I did it! 3rd & Final Patreon Post for December.

This one isn't publicly viewable but it does contain a free flash fiction story for those interested in pledging.

Click here to read it.

SECOND PATREON POST FOR DECEMBER

I'm doing something a little different this time. The post is actually public for the next week or so, meaning you don't have to pay to read it. But if you like what you see, maybe you will see to it to pledge at least a dollar per month to read all the other stuff that came before this post and all that comes after.

Click here.

Quote of the Week...

...comes from a Facebook commenter on a post where someone was desperately trying to ascribe communism to the Nazis:

There is socialism in “national socialism” in the same way there is shepherd in “shepherd’s pie.”

First Patreon Post for December.

Mea Culpa for the long-ass wait but here it is.

Book Trailer for "Classics Remixed Vol. II"

I had no idea this even existed! Even worse, it's been online since October of this year. Ah, well. No time like the prescient, right?

Below is the link to the Youtube trailer for the anthology featuring my short story, "Gorgon Not Forgotten." If you watch carefully, you may even see the head of yours truly hovering along with other authors.

View the trailer here.

Order the book here.

Look at the cover of the book...right here!

Best & worst Movies of the Last Ten Years- Updated as of 12/1/19!

Below is my list of what I considered to be the worst and best films of 2009-2019. Keep in mind this list is based solely on movies I have actually seen:

2009
Best: Inglorious Basterds
Worst: Avatar
Honorable Mention for Best: Watchmen & Star Trek
Most Overrated: The Hurt Locker


2010
Best: Inception
Worst: Hot Tub Time Machine & Jonah Hex
Honorable Mention for Best: True Grit & Kick-Ass
Honorable Mention for Worst: Skyline







2011
Best: Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol & X-Men: First Class  
Worst: The Hangover Part II
Honorable Mention for Best: Another Earth
Honorable Mention for Worst: Hobo With a Shotgun
Most Overrated:  Super 8 (Still a good movie, though)

2012- This was a tough year for choosing one Worst!
Best: The Avengers
Worst: The Hunger Games
Honorable Mention for Worst: Skyfall
Honorable Mention for Best:  Looper

2013- The Year of Absolute Shit
Best: 12 Years a Slave
Worst: Frozen
Honorable Mention for Worst: Identity Thief & A Good Day to Die Hard & This is the End

2014
Best: X-Men Days of Future Past  & Captain America The Winter Soldier
Worst: Transformers: Age of Extinction
Honorable Mention For Best: Birdman 
Honorable Mention for Worst: Big Hero 6
Most Overrated: Guardians of the Galaxy

2015
Best: Stars Wars the Force Awakens
Worst: Fantastic Four
Honorable Mention for Best: Straight Outta Compton & The Martian
Most Overrated: Mad Max: Fury Road

2016
Best: Arrival & Shin Godzilla
Worst: Deadpool
Honorable Mention for Best: The Nice Guys
Most Overrated: Captain America: Civil War & Rogue One

2017 
Best: Logan
Worst: It
Honorable Mention  for Worst: Get Out (Also Most Overrated)

2018
Best: Avengers: Infinity War
Worst: No Movie Met the Criteria
Honorable Mention for Best: Annihilation & Bohemian Rhapsody
Most Overrated: Black Panther (A good but flawed movie)

2019
Best: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Worst: (SH)It: Chapter 2
Most Overrated: Captain Marvel 
Honorable Mention  for Worst: Avengers: Endgame (Didn't hate it but it was a huge disappointment on all levels

Two Reviews/One Announcement.

I'll get to my "big announcement" in a moment but let's start with the reviews I ran across. The first is of the 2011 anthology "Legends, Denim & Silver" which featured my stark monster hunter story "Finally, the Source." This is still my favorite review of anything I've had published mainly because the reviewer really gets me, man! The response was exactly what I was going for, which is a rare thing indeed:

 

Finally, The Source barely edges out the tales as my favorite in The Monster Hunters section, if only for its fantastic 'oh shit, did you just go there?!' ending. Wilson, a monster hunter, is recruited by the Nightmare Guild — his arch enemies if there ever were any — to take out the cause of all strife; for both monster and humans alike. After his eyes are opened to the trouble this new target has caused, he reluctantly takes on the task. While I suspected the ending before it came, I have to admit that it was still surprising that author Christopher Nadeau carried through with it. Sure it can be argued that his ending is open ended, but not so much that, yeah, that just happened.

Read the entire anthology review here.

The other review doesn't mention me or my story but it is by the prestigious Publisher's weekly of the anthology pictured below:

  

 

 

You can read that review here.

