Thursday, June 30, 2011

A lil' Persistence.

Faithful readers of this blog and my work might remember a little short story called "Always Say Treat" which was first read by the host of Suspense Radio for its first Halloween special. I then sent it to The Horror Zine after reviewing their latest short story collection for Suspense Magazine. After it was accepted, Horror Zine editor Jeani Rector and I sort of became email buds. When she again started accepting submissions, I sent her a short story called "Super Powers," which was inspired by a story she'd written about a little girl hiding form her abusive father. Mine was about a little BOY, so take that, plagiarism police!

Anyway, she rejected it. Not a huge deal but somehow in the process we started an email conservation about online flaming wars. She'd never heard of that happy little phenomenon, which prompted me to say, "Really? In that case, I'm gonna write me up a scary story about it that'll know your socks off!"

Okay, I wasn't that cocky but the concept intrigued her and so I set about writing what would become one of the more difficult attempts I've ever made (at least since the last one). But I couldn't let her or myself down. I had to flesh out this idea until it resembled something original and interesting, two traits Jeani requires for the stories she accepts. Fortunately, I was embroiled in a flaming war at the time, so it turned out to be easier than it should have been.

In the meantime, Jeanni found herself swamped with requests form indie filmmakers to review their movies. I volunteered to help her with that as well. When I finally completed the first draft of what would eventually become "Flame101," I wasn't sure it worked. I went back and added more foreshadowing, cut out scenes that didn't pay off, and tightened the narrative as much as I could. The idea, that evil forces use human arrogance as a method of domination, is one that runs throughout much of my work, so this take on it had to be different, less obvious.

Because of the fact that she's been so swamped, it took her a while to respond to the submission, leaving me to wonder just how much I'd failed to deliver. Then I received the following email:

Hi Chris, sorry it has taken me so long to get to this.
I read Flame and I like it very much. It is highly original and inventive. You are able to create just the right pace of tension and intrigue.
Is this story still available? If so, would you be willing to work with me on some edits? Probably not a lot, but some. Let me know. If so, I can schedule you for November 2011. Sheesh, I am going to have to close submissions pretty soon for a while. I am glad you made it before I do.

To which I replied:

That story was written exclusively for you (and I'm not sucking up, I'm serious). I am always open to edits. I ain't be one of them peoples.


We can joke around like that, which is one of the reasons she's swiftly becoming my favorite person in the field. I'll post the link to the story when it's published, but that isn't really the point of this post. This is about the persistence required to get your work accepted. It's about not assuming that, just because one story was accepted, the next one is a shoe-in.

A lil' persistence pays off. Maybe not always, but in the meantime you'll get to watch movies you would never see whether you want to or not and then have to sit down and avoid harshness and negativity when writing a review.

Hey, wait a minute!


Monday, June 27, 2011

Positive Review.

Every so often, I Google myself. Then I get all shame-based and repent. Once I'm finished doing that, I look for anything online mentioning me I didn't know about. In this case, my short story, "Finally, the Source," which appears in the Leather, Denim & Silver: Legends of the Monster Hunter anthology, received a special mention on the HorrorTalk site review section.

Here's an excerpt from my new friend reviewer Steve Pattee's assessment of the tale:

Finally, The Source barely edges out the tales as my favorite in The Monster Hunters section, if only for its fantastic 'oh shit, did you just go there?!' ending.

You can read the entire review by clicking here.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Is it Me?

Or does Prince Wlliam (below)

Look like the lost Hardly Boy from South Park???

Monday, June 20, 2011

Where You Can Purchase My Digital Stories.

I've been pretty slack regarding my "promo-ho" duties this month, so here's my half-arsed attempt to remedy that situation. The following is a list of my work that is available via digital media, primarily Amazon Kindle:

"The Sign-Maker," possibly my bestselling short story about a grieving son who blames a doctor for his mother death and the vengeance he plans to get.

"Destiny & Home-Made Apple Pie," my second-bestselling short novel about a woman in the Great Depression faced with a choice that might just guide human destiny for decades to come.

"From the Bridge & Seven Other Short Stories," my first-ever short story collection featuring an eclectic mix of stories about all sorts of things ranging from the real to the imagined. This collection is also available as PDF download for non-e-reader types like myself here.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Best Titles of Adult Movies.

