Dispatches from the Coronavirus Days #4

Look to the Skies: Like any major event, Covid-19 has its share of associated conspiracy theories but my favorite is the one I saw on a UFOs and aliens Facebook page. Who am I kidding? 90% of them came from that page, but this one is definitely the best: Apparently the powers-that-be don't want us outside looking up when the UFOs arrive and start landing! And if it fails under mild scrutiny because the theorist neglected to account for the fact that we've been told it's actually encouraged to go outside? Screw it! The theory kicks ass!

Spend Big Money at Menards: Wisconsin-based retailer Menards was recently sent a cease & desist letter by the Michigan Attorney State General for price gouging. Specifically they rasied prices on cleaning products and protective masks. A Facebook friend claimed they knew someone who paid seven dollars for a small bottle of Lysol airspray. They were given ten days to reply. Ten days. Imagine all the gouge they can still pull off in that time before deciding to comply. Hopefully, people will stop going there until this has been resolved.

Leave the Ghostlight On When you Tweet: Governor Whitmer's response to Covid-19 has been commendable. Only a fool would say otherwise. Enter President Donald Trump, whose weird, out-of-nowhere Tweet accused her of not doing enough and ended with him claiming he and his administration were basically lighting s fire under her ass. It was classic "The Donald," a bait and switch designed to absolve him of all wrongdoing due to his own lackluster response and paint the female Democrat as incompetent. It's doubtful anyone who wasn't already willing to believe him is fooled.

If You're Healthy and you know it, Risk Exposure: California Republican Senator Devin Nunes is currently facing a rather severe PR nightmare based on irresponsible comments he made regarding what people should be doing during the pandemic. Basically, he told people if they're healthy, they should frequent restaurants so as not to "hurt the working people" in 'Murica. That was, of course, prior to the mandatory shut-downs of all the eateries and just about every other damn thing. He later tried to, as they say these days, walk back his comments when talking to Sean Hannity, a.k.a. Trump's rectal thermometer. But even Trump was not saying this because for once, he gets it and this bug-eyed wackjob does not. It's pretty bad when CNN tries to save your hash and you still shoot yourself in the leg.

America's Wang Still Doin' it's Thang: It turns out Homer Simpson was right after all; Florida really is America's wang! For proof of that wang status, look no further than this link. Invincible idiots who don't seem to care about being carriers for the virus decided to party their asses off thanks to a bar that defied the statewide order to shut the hell down. Technically, they were supposed to reduce capacity to 50% up until 11:00 pm but the pics clearly show they didn't allow a bunch of silly medical precautions to diminish their drunken good time.

All Hail the Plastic Pastor!: Do you have a moment for me to tell you about the Good News? We no longer need to fear the ramifications of the idiots in Florida congregating in large numbers because Donald Trump's "spiritual advisor" has a fix-it. Asking her followers to send "seed money" to her for protection against plague and pestilence, Pastor Paula White is billing her ministry as a hospital to the sick. Apparently the hospitals to healthy people weren't included. Adherents to the Prosperity Gospel will likely find her entreaties appealing since they view faith as an investment that comes with a return. It's a religion that deserves to be renamed "Americanism" and she is currently one of its major figures. No wonder a shameless self-promoter like Trump likes her so much. Well, that and her blond hair, adoration of him and unmoving plastic face.

All the World's a (Viral) Stage: As mentioned above, conspiracy theories abound in the wake of the Covid-19 outbreak and people we know in real life are not immune (see what I did there?) to their odd allure. One in particular comes from "Author Unknown," and ain't that always the case? Unknown goes into great detail about how a very real viral outbreak is no big deal, how the media is causing mass panic and how this is all just a test run for socialism. He also draws ludicrous parrallels to cancer and car accidents to demonstrate how other things kill more people. This is in spite of a president who basically poops capitalism every time he walks taking it all very seriously and ordering the closing of establishments and all the rest of the normal responses to an untreatable virus. Someone I know posted this particular theory on their Facebook page. Objectively speaking, it is an effective piece of writing. It pushes all the right buttons, gets its point across and details exactly what it sets out to. It's also incredibly irresponsible because it can inspire others of a similar mentality to not take proper precautions. Pointing that out resulted in me being "melodramatic" because a post isn't going to kill anyone.

But Maybe a Post Can Save People: This one should speak for itself so I'll not editorialize.

More to Come~

Read Dispatch #3 Here!

Hypocrisy Under the Microscope: Bob Dutko

As I was driving in to work this afternoon, I decided to inflict torture upon myself by letting the radio's scan feature land on 103.5 FM WMUZ, a local Christian station. That time of day during the week is dedicated to the Bob Dutko Show, a politically oriented program designed to give the so-called Christian perspective on the issues of the day. Mostly he just calls anyone he labels as liberals hypocrites and sings Donald Trump's praises no matter what he has done or said or, for that matter, not done or said.

In his own way, Dutko is a bigger mouthpiece than Sean Hannity which is no small feat. And this wasn't my first time hearing or even enduring Dutko's diatribes (that would make a much better name for his show, I think) so I am well-acquainted with his approach. He basically delivers the conservative talking points of the day in a nauseatingly matter-of-fact-we're-just-folks-talkin' tone that appeals to an audience that despises formal speech from so-called elitists.

I have never felt the need to write about him until today.

Dutko was in rare form today. With a sob in his voice that sounded like it belonged to a grieving mother whose child was slain on the fields of battle, he went on and on about three "beloved children's' classics" that were being released in China sans all references to Christianity. That's right. His mighty heart was breaking over a Communist country that has outlawed all religion removing references to religion in foreign literature. And as if this wasn't bone-chillingly idiotic enough, he launched into a rant about the New Testament being (GASP!) rewritten to more readily reflect Chinese culture.

I can certainly understand his outrage; this has never happened before...except when it was translated into Greek...oh, and Latin...and English, French, German...you get the idea. This is a brand new thing!

Dutko's biggest butthurt was the fact that they are including Buddhist teachings in the New Testament. I won't even get into how much of Jesus' teachings sound suspiciously like they were ripped out of Buddha's mouth. What prompted this post was the arrogance from which Dutko operates, where he can actually express outrage over the supposed co-opting of his belief system when things like this exist.

Guess what? If there can be no Bible with Chinese cultural leanings, there can also be no Karate with Christian dogma planted inside it like a weed. You don't get to rip off another culture's identity, re-brand it with the Jesus seal, and then act like somebody else doing the opposite is a monster. That's not how reality works. Then again, if his listeners understand reality, they wouldn't be his listeners.

Well, I'm glad we settled that one!