CONGRATULATIONS TO THE HORROR ZINE

The Horror Zine has once again won several categories in the Critters annual poll. I am proud to have had my work published by them more than once over the years and look forward to working with them in the near future. 

To Hell with Preciousness

 

The Evil Gatekeeper 

A message for all you would-be fiction writers out there who think your words are too precious to alter: Be prepared to rewrite or be prepared to self-publish. It's that simple. Don't wanna work with the so-called "Gatekeepers" who don't "get" you or who you believe want to squash your vast talent? Cool. Keep banging away on those keyboards and tablets and maybe, just maybe, you will find one or two people willing to publish your work as-is every single time. You might even hit the Big Time that way, except you most likely won't.

Writing for an audience doesn't mean whatever you write is what the audience should accept. While I'm no fan of writing specifically for other people, I am aware that other people are the ultimate goal for anyone sending their work out for consideration. Do you think singers only want to hear themselves in the shower? Of course not. And any singer who wants to leave that shower and be heard isn't going to tell everyone they audition for how stupid they are and how they don't recognize talent when they hear it.

I'm sure you can find a story or two to "prove me wrong" as if such an infinitesimal number proves anything.

Ultimately, writing is a craft. Crafts involve being scrutinized and going back to the drawing board. I'm sorry if your parents told you everything you wrote was brilliant and refused to stifle your imagination when you were out in public and should have been in the moment. Participation trophies are awesome, but they don't mean much more than, "I showed up and failed to distinguish myself." Translating that mentality to submitting fiction will not get you far.

Recently, I submitted a short story to a publisher who wrote back telling me they enjoyed the story but felt it dragged in the beginning and needed some rewriting to fit better with the types of stories they publish. Well, I don't mind telling you I was offended as all hell! I fired up the old PC and let loose with a string of invective that would make John McEnroe blush! I told this gatekeeper they were a fool with limited vision who didn't understand the brilliance they had been handed. How dare you, I wrote, tell me my story needs work? That's just an opinion! You are not worthy of my time or my very stable genius.

I don't mind telling you all of that because it's absolute bullshit. I would never and have never done that.

Have I encountered publishers and editors I determined were not very intelligent based on the feedback they provided? Of course. This field is like any other. Not everybody deserves their job. But I kept my mouth shut and moved on to someone else. That's how it works. Anything else is a temper tantrum.

So, yes. I am rewriting the story for this publication. Within the context of this publication's esthetic, the feedback is spot-on. There's a reason an editor would write the following, "You are a very talented writer and I have published you many times because of that. Would you be willing to rewrite your story to streamline it and pick up the pace?"

I earned that by taking feedback and applying it. Preciousness gets you nowhere except the back of the bitter barn.

That's my feedback. Take it for it's worth or condemn me for misunderstanding your stunning brilliance. it's up to you.

Editorial Praise

 "Well, Christopher, you did it again. Your story is brilliant. I absolutely love it. Your ending took even me by surprise, and that is hard to achieve.

You also write professionally, so the edits are minimal....

Let me know if you approve the edits. Some day I will do another "Best of The Horror Zine" antho and this story will definitely be included.

See attached. Let me know if you approve the edits.

Thanks,

Jeani Rector, Editor"

"Looks great! Thanks so much for the kind words!"

"Wonderful. You know, you really can write. I'll be in touch."

Told'ja I used to do Stuff!

 

When The Darkness Internal was a Thing

 With all traces of the once bi-monthly magazine I used to edit slowly vanishing from the inter-webbings ether, it's gratifying to still find a link that hasn't. 

Click here for proof that the Darkness Internal did indeed at one time exist.

The above link is from when D.I. was a special edition, as evidenced by the description below:

Voluted Tales is currently reading for its first special edition, entitled “The Darkness Internal” which is hosted by guest editor Christopher Nadeau. Christopher is looking for the following kinds of submissions

“The Darkness Internal”- Looking for stories that are outside the norm. They can be horror, dark fantasy, science fiction or even mainstream lit as long they meet the following criteria: Tales of inner darkness. Think Kafka or Phillip K Dick or any U.S. Congressional hearing. Stories should focus on an internal struggle or occurrence. Not looking for genre staples such as vampires, werewolves, and especially not zombies. More interested in tales of torment and struggle as defined by the classic “Man Versus Himself” approach to writing. Still, if you can find a fresh and exciting way to tell the story following the criteria and using those fabled beings, knock us out!

