the weak-willed sadsacks who shamelessly moan about their First World problems, is one of doing whatever the hell one wants without regard for or responsibility to anyone else. Coupled with good old-fashioned doses of racism, sexism, religious fundamentalism, anti-science rhetoric, and impotent rage, mild inconvenience becomes raison d'etre.

The irony that most of these Michigan marches against safety from a currently incurable virus have been rained out is not lost on me. While not a believer, I am certainly open to the possibility that the God they claim supports every moronic utterance from their misinformed mouths has had enough. I mean, what God worth its long white beard would find so-called "haircut protests" in the midst of a global pandemic worthy? I'll tell ya what kind: One that understands how much it sucks to not be able to get your roots done!

Praise the Lawd and pass the hair dye!

Will these people, assuming they survive all the interacting with potentially infected like-minded types, ever have the presence of mind to look back on their actions and realize how stupidly they were acting? Let's not hold our breath...unless they're walking past us, because those idiots are walking petrie dishes.

On the Western side of Michigan, where I'm convinced there must be some type of radiation leak or brainwashing facility, the virus spread has increased because, surprise-surprise, that's where a lot of the protestors live! Can you imagine if something like this catches on? Protest an unstoppable virus by congregating with people and then going home. Why, with that type of dedication, we could wipe out half of humanity in a matter of years.

But let's not dwell on the people who are upset because they can't get haircuts and eat inside restaurants that are still providing curbside carryout. We're in Idiocracy Phase Two now. Governor Whitmer is slowly reopening the state, a move no doubt brought on by pressures from the militia-minded Northern Michiganders who refused to accept her authority because she's an uppity female Democrat. The places that have remained opened all along, the essential stores, are requiring that their customers wear masks, so naturally these Nobel Laureates have taken that little factoid and turned it into some demented crusade against fear and being told what to do.

Apparently there's no braver way to stand up for one's freedumbs than to square off against a virus (it helps if you believe it's a conspiracy to keep Donald Trump from getting reelected even though Trump himself admits the virus is real) by telling it you ain't a'scared of nothin'. I remember once when a tornado ripped through Michigan, I stood on a rooftop and said, "Bitch, please." You best believe it backed off!

So now these would be Rosa Parks's are attacking store employees for enforcing the "mask it or casket" rule. In the interest of fairness, it isn't just steretypical flag-waving so-called "Rednecks" acting this way either. Take a look at what happened in Flint. But that incident, repugant as it was, seems to be an outlier. Most of the perpetators are white males and females with grossly exaggerrated senses of their importance.

It isn't always resulting in violence, however. Take "Flat-Earther Karen" as an example. Her clearly rehearsed, sad gambit to strike a blow for the unmasked is just one example. Another is this jerk.

What's fascinating about this situation is how these same people, drooling along with Rush Limbaugh and the Fox News pundits, supported the Citizens United Supreme Court Decisin to grant corporatins personhood. That makes them private, sovereign citizens with rights equal to (although any thinking person knows they're more equal than we are) any walking, talking, gun-totin' 'Murican. Private entities can require us to do whatever they deem necessary. They're not infringing on our rights, they're exercising theirs. I would urge all of the protestors to think long and hard about that.

And next time we'll deal with the dual issues of you believing nobody is an expert while accepting anecdotal evidence and how you keep confusing illegality with executive orders. In the meantime, I'd tell you to be safe but you won't, so stay the hell away from those of us who are~

Dispatches From the Coronavirus Days #13- Welcome to the End

Wait till they find out how many executive orders Trump has signed!

It's been ten days since I last posted on this blog and the world has some become an even crazier, more tragic place than it was then. On April 20th, there was still gallows humor to be found in the reality of so-called "Operation Gridlock" protests cropping up around the nation. As it turns out, however, that was really little more than a dry run for a much darker agenda, namely rightwing extremists seizing on any opportunity to play paramilitary dressup and scream at actual accomplished people because of their own feelings of inadequacy.

"Look, Daddy! Am I a man now?"