I'm sorry if anyone is offended by this post (okay, not really. get over yourselves if you are) but this is hilarious to me. There's almost nothing "adult" about this but these are the funniest porno titles. Well, at least some of them. I sincerely believe there should be a literary award given out to the people who come up with this stuff!

A Beautiful Behind
Womb Raider
Schindler's Fist
Shaving Ryan's Privates
Glad he ate her
Driving Into Miss Daisy
Riding Miss Daisy
Batman in Robin
Blowjob Impossible
Dyke Hard
Star Whores
Sorest Rump
Edward Penishands
Gangbangs of New York
On Golden Blonde
How Stella Got Her Tube Packed
In Diana Jones and the Temple Poon
Saturday Night Beaver
Sick Degrees of Penetration
Legally Boned
Throbin Hood (Prince of Beaves)
When Harry Ate Sally
Romancing The Bone
Lord Of The G-Strings
White Men Can't Hump
Ocean's 11 inches
American Booty
Pulp Friction
Swollow Hal
Breast Side Story
Blown in 60 Seconds
Buffy The Vampire Layer
Buttman and Throbbin'
Sperms of Enderarment
School of Cock
Free My Willy

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

*Publishing Update*

My first-ever short story collection "From the Bridge & Seven Other Short Stories" is no longer just available through Amazon Kindle. You can now download it as an e-book pdf with a 5% discount!

Click here.

Monday, June 13, 2011

A Positive Editorial Experience.

They happen. A lot. So please don't get the idea that the previous post was indicative of the average because it is not. Below is my reply to an editor who sent a list of suggested changes he wanted to see prior to publication and his oh-so-professional response:

Dear (Editor),
Enclosed is my revised version of "The Party." You will find I followed nearly all of your suggestions as I found them excellent and useful. Below you will find my bio and I have also enclosed a picture. I agree to the terms as outlined in the contract and my preferred method of payment is Paypal.

Christopher Nadeau is the author of "Dreamers at Infinity's Core" through COM Publishing as well as short stories in The Horror Zine, Sci-Fi Short Story Magazine, the horror anthologies 'Saturday Evening Ghost' and 'Leather, Denim & Silver', “Shadows Within Shadows,” and several more slated for 2011 release. He was interviewed on Suspense Radio’s part up and coming authors program and collaborated on two “machinima” films with UK animator Celestial Elf called “The Gift,” and 'The Deerhunter's Tale,” which can be viewed on YoutTube.

An active member of the Great Lakes Association of Horror Writers, Chris Resides in Southeastern Michigan.

Thank you.

I'm glad you found the suggestions helpful. It's a great story, very different from what we usually take. Another flavor in the swirl. Thanks for sending your bio, pic, and payment option.

Glad to have you aboard.

See the difference? 'Nuff said~

Friday, June 10, 2011

Baffling Editorial Decisions

For the record, I am not of the mindset that says a writer should never openly question an editor or challenge his/her reason(s) for rejecting a manuscript. That doesn't mean using rude or harsh language but as with any other human being, the decisions are not always respectable. For instance, when someone rejects your work with the terse response, "We don't do fan-fic" for a story that is not even remotely fan fiction, I feel justified in responding.

Do I expect a reply?

Did God have to explain himself to the residents of Sodom & Gomorrah?

Here's what I wrote:

I'm confused by the response. I don't do fan-fic either. No offense, but that seems a tad dismissive. Thanks for the feedback.


Possibly my 2nd Favorite Celestial Elf production.

Naturally, my favorite is the Bigfoot sequel but this one is brilliant.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Monday, June 6, 2011

Quote O' The Day

"Being from the south, I just wonder if all Alaskans talk the way Sarah does? Incomplete sentences, sentences that go on with lots of pauses, rambling thoughts, seemingly unconnected phrases. I can't figure out what she's trying to say or if she really has a point! If every statement she makes, has to be interpreted by those who "understand" her, no one would ever know what she means..."
-From a Yahoo! comment

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Okay, Stephen King, you's my boy, but...

The last book Stephen King recommend suffered from an overwhelming amount of soccer-mom induced suckage. But this one looks like it will redeem the master if that excerpt is any indication!