Writing for the Interwebs: The Perfect Way to Watch your Work Disappear Forever

 Readers of this blog know I have published both fiction and non-fiction, much of the latter online. There is an accepted axiom in today's culture that "the internet is forever" but that's only true if some third party decides to take a screenshot of your work. At least, in some cases. Sometimes that person is me, but more often than not, I don't bother and my work vanishes into the ether from whence it came.

I first realized the internet was not forever when a website I'd written dozens of articles for suddenly decided to shut down and gave all of is "content generators" thirty days to grab our shit and go. In the virtual world, that equates to finding ways to screenshot all of your work before it is unceremoniously wiped from all existence.

That's not to say that print is forever, but I've reached the conclusion that there is more of a likelihood that some physical copy of one's work will still be out there somewhere. 

What prompted this, you ask? Lately I've been listening to an audiobook about Robin Williams' life and tragic demise. When he died, I was writing for the now defunct The Movie Network, whose editors encouraged every single writer to flood them with Williams articles. It was that rare moment when repetition was desired and most of us rose to the challenge. And it was a challenge.

Having anticipated that every other writer working for the site would come up with some "What Robin Williams meant to me" article, I decided to watch the movie everyone was relating to his apparent suicide, "Father of the Year." I used my review of the film (Spoiler alert: I thought it was brilliant!) as a way of talking about my own father, whose adoration of Williams had been a strong influence on my childhood. I realized rather quickly that losing Robin Williams felt like losing my dad all over again, a mixed, jumbled torrent of conflicting emotions and uncertainties once more manifesting themselves in my mind. I was older now and better equipped to handle it, but it was no less significant.

I poured everything I had into that piece and while I was paid for it, I wrote it because I had no choice. These were thoughts and feelings I had to express or risk going mad(der). I considered it one of the better things I wrote for them, and I wrote over 200 articles for them in a six month period. Don't worry. I was well-compensated. I know you were worried. But more importantly, I was pleased enough with my body of work with them, the film reviews in particular, to guide readers to them even after several of us were unceremoniously and without warning, no longer needed.

The articles remained up for years and I suppose I gave into a false sense of eternity. How easily that sense is dispelled, however, for it is gone, gone, gone. Not just the article, mind you. The website itself. Gone as if it has never existed. I don't even have an original copy of the review; my fault entirely. I am often rather lazy when it comes to my non-fiction. 

My fiction has fared better in the longevity department, but it was particularly painful when the entire website that supported one of my high water marks in the writing world vanished seemingly forever. Voluted Tales, which published six issues of my beloved "The Darkness Internal" is, alas, no more. Most of the issues featured the works of other authors but I wrote an editorial for every issue. I also conducted all of the author interviews...HEY! More lost non-fiction! See how that works?

It hurts to know so much of my work will never be read again. That doesn't mean I won't continue to have stuff published online, however. There really isn't much of a choice to be had these days, but I will hopefully be a bit smarter about preserving my work in the future.

Things That Make Me Wonder Why I Even Bother...

Here it is, the dumbest thing I've seen since the last dumbest thing!

And in case you're thinking that's somebody's satirical design, there is an actual book by an actual author that you can order by clicking here.

I don't usually single out what I consider bad ideas but some people take the "write what you know" axiom too far! But of course readers with lower levels of expectation will flock to these types of gimmicky tales, especially if they feel it represents a group that has not been acknowledged in the genre...such as soccer moms. An this ain't your average, Karen-haircut-sportin', manager-demanding, throw a fit when Starbucks is out of her favorite drink soccer mom. This one is straight out of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer mold.

It's one of those ideas I'll readily admit having had at least once before ultimately dismissing it as derivative and lacking in the potential for genuine drama. But that's me. We've already established that I am unnecessarily hard on myself when it comes to striving for originality and avoiding tropes. Obviously I don't always succeed, but when something is so ludicrously on the nose, it gets discarded quickly and tossed in the embarrassment bin with its poorly wrought brethren. However, ideas are but one component of the fiction-creating process. What about the writing?

Fortunately, there is a sample provided of "Blackrose" prose. I read most of chapter one. It certainly isn't terrible, although the dialogue's sole purpose seems to be to give us all the backstory that would be better provided in descriptive paragraphs interspersed with dialogue. Of course, I'm looking through the eyes of a writer and editor, not an escape seeking soccer mom who simply wants easily understood adventure. And that is the audience here.