In Michigan, where the idiocy has reached near godlike proportions, we got to watch our state capitol of Lansing beset upon by these gun-wielding ignoramuses. These Constitutional scholars stood above the legislators and hurled verbal insults and demanded their way, all while not observing social distancing (which was supposed to result in a ticket after one warning) and making sure their proxy penises were visible. 

One is forced to wonder how this exact same scenario would have played out had the protestors been African American, Hispanic or, God forbid, Native American. But it's okay, because everybody knows that only white conservatives respect the "Man in Blue."

OOPS!!!

Well, we can at least assume they have their priorities straight, right? It's not difficult to understand why people who already go through life with massive persecution complexes on their shoulders would feel that way when Facebook removed their event pages. How else do you get the dozens of people needed to embarrass an entire state? Naturally the spin is that Facebook is censoring them when in reality the pages were removed because the organziers weren't encouraging and requiring social distancing.

Governor Whitmer, speaking as I write this, referred to the demonstrations as "disturbing" while citing the Nazi and Confederate flags on display. She also nicely mentioned mental health help for people who may not be handling this pendemic well. The inference was impossible to ignore.

The Derp is Palpable: People Protesting Safety from a Pandemic

What if some self-righteous twit gave a mass protest against supposed governmental overreach and almost nobody came? While sadly that was not the case in Michigan where far too many clueless folk, many of them, it turns out, were from other states, turned out to protest the governor's attempts to safeguard her constitutens from grizzly deaths, the organizers in Maryland weren't so lucky.

Brad Bell, Maryland bureau chief for ABC 7 News

This photo, uploaded to Twitter by ABC News 7 Maryland Bureau Chief Brad Bell tells an interesting non-story. According to Bell, only three people were present two hours into the "event's" planned start time. Obviously three guys can't storm the capitol, not even...

THIS BAD MOFO RIGHT HERE!

Pic obtainred via Raw Story

Let's leave the Maryland protest behind for a moment. Why should we be any different than the majority of residents? Instead, let's return to my homestate of Michigan, where I am reluctant to ascribe the word "succesful" to the absolute stupidity involved in the protest that occured here in the state's capitol. However, in terms of sheer numbers and being heard, it was indeed a success.But who really benefited from it since nothing changed and, as the governor has made clear, isn't going to based on what Salon.com referred to as the "Michigan Manbabies."

Initially, reaction to Governor Whitmer's claims that the Devos family was involved in the protests was critical, prompting her to walk the comments back. She needn't have bothered. It's been verified several times over that the Devos backed Michigan Conservative Coalition was a major player in last week's demonstration. Naturally the group is claiming the Devos Dynasty had nothin' to do with nothin'.

One wonders just what the hell they think they accomplished, however. Despite how they feel about what they did, here's a quick list of what the protest did for them and, sadly, for those of with the sense God gave circus fleas:

• Increased the liklihood of viral spread thanks to many of the protestors violating the rule regarding staying in their vehicles by standing close to one another.
• Provided those of us who oppose their narrow-minded ideology a handy list of businesses to avoid patronizing.
• Showed the entire world that, when it comes down to it, Michigan is no better than Florida when it comes to having an enormous amount of lunatics.
• Did a really good job of preventing ambulances from getting through the sea of protestor vehicles.
• Sounded really, really stupid and uneducated on every news broadcast, especially the woman who yelled, "Hi, Melania!" because obviously the First Lady was watching.

"Operation: Gridlock" protests are springing up all over the nation now because people are dumb and bored. And it's the same sad story in every state: People displaying a woeful ignorance of science who wrongly assume flattening the curve means it's time to immediately resume their old lives, all while imploring governors they despise for various reasons to "trust" them to do the right thing.

Trust them as if they've earned anything except the exact opposite. In less than a month, these entitled brats calling themselves adults started throwing Trump-level tantrums so intense their rectums probably prolapsed. Less than a month. Thanks to a steady diet of Randian propaganda courtesy of irresponsible, witless twerps such as Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly, none of them seem capable of seeing this as a situation we're all in together. The concept of civil responsibility, of sacrifice beyond one's immediate family is as foreign to them as speaking a language other than American English.

