Thursday, January 20, 2011

And my writing has been called disturbing???

Just as he was rising to prominence as one of the greatest spin doctors in media history by claiming he was dwelling in some "No-Spin Zone" of his own imagining, former tabloid scumbag turned neo-con carnival barker Bill O'Reilly released a self-serving novel in 1998.

Entitled "Those Who Trespass," the novel concerned a virtuous O'Reilly-like TV host who was programmed by the IRA to kill everyone who ever sabotaged his career while having sex with minors and lamenting his nights "snuggling" with his dad as a child. The novel contained some of the most disturbing prose in recent memory and aided in the slow yet sure decline of Random House's reputation for quality.

Below are some of the lines from the novel that stand out the most (Keep in mind much of the sex is taking place with a minor):

"Say baby, put down that pipe and get my pipe up."

"Cup your hands under your breasts and hold them for ten seconds."

"Off with those pants."




As an Amazon commentor put it, "Nothing, and I really mean nothing, gets me as hot and bothered as reading about a 15 year old doing that fellatio business after hitting a crack pipe." This is the guy who decries violence in media and then firmly embraces it in what another reviewer referred to as a "cockroach-infested tome."

It appears as though O'Reilly missed is rue calling: Horror-porn~



Thursday, January 13, 2011

An author's thoughts on self-publishing

My colleague Great Lakes Association of Horror Writers author and editor Montilee Stormer comes out swingin' on the topic of self-publishing!

Whether you agree totally with her or not, she makes several good points and doesn't mince words.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Submission Accepted. (Advice for those who dread rejection.)

I was recently asked by Suspense Magazine to review books for them. One of the first three they sent me was Twice the Terror, the second collection by online horror magazine The Horror Zine. The book was filled with business cards arranged throughout advertising the magazine and encouraging those who gazed upon it to "Submit your stories poetry, or art."

"What the hell? "I thought. I'd just had a story rejected and since my rule is to resubmit within 24 hours, I chose a story I'd written as a throw-away and sent it along.

It was accepted within 24 hours!

The editor wrote:

Hi Christopher. I read your story Always Say Treat with interest. It is a very good story; highly original. I like it very much and I want to welcome you into The Horror Zine.
Even though the theme of your story is Halloween, since we are a horror magazine, it is Halloween all year round for us. That said, the earliest I can fit you in is April 2011.

Let this serve as some form of inspiration to those who dread rejection. It's part of the process and it is not the end of the world. It's also a numbers game, to some extent. Sending out one thing only won't cut it. At any given time I have five or six stories in rotation.

It's not for the faint at heart, but getting published is the best experience a real writer can have. Keep it up or walk away if you can't handle it.

Monday, January 10, 2011

2 Migraine-inducingly Moronic Posts

 No commentary, no attempts to rationalize. Just gaze, if you dare, on the stupid!