So, even though I think it's a dumb idea and am unimpressed with its execution, the book has thirteen positive reviews...all written by women who look like they could be the lead character, but still. She has successfully tapped into a demographic that likes what she's doing. If you're writing specifically for entertainment, what more could you hope for?

A better idea and a more demanding readership, that's what.

Oy, Such a Compliment That Was!

Although I mentioned it on Facebook, I refrained from mentioning specifics about my latest short story acceptance here because this is where I make my "official announcements" and I had not yet sent in my signed contract.  There's also the little matter of not wanting to jinx anything because, to be blunt, it's been a while since I've had anything accepted. However, this hasn't been a total surprise since, as I advised my Facebook friends, I tend to have better luck in the Fall.

I did make a brief mention of the story's acceptance in my post from September 28th post so maybe consider this the sequel to that award-winning piece of quasi-journalistic excellence. The story is titled, "Gorgon Not Forgotten" (hee-hee get it?) and it was accepted by Left Hand Publishing. Once I sent in my signed contract, biography and picture (ugh!) they replied with the suggested edits.

There were hardly any.

Not to brag, but the publisher of my first novel used to say I was the easiest person to edit because my first drafts tended to read like final ones. That didn't mean changes weren't necessary or that there was no room for improvement. It just meant my narrative structure was relatively strong and the requisite flow and plot progression weren't in need of repair. This may be telling stories out of school as they used to say but I don't normally start writing until I either have a complete vision in my head or, when I don't have one, I stop and start a lot rather than simply rushing through a first draft. That's an unusual technique and not one I necessarily recommend to others. The conventional wisdom is to not do what I do but I have found that I am less likely to finish the work if I don't push myself to make it final draft worthy the first time.

I am not, repeat not, arrogant enough to believe a prospective editor will see it that way. I am also one of the easiest people to request rewrites and edits from. Every word is not precious and sometimes one must indeed kill their darlings if they want to see one's work in print. If you don't agree, don't accept the offer.

When I opened the returned document containing my story and its suggested edits, I saw the following note in the right-hand corner:

"Hi Christopher. Excellent story and a pristine manuscript. As your story was being reviewed by the scorers, it was noted a couple of times that by changing just a few words, you could keep the progeny genderless. As you read through your manuscript again, try to forget whether it’s a he or a she. You’ll see how it adds another layer to your piece.
If you do not like that idea, just “reject” the couple of changes that we made.Thank you for a great read. Nice working with you on this project."

The note was followed by a handful of suggested grammatical changes. Personal feedback is rare enough in this field and any is appreciated, even if it's not positive. To receive positive feedback thanking me? That's yuge! Not to mention the amount of compliments contained in that one paragraph. Knowing that more than one person read it and found enough merit to agree it was publishable makes any semblance of impostor syndrome vanish like flatulence in a summer breeze.

More on that actual publication date when I know more on the actual...publication...you know what I mean!

The Best Thing I've Read from an Anthology's Guidelines Possibly Ever.

I don't usually name publications that haven't accepted my work or to whom I have not as of yet submitted my work but these people deserve a mention. I'm not a podcast person so they weren't even on my radar until I saw them in my Horror Tree email along with several other publishers accepting fiction.

Calling themselves "We Will Remember Freedom," they're pretty blunt about what they believe. In short, they're anarchists who oppose oppressive capitalism. Their name comes from an Ursula K Le Guin quote in which she says, "We'll need writers who can remember freedom" when hard times are upon us.

It doesn't matter if you agree with their point of view. Assuming you haven't turned off your brain because the previous paragraph mentions the words capitalism and oppressive in the same thought, you will realize why your hostility is irrelevant if you keep reading, especially if you're a writer. In their guidelines section, We Will Remember Freedom describes their payment structure in ways both wonderful and inspiring:

"We pay $.01USD per word upon acceptance. This is not a professional rate, and we are therefore primarily a reprint market. While we will consider fiction that has not appeared elsewhere, we suggest that if your story is good enough for us, it is probably good enough for someone who will pay you at least 8 cents per word and we encourage you to try submitting to those markets first. Authors should be paid for their labor. Once your work is out of exclusivity, or if you can’t find a better-paying home for it, send it on to us!"

SERIOUSLY???






That paragraph is filled with so much good that it momentarily instilled faith in my fellow human. I mean, it's gone now, but still...

Small Presses (A Brief Thought-Stream)

I subscribe to a certain weekly email newsletter that graciously provides lists of upcoming anthologies that are open to submissions. Most of my recent published work has been due to this list, so my gratitude is boundless. Therefore, please note this is not in any way a criticism of the compiler(s) of the weekly list. Instead, it's an observation about the level of expectation smaller publishers often have when it comes to their anthologies.