Unfortunately, there is no way they're going to suddenly experience an epiphany and conclude that their actions are harmful, inconsiderate, immature and embarrassing. This might feel like a movie but it isn't one. There's no requirement for character growth in the real world. These people are static, in a constant state of stasis. In other words, for want of a better term, they're what the powerful people manipulating them refer to as "useful idiots."

If that seems harsh, let's conclude with the words of the Colorado group currently planning its on Virus Spreaders 2020 event:

“We have won the battle of flattening the curve, and We the People demand freedom immediately to maintain our social, economic, and spiritual strength for the long haul.”

Open Letter to the Participants of "Operation: Gridlock"

Dear Inconsiderate, Uncaring, Self-Absorbed Children,

This video probably makes you feel proud. Actually, anything where you can be seen acting like spoiled fools probably accomplishes that and, thanks to the Internet, you can gain that satisfaction pretty much as often as you would like. And while I recognize the inherent risk of providing yet another, albeit smaller format for your stupidity, the gain from exposing you far outweighs it.

As I wrote two posts prior, yours is a movement filled with ill-informed, selfish, ignorant people who value the economy above the well-being of your fellow human beings. Many of you aren't shy about admitting it, either. Take this prize-winning scholar, for example who,  a woman asked him how he felt about doing exactly what is pictured to the left, referred to her as a "fat lesbian" and the "C word":

I know this person's identity and the city he lives in (I have the non-blacked out version) but unlike him and his ilk, I would not post his identity because I believe in actual Freedom, not "Freedumb." Besides, he's certainly not alone, as there are tons of complete pricks just like him espousing similar if not identical douchenozzlery. Apparently, using ANTIFA as some sort of example to justify your own behavior is favored by your movement as well. Basically, you're using a group of extreme left-wingers you despise and find morally bankrupt as your model of behavior. That just shows those of us who are reasonable how intellectually stunted and hypocritical most of you are.

Of course, it's doesn't help that you have opportunistic bastards like this encouraging your stupidity:

I expect this kind of irresponsible rhetoric from bought-and-paid for lowlives like him, but you're supposed to be real people dealing with real-life situations such as the biggest pandemic since 1918. Oh, right. It's all being exaggerrated and blown way out of proportion so the Governor can use fear to launch a coupe de tat against the occupant of the White House who issued similar stay-at-home edicts. The conspiracy theories that have resulted from this are legendary. Here are a few of the truly idiotic ones that you probably believe:

• All hospitals and their workers are part of a vast concpiracy to inflate the numbers of the dead for...reasons.
• This is really the result of 5G technology.
• Bill Gates wants to create a "digitial vaccine" so he can track our every moment. etc.
• The liberal governors (anybody who isn't a Trump ass-kisser) are working in tandem to overthrow the federal government by using the virus as a springbaord for taking away "our freedoms."
• Covid-19 was created in a lab as a weapon or a form of population control.
• The virus was created by Democrats, presumabley with the cooperation of several other countries,to "stop President Trump" because he's so damn awesome.
• (This one is the best!) It's part of a long-range plan to turn people into cyborgs!

Under normal circumstances, all of those would be prime fodder for lots and lots of amusing quips and you would be easily dismissed as mental furballs. But online culture has emboldended all of you and turned you into more of a unified uber-twit, ready to do battle for the right to not be mildly inconvenienced from mowing lawns and planting gardens in 30-degree temperatures. Boy, you're really showing that commie Whitmer by creating a traffic jam in the capitol!

I'm sure you take great pride in causing ambulances carrying people who might be dying to slow to a crawl because your cars are in the way. I'm sure you take great pleasure in defying social distancing guidelines like rebellious teenagers, at least until you start feeling sick in a couple weeks. I'm not wishing that on you, that's just how the virus works. And you are basically inviting it in by doing everything you can to show that supposed "dicatator" in Lansing. 

If you see her as a tyrant, you must have been seriously pissed off when Trump declared he has "total authority." No? Gee, I wonder why not? You dislike fascism in all its forms, right? Not just when it has lady parts and you didn't vote for it?