 

You may be wondering why I ran across these reviews, or maybe you're thinking, "This MF's ego is off the charts! He's just randomly Googling reviews of his older work and then posting about it. How sad. What a tiny, pathetic man." Any other time you'd be right but this time I am doing it for a good reason. This is where the announcement portion of our program comes into play.

 

*Cue the trumpets*

 

I have finally decided to compile a short story collection comprised of previously published works, work that was published but is no longer available, and previously unpublished work.  I even know which publisher I would like to send it to. So, shot in the dark, I know, but if there are any stories of mine you've read and feel deserve inclusion, feel free to let me know. I've already created a list but it's not written in stone.

 

Black Friday Sale: Classics ReMixed II

The pre-order sale ends today.

Click here to make it happen!

PATREON-POLOGY (tm)

I was really hoping to post a third Patreon piece before December but it clearly ain't gonna happen now. So, my pledge for the month of December is to try and post four pieces but to at least post three.

In the meantime, click here to see all the scrumptious goodness you're missing by not paying a measly minimum of $1.00 per month.

See ya in December!

I'm at the Lie-Berry!!!

I love the fact that three anthologies I have stories in can be found in the library system I work for. I wish they were at the actual libraries I work for but the fact that they're accessible in the shared system is still pretty freakin' awesome.

I can't lay claim to "Angels in the Endzone" and for that I am eternally grateful. The three anthologies, however, do indeed feature my work. If you live in Southeastern Michigan and have a library card, be sure to visit The Library Network for more info!

Things That Make you go "Aww!"

When I see the below pic of the new "Charlie's Angels," my first reaction is to say, "Aww." They look like children playing big people games. Infantilization is swiftly making it difficult to take actors seriously in certain roles because they still look and act very much like pre-teens and teenagers.  No wonder it's a flop.

Never mind that it's already been remade once or that there's only one pretty one (the one in the middle) or that Elizabeth Banks has clearly lost her mind, that still says it all!

And people wonder why I express almost zero interest in seeing my work adapted by Hollywood!

2ND PATREON POST OF NOVEMBER.

Another never-before-published story.

Read it here.

In the Beginnings (Three Beginnings to Unfinished Stories)

Like most and probably all writers, I have lots and lots of unfinished stories and novels just sitting around waiting for me to get back to them. There was a time when something like 95% of everything I started remained that way, but thanks to one of my three mentors, the late Annabelle McIlnay, I became much more disciplined. In fact, when a co-worker recently asked me if I was participating in NanoWriMo this year, I awkwardly informed her I didn't really need to.  Well, I tried to say that but was too busy being yelled at as the co-worker demanded that I not even finish my sentence.

Still, none of that means I am so disciplined that I finish everything. I'd estimate now that my completion rate is something like 70%, which is still damn good.  At the risk of sounding like an even worse braggart, there's also the matter of my output ratio. Simply put, I start more stories than I used to when Annabelle was admonishing me to "Just finish one damn thing" before starting another.

I recently completed a script and a short story that I am still debating whether or not to let anyone else see (read about that here) but there are several stories still sitting in my to-do pile wondering what my problem is. I need motivation. I need that gentle push. I need you, baby.

So, here are the first sections of three unfinished stories for you to read and provide me with one simple piece of feedback: Which one should I finish next or should I scrap them all and go back to scribe school with my wanna-be Hemingway ass?

Leave a comment with your insightful comments and see the story starts below:

Partners

His name isn’t important.

He will tell you the same. For reference purposes, you may refer to him as “Mal.” Whatever his last name is or was, he hasn’t used it in years and no longer cares to remember it. 

What he does care about, however, is what will transpire over the course of the next few hours. He stands before a large group of people -- call them what they are --Call them followers -- that stares at him with grim expectation and damn near blind devotion. He tries to smile reassuringly but the muscles in his face that form such things have long since gone dead. 

Just like his tear ducts.

Final Illumination

Howard stops climbing the wall, turns to me and says, “Do you think he can hear what we’re

thinking all the way out here?”

I shake my head with what I hope is confidence, motion for him to keep climbing. Even brief delays such as these could cost us dearly. 

Below us, the searchlights move frantically along the craggy surface, all-terrain vehicles reflecting the light for an instant as they continue their own search for the escaped dissidents. For us. I can feel Howard’s fear. I can feel his hopefulness as well. He believes in me and my ability to get him to safety. 

Fifteen years ago, one glance at my inhuman face would have sent a human like Howard screaming into the nearest safe spot. But times have changed for the human race, as they have for us. 

And it was all because of one young man in a place called Westphalia, Michigan.

The Wall They Paid For

  The Great and Noble Book of Orange tells the story of a time when the haters and losers opposed the Wall. It’s hard to believe this is true, but since all other information is Fake News, it has to be true. But sometimes, when I’m alone and the Drainers aren’t in the vicinity, I confess I doubt the Word of our founder.