Anyone who has submitted fiction knows the pay-scale isn't exactly encouraging. There's a double-edged sword these days. There are more markets looking for work than ever before (I refuse to refer to my work or the work of others as "content") and the Internet has made it the easiest it's ever been to submit to them. So on the up side, it rarely costs anything to send out one's stories. No more self-addressed stamped envelopes, for the most part. On the down side, however, the innumerable smaller publishers can't afford to pay very much.

That's perfectly understandable. And while the amount of money involved should not dictate the quality of what they're seeking (I know this flies in the face of supposed conventional capitalistic wisdom) it should dictate what they require in addition to receiving said work.

What I'm getting at, quite simply, is if you can only pay someone twenty dollars for their hard work, don't also expect them to do additional work before you will even deign to consider reading it.
That is not a privilege you should possess until you can at least pay semi-pro rates.

I don't write this as someone who hasn't been on the other side of the submission wall. I have edited and published a magazine as well as two anthologies and never once did I require anything further than the story itself and any agreed upon edits/rewrites. I certainly wasn't full of myself enough to require a written proposal before I would even read their work. Why not charge a submission fee while you're at it?

Better yet, here's a urine sample and a list of the last five people I slept with.

I'm all for lofty goal-setting and aspirations of literary godhood, but come on. Twenty bucks barely fills most gas tanks these days. The "exposure" claim has been debunked far too many times for me to lend it any credence. Publishers are not supposed to remind us of employers that act like their workers should be grateful for minimum wage despite it being a law they have no choice but to observe.

You're supposed to be better than those low-lives. You're supposed to understand what writers go through both professionally and personally. Since your reach exceeds your grasp, try wrapping your hands around a big pile of perspective and get over yourselves~

***FREE FICTION TIME***

I'm not generally fond of the fact that some of my work can be found free with the mildest effort, despite the fact that it's often work appearing in an anthology that is supposed to be purchased. However, I'm feeling generous today and, if I may be frank, I was never paid for this particular story anyway.

Don't worry. I wasn't stiffed. It was simply not a paying anthology. It was submitted to an editor of whom I'd been rather fond during her time at another publisher that was no longer in business. It would appear that the newer publisher hath met a similar fate. I can't find anything beyond 2017 on their website.

So, the fact that story rights revert to the author after six months unless otherwise stipulated and combined with the defunct status of the publisher renders me guilt-free. I could have posted it on my Patreon page but I don't want people to start feeling like I don't ever share my work on here anymore.

Below is the cover of the anthology.

Click here to read my story and, apparently, every other story in the anthology. 

Staving off the Rejection Blues

This first half of 2019 is turning into rejection season for me. I normally have better luck in the Fall and Winter but I'd be lying if I told you it doesn't still get to me. However, I refuse to let it get me down, so I have decided to post a link to a post of mine from 2008. It's one of my favorites and it, I hope, puts situations such as these in their proper perspective.

Read the post here.

Reading it helped me remember where I started out and where I am now. Perhaps it will help others with their own struggles with self-doubt and uncertainty...

*Correction*

In reference to the post about my short story "Soulmate Express" not having ever been published, thanks to a keen-eyed co-worker, I know that it was!

She located it on my Twitter page which I haven't used in nearly a decade (image below)

Now if I could just locate the damn thing!

When Writing Hurts.

Two days ago, I finally located the flashdrive that had so much of my work on it, both finished and in-progress. I wasn't too worried about finding it. I knew it was safely put away in my house and I had gone through a rather impressive creative spurt these past few months that kept my submission rotation going strong.

While revisiting some of the stories on the drive, I located one that I thought had been published before. However, when I asked Google, the only result was a post by yours truly discussing the odd rejection letter it received from an editor. That post was written nine years ago and can be read here. (For the record, it is no longer the oddest rejection letter I've received) Since this was the only thing I could find associating that title with my name, I had no choice but to conclude that it had never been published. There's probably a good reason for that.

This story, possibly more than any other I've written, is so uncomfortably personal, so intense and unflinchingly honest about its subject matter, namely the complete loss of sanity from rejected love and the depths to which one can sink, that I'm surprised I finished it without winding up in a fetal ball in a puddle of my own drool.

Yes, it's that intense.

The amount of pain and anger that went into that story makes me uncomfortable, so I can only imagine how the editor felt!