Well, leaving aside that unsolvable mystery, I would honestly like to thank you for something. You have done an excellent job of revealing who and, more importantly, what you are. Now we know your names, what many of you do for a living, and what towns and cities you live in. Now we know who won't be getting our business, who we don't want to work for or working for us, and for damn sure who we don't want to live next door to. For that invaluable gift, I am truly grateful.

To the obvious white supremacists among you, the so-called "Proud Boys" who have nothing to be proud of except their false perception that a skin color makes one superior, we see you, too. And despite all the anti-female horseshit that spews forth from the orifices located beneath your noses, despite all the abusive rhetoric you employ against Governor Whitmer, guess what?

So, suck it up, Baby Hitler!

Dispatches From the Coronavirus Days #7

This edition comes to you directly from the armpit of humanity, displaying some of the worst excuses for land mammals to ever trod upon the Earth. When you're done with this Dispatch, any vestiges of faith you had in your fellow hairless bi-peds will be flushed straight down into the sewer of eternity.
So let's begin with a trip into Satan's asscrack, also know as

Nazis and White Supremacists: Despite Donald Trump's assertions that there are "Some good people" amongst this swine, even he would be hardpressed to find anything redeemable about what many of them are encouraging one another to do during a global pandemic. According to the FBI, online chatter from the Master Race seems singularly focused on spreading Covid-19 to law enforcement officers and Jews. They've gone as far as to look into placing their disgusting bodily secretions into spray bottles to use on the aforementioned targets. This is, of course, because they blame the Jewish people for the creation and spread of the virus and law enforcement are seen as their stooges and servants. It's difficult not to hope those who wind up with the virus become too sick to leave their beds. Anything beyond that will remain unspoken...here at least.

Florida Man, Make Way for Florida Woman:  In most cases, we can laugh at the outrageous behavior of the various weirdoes and malcontents who embody the catch-all Florida Man. So perhaps it naturally follows that if Florida Man is mostly a souce of amusement, Floria Woman is probably, well, a bitch and a lowlife in a different way. Enter this slice of scumbag pie. Not only is she hoarding toilet paper by buying up the dollar store's entire stock, but she openly admits to planning on selling it at a markup. She could have said she was buying them to distribute to elderly shut-ins but that sentiment wouldn't jibe with her "Go, Donald Trump!" non-sequitir. It's good that the woman filming her kept her composure but let's not forget that the dollar store let the lowlife buy up their stock in this first place.

Teens Coughing on Produce: It's not just a Disgusting Porn Site Search Term Anymore: Teenagers think everything stupid is funny. They always have. It's part of the developmental process that turns psychopathic assholes into lesser assholes as the hormone surges subside with age. Sadly,  an entire generation has grown up thinking meager slices of so-called online "fame" somehow justify their forays into idiocy. Case in point: Coughing on produce during a global pandemic and then posting a video of it online. The incident to which this post refers occured in Virginia at an undisclosed grocery store where the workers removed the potentally infected produce immediately. According to Virginia police, this is not an isolated incident either. Their Facebook page mentions a disturbing trend around the U.S.

And finally, because no descent into human pond scummery would be complete without at least one politician's amoral conduct,

A Global Pandemic, you say? Get my Stockbroker on the Phone: In the movie Contagion, Laurence Fishburne's CDC doctor character faces losing his job because he warns a friend to get out of her hometown before the pendemic reaches her. It's a moral gray area and something almost anybody would do in real life. Less ethically and morally ambiguous are the responses of some Republican senators and at least one husband of a Democrat who, upon hearing of the impending Covid-19 outbreak, did what any caring, empathetic human being would. They sold their stocks in companies facing devaluing. Senator Richard Burr of North Carolina, head of the Senate Intelligence Committee, sold upwards of $1.7 million. In response to the calls for his immediate resignation, he basically said, "OH, is that why you thought I did it? Nah, I am just a really smart investor!" Everybody else claimed they have investors doing the work for them so they were unaware of the sales.

More to come~



Read Previous Dispatch here.

A Good Place to Find My Work.

If you're boycotting Amazon and don't want to go to my author page, the Internet Speculative Fiction Database is a good albeit not comprehensive place to find and index of quite a bit of my work. I ran across this when Googling a short story title of mine to see whether or not it had been previously published. That's right. I'm such a yuge author that I sometimes forget which stories of mine have been accepted by publishers.

Or maybe I'm just a crappy records keeper. Meh. Six of one, half dozen of the other!

Click here for the link.


And don't forget to order this little trip through funtown!

My Trump Satire is Now Available on Kindle!!!

When I wrote my Trump satire for an anthology looking for Trump satire, I knew I was writing something so specific that is the editors didn't want it, it was unlikely that I would find another group that did. So, I vowed to self-publish the story in that case and here it is for the bargain basement price of 99 cents!

This is the first Kindle publication I've done in about six years. Feel free to leave a review if you do decide to purchase it. As always, all reviews are welcome, whether positive, negative or indifferent. Not that I have the power to remove them anyway!

Click here for the feel-good experience of a lifetime! It's the best feel-good experience. You've never seen a better one, I can tell you. Everybody loves it. It's tremendous!

It's Not Always About Getting Published

I recently queried an editor who is compiling an anthology of alternative theology stories. Without getting too deeply into what that means, suffice to say I had a feeling my previously published story about the White Republican Jesus confronting the actual historical Jesus while mindless Americans cheered him on might be what they were looking for. Unfortunately, I sent the query after the submission acceptance period had closed. Here is the thread, starting with my letter (His are in quotes):

I was wondering if you are accepting reprints for this anthology? I have one in which Evangelical Jesus and Actual Jesus have a war words in the street. it was originally published in a for-charity anthology I edited.

-Christopher Nadeau

"We have closed it, but I have a practice of reading late submissions and if they knock my socks off I say screw it if schedule allows and include them.  I have the joy of writing the checks and so I get to make those decisions.  Send it and I’ll read it."

Thanks! Whether you say yes or no to this one, you just made the list of my top five favorite editors with that reply!

Story attached.

"I like this very much.  I’ll know in the next thirty days if I’ve got any room, I have two other stories in the same space.  If room opens up, depending on what drops out, I’ll let you know. 

That isn’t an acceptance or rejection, but it is definitely worthy of the anthology, if room presents itself."

I told him I understood and thanked him; sometimes just knowing that someone would print your story if they were able can be satisfying in its own right.

"The Handmaid's Tale"- The Struggle was Real!

When I was much younger, my mother was my source for literature. She was my internet, albeit a far more learned and well-read source than most of the ones I encounter virtually. She introduced me to science fiction, Stephen King and Ray Bradbury. And even when my own tastes formed and I started branching away from what I considered her safer, more by-the-numbers interests, I never stopped respecting her opinions, as they were informed and well-expressed. I have, in fact, tried to live my life in a similar fashion.

So when I finally decided to give Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale" a chance, I found myself struggling with that respect in the worst sort of post-mortem way.

"What the hell, Mom?" I said to her memory. "Were you drunk?"

Realizing that was a horrible thing to ask a diabetic even if she's no longer among the living, I retracted that question and instead said, "Dude, seriously?" because nothing thrilled my mother more than being addressed as "Dude."

In fact, she loved it so much she appeared in my family room seconds after I said it.

"What's your problem?" she said.

"Nice to see you, too." I held up the copy of "The Handmaid's Tale" I'd borrowed from work and shook it in her direction. "But since you asked, this is my problem. Excuse my Swahili, but what the hell were you thinking?"

"You didn't care for it, I presume?" My mother's eyebrows were always thin and fine, yet somehow they became darker and bushier when she raised them in disdain.

"You presume correctly, Doctor Nadeau. You talked this book up throughout my teen years, made me think it was an untouchable, brilliant masterpiece of social commentary, and--"

"And?"

"And I'd like to know if you were still in the process of getting your meds adjusted at the time."