But a writer shouldn't shy away from baring his or her soul. Ever. If you ever doubt that I fully embrace that philosophy, you should probably pledge at least a dollar to my Patreon page and see for yourself.  The third and latest post in particular will tell you everything you need to know.

I feel this decade-old story deserves to be published, but I also know it's a difficult sell because of its subject matter and execution. So, I'm going to send it out once or twice and see what happens. If no one bites, it will wind up on the Patreon page and, somewhere down the line, in a short story collection.

When writing hurts, share it with others so they can experience it, too. Not to be sadistic, but shared human experience shouldn't stop at fuzzy self-help moments. Unless you're open as a reader to all that life offers, you are cutting yourself off from truth and that, my friends, is when things will really start to hurt~

AND JUST LIKE THAT, THE BAD LUCK STREAK ENDED!

Regular readers of this blog know what the title is referring to, but for those who don't, permit me a brief recap. Basically, I've been receiving more rejections than a Trump staffer in Washington, D.C. looking for a date. That wasn't a slam, by the way. It's a documented fact.

I realized early in February of this year that part of the reason for the high number of rejections was based on when the stories had been submitted. Most of them were sent to their prospective anthologies in the closing few months of 2018, so naturally the editors would want to clean their slate as early in the New Year as possible. Unfortunately, the decisions they made did not swing in my favor.

It wasn't as if I had nothing being published this year, but the rapidity with which I received the rejections felt like a bombardment. Today, that all came to a screeching halt thanks to The Horror Zine editor Jeani Rector. I have published stories with her before. Two were published and can still be read on the website here and here, and in two published volumes here and here.

Describing my story as "creepy and odd," she found it a good fit for her online, award-winning zine.
More on that as it materializes.

Good news for you cheapskates out there...it will be free to read!

10 of the Oddest Story Rejection Reasons I've Ever Received. (Updated with a correction)

This is a post I've been contemplating writing for a few years now and I feel I've finally reached a point where I can do it the right way, namely without employing unwarranted insults or naming names. The younger, less confident me might have indulged in both just out of spite but I've reached the conclusion that people be different than one another and no amount of pointing out how ridiculous you find their points of view will change a thing about most of them.

Whenever an editor takes the time to provide personal feedback, it's a good thing. It's also rare. Most rejections consist of "Sadly it wasn't for us," which is not at all helpful. But when someone is taking in hundreds of submissions per month, it's understandable. And I have received some very helpful feedback in the form of rejection letters. These are not the helpful ones.

However, at the risk of incurring undue wrath or burning bridges, I'm going to keep my reasons general without mentioning the particular stories (several of which wound up published elsewhere) or their precise themes. Keep in mind these are in no particular order and they are mostly paraphrased:

• "Your story about revenge from beyond the grave is too angry for my anthology about revenge from beyond the grave."
• "We didn't believe your character could be so desirable to so many employers because she is a customer service rep so the story didn't work for us."
• "Your story about the Old West has a truck in it because it goes back and forth between past and present so it's not really about the Old West even though 80% of the story takes place there."
• "There's too much showing and, presumably, not enough telling in your story."
•  "This story might offend people who like to read because it presents a book store in a negative light."
• "I misinterpreted your homage as fan fiction which we don't publish."
• "Your realistic horror story was too dark and disturbing and might make readers uncomfortable."
• "Readers can't be expected to go back and forth in a short story despite the literal volumes of stories published that make them do exactly that."
• "All the editors LOVED LOVED LOVED this story, so of course we don't be publishing it."
• "The voice of the narrator is well done and fits the eerie setting perfectly.  The suspense carried me along, and your writing is exceptional and even though those would be reason enough, I am one of those people who judges every story by whether or not it has an ending that floors me so it's a no from me."

Every single reason listed above is genuine. I did not pull a fiction writer and fabricate any of them. With time, most of them wound up being funny to me and as with any field, some are indicative of a general incompetence on the part of those doing the evaluating. If you're an aspiring writer reading this post and feeling in any way discouraged, perhaps this next part will make you feel better: Each of the reasons listed above pertains to a different story, meaning there were ten stories. Eight of those stories were published elsewhere. It takes persistence and faith in one's self to take these types of things in stride and keep submitting. Then you too will one day have ridiculous stories to tell~

Correction: The editor who sent me "There's too much showing and, presumably, not enough telling in your story" as a reason replied to my email apologizing for what turned out to be a typo. So, thank God at least that one was an error.)