She crossed her arms and sighed. "You know damn well I never took anything except Insulin and pain meds later on in life."

Nodding, I said, "Which brings us to the real issue, then. I mean, I know we disagreed on matters of taste when I got older. You kind've settled into a comfort zone, most likely due to your health issues and all."

She shrugged. "Probably a safe assessment. I always said you should have gone into psycho-analysis."

"One shrink in the family was enough. But my point is, setting aside the clearly intriguing concept, this is one of the dullest books I've read in years."

"All right." She uncrossed her arms and took a seat across from me. "Why?"

I sat as well. "For starters, the writing is bland and self-conscious."

"How much of it did you actually read?"

"I got through the first two chapters."

A heavy sigh. "Christopher,is it possible you'd like it more if you stuck with it?"

"Yes. It's also possible I could learn to like electrocution if I keep my feet dunked in water."

At this point, her image shimmered as if someone had flicked the lights off and on. I asked her if she was okay and she smiled. "What else didn't you like about it?"

I went into greater detail then. I told her how even though it accomplished the requisite task of establishing its universe early on, it never felt genuine. It felt, in fact, like a preachy commentary piee with a thinly disguised parable as its artful dodge. I concluded with the fact that the entire concept is wrapped in a cozy cocoon of white middle class feminism that presumes only gender divides stand between people and freedom.

"Okay, fair enough," she said. "But are you sure it's the book you're upset about or is it the fact that you're disappointed in my praise of it?"

I dropped the book onto the floor and stomped on it twice. "The book."

She grinned, telling me I hadn't lost my flair for the dramatic. "It's okay that you didn't care for it. If I taught you nothing else, I hope it was to develop your own tastes and be able to defend them. You've done that. So, why am I here?"

"Isn't it obvious? It's been years since I've had the opportunity to berate you. I've missed it."

She smiled that smile I can only recall in spontaneous memories or maybe sometimes find in an old photograph and said, "I miss you, too."

I watched her shimmer again, this time fading a bit. Our time was nearly up, then. "I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too, sweetie."

"Book still sucked, though."

And as she faded, I'm not entirely sure, but I think she flipped me off~

The Quote That Perfectly Explains my Disdain for Fandom.

 "There was once a false sense that fandom was the place where all of those things were celebrated: Diversity, the fight against bullies of all types, and the front line of those supporting progress and change. Apparently, that was a smokescreen that the Internet has effectively wiped away."

-David Wilson, Writer and Illustrator

Quote of the Week

"CHELSEA CLINTON has degrees from Stanford, Oxford, Columbia and NYU AND she lived in the White House for 8 years AND is the daughter of the former U.S. President, and U.S. Senator and Secretary of State... Ivanka is a really good shopper ..."

-From a comment on a Yahoo! article

Literary Ignorance at its Finest.

Quote of (next?) Week

"Why would a higher ed institution invite a commencement speaker who is an undereducated religious fanatic, and who's family's wealth was made in a pyramid marketing scheme?"

                                                                            -Dean Goddard, Facebook Commenter

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“So at the end of that monologue I had a few choice insults for the president in return. I don’t regret that. He, I believe, can take care of himself. I have jokes; he has the launch codes. So it’s a fair fight.”

                                                                 -Stephen Colbert

How To Spot Fascism Before It’s Too Late

Artist Maia Kobabe has created a thought-provoking piece here.

A Brief Study in Hypocrisy

To borrow from another president whose disgraces have been eclipsed by the current POTUS, let me be perfectly clear: I do not advocate even the mention of assassinating a President of the United States or, for that matter, a foreign head of state. The founders of this country, intensely flawed though they were, possessed enough wisdom to establish a system of checks and balances, up to and including the ability to legally remove a sitting president or, at the very least, vote his or her ass out in four years.

So, the witless attempt at political commentary by Snoop gets no free pass from me. However, the meme below is 100% correct in its assessment of the hypocrisy from the Right regarding celebrities (or whatever the hell Ted Nugent is these days) openly advocating for the killing of a President of these here United States:

 Philosophical consistency is going the way of political satire.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

“You don’t tell anybody to shut up!You work for us!”

-A Constituent in Frost, Texas in response to Rep. Joe Barton (R)

The Arrogance of Imbeciles (1 of an ongoing series)

It's become a familiar story: Some smug jackoff shows up on a news article trying to be witty while insulting everyone who disagrees in a vain attempt to whine about political correctness. Then when several people call him on his BS, he tries to say he was being sarcastic but apparently he's too high level for their tiny brains.
 I decided to take a different approach this time. I decided to point out that perhaps he isn't good at sarcasm. Naturally he fell back on the everything is subjective argument.  I tried to help him understand that there are established criteria for fiction writing amd comedy despite whether or not someone"likes it."

His response? "The only criteria for fiction is that it be fiction."

My reply:   "I don't know which matchbox correspondence school you attended but they clearly only taught you that "it's fiction long as they's makin' stuff up."
I then told him before trying to understand the craft of fiction, he should start by learning the difference between comedy and sarcasm.

Okay. I looked at his Facebook page and added, "typical Trumper. Knows little about alot but passes himself off as an unaffected genius."

When I went back on Facebook a bit later I noticed all the likes etc. were gone. He ran. They usually do, especially when you point out they're showing their ignorance of a field the other person practices.

Sorry, man. Sarcasm is a high level art that only some of us can practice well. Good riddance.

On Genre Ignorance & Politics

Trigger Warning:
The following post contains a bit of name-calling and a judgmental, possibly even self-righteous tone.

There’s a reason most writers of speculative fiction, i.e. science fiction, fantasy, horror and magical realism, shudder when we hear some overpaid media pinhead use a clueless expression such as, “It’s like something out of science fiction.” It’s not because there aren’t situations that might actually call for such a dubious phrase, however. It’s because the majority of the time, it’s being used stupidly to make a point better made by just discussing the issue at hand.

The most recent example of this started with an idiot being allowed to speak for an even bigger idiot. That first idiot is Kellyanne Conway, Counselor to the *urp* President of the United States. I’m pretty sure you’ve already guessed the identity of the bigger idiot. And unless you’ve been on a self-imposed media blackout the scale of which would be truly impressive as well as enviable, you are probably aware of Conway’s insistence on the existence of “alternative facts.”

Her unfortunate and no doubt intentional phrasing has entered the lexicon in a big and probably unintended way.  Instead of being a viable concept, it’s become a running gag on social media the likes of which we haven’t seen since, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” Naturally, not every piece of commentary has been satiricial, and that brings me right back to where this whole thing started: This well-intentioned but ultimately clueless letter comparing science fiction to alternative facts.

 

The letter's author, one Gordon Merseth of Portland, Oregon, seems to be making a case for science fiction and the sub-genre alternate history as being akin to the altered reality the Trump administration seems hell-bent on fostering on the American public. While that attempt might seem to work on the surface, it's a specious comparison rooted in genre ignorance not unlike the writing of a certain English school principal I wrote about last year. In the minds of non-fans and even those who have little appreciation for science fiction, it is little more than a weird distortion of concrete reality bereft of rules and somehow disingenuous as a literary form.

 

Fortunately, no less than one of the greatest living science fiction authors of all time, Ursuala K Le Guin,  took Mr. Merseth to task for his lack of a foundation in the genre in a letter to his letter. In it, she wrote:

 

 The comparison won't work.  We fiction writers make up stuff. Some of it clearly impossible, some of it realistic, but none of it real - all invented, imagined --  and we call it fiction because it isn't fact. We may call some of it "alternative history" or "an alternate universe," but make absolutely no pretense that our fictions are "alternative facts."

 Even if I didn't know any better, I'd side with a woman the Library of Congress named a Living Legend because of her outstanding contributions to the world of English Literature.

I understand the desire to describe the Trump administration's blatant attempts to gaslight as many Americans as possible in terms that clearly and intelligently do so. But when someone tries to do that using concepts and forms of expression of which they are ignorant or simply misinformed, it becomes the focus rather than the original intended subject.