         The story, told in the Book’s typical one-hundred and forty character sentences, features many references to those ancient people known as the Demoncrats, who existed solely to oppose the founder and to hate freedom. There’s nothing in the Book that actually explains why they did these things or really who they were, but that’s a matter for the Church Apprentices to address when they deliver the Sunday night sermons. I haven’t been to church in months, a fact that has not gone unnoticed by the Apprenticeship. They have only mentioned it in casual conversation so far but the time is swiftly approaching when they will become more aggressive. That means I don’t have much time to accomplish my task.

Classics ReMixed II Coming In December.

Featuring my short story, "Gorgon not Forgotten," the Left Hand Publishers anthology Classics Remixed II is now available for pre-order.

See the cover below:

It's an odd one, to be sure, but still not as odd as:


THIS little gem!





(My short story "On the Eighth Day" was featured in this one, so it remains probably my most unread work)











Anyway, I won't reprint the entire letter I received here but I will share my favorite part in closing:

"All of us at Left Hand Publishers are VERY excited about Classics ReMixed II. It’s one of our favorites. We know you’re going to love it too. I’m really glad you agreed to go genderless in “Gorgon Not Forgotten.” It’s a great read. As always, thank you for being a part of the family of LHP authors."

First Patreon Post of November.

Read it here.

A Critique of my Own (unpublished) Short Story

Yesterday I wrote what in two sittings used to be known as a "short-short story" that is so dark, so disturbing and such a raw peek into my inner turmoil that I am afraid to let anyone else see it. It's not a revenge fantasy or some type of sociopolitical screed. Its subject matter, couched in surrealism and metaphor, is much more private. And no, I'm not going to reveal it here. What I am going to do, however, is discuss the writing of the story itself.

Clocking in at 866 words, the story I wound up calling "Once Broken" drops the reader directly into the middle of a moment that comes with no explanation. Filled with cryptic dialogue between two men, one of whom may not even be there, it basically details the prelude to a decision with enormous consequences. This was one of those times when what was in my head showed up on the screen.

The prose is sparse, the dialogue drives the plot and the imagery is almost non-existent except when a point is being made. I wish it had happened once the story was written but my damn self-awareness kicked in somewhere in the middle and I realized whose style I was mirroring.

I've been a Don DeLillo admirer for several years, and am especially impressed with his more surreal books such as "Cosmopolis," "The Body Artist" and "Mao II." Something about his shifting realities and grounded characters appeals to me in ways other authors have not tapped into. Perhaps Chuck Palahniuk's work has a similar effect on me but DeLillo's functions on a much higher, more esoteric level.

I'm not saying my story does that but it certainly has aspirations in that direction. Sadly, it's also disturbingly auto-biographical. It may even be the story someone looks back on one day and says, "If only we'd paid closer attention to that one."

Regardless, I now have a story that makes me uncomfortable. I suppose I could make the argument that in my own way I've achieved true art. For what is more meaningful than creating something one cannot feel comfortable letting others see? Is there not a purity to that? 

I remember my mother once telling me she painted something so horrifying, so deeply personal that she destroyed it afterwards because she couldn't bear letting it exist as a reminder of how far she'd fallen in those moments. Well, to borrow a famous commercial phrase from the Eighties, "I've fallen and I can't get up." I experienced no shame when writing "Once Broken." I just don't know if I want to give people clues to my state of mind if it actually gets published.

And that's a big "If." It's not the most accessible piece I've written.

So, while I welcome the feeling of being able to disturb myself, I will have to take some time before deciding if anyone else gets to read it. If it helps out everything into perspective, I think it's one of the best things I've written in a while.

The Promised Script Excerpt.

It's available on my Patreon page for any who are interested.

click here.

Script Update.

I've never written anything timely before, at least nothing that comes to mind. That changed recently with the challenge I received to write a whistleblower script for someone with the ability to get it produced. You can read all about that by clicking here.

Having never written a satirical script for hoped for immediate production, I was understandably nervous when I submitted it. Then I received the following response:


"Oh my God I just finished reading it. I loved it. I already have people in mind for different roles."

Well, that was a relief! I can't imagine what I would have done with what I consider to be a very funny 15-page examination of how stupid politics have become if she had hated it.

By the way, one of those people she had in mind for a role? He's typing this post.

More on that and a link to the Patreon excerpt tomorrow!

All Trumped Up.

Approximately one month ago I was challenged to write a script. It was during one of those two-couple dinners that are all the rage and somehow the topic turned to Donald Trump and his antics regarding the whistle-blower whose claims you can read up on by clicking here if you somehow don't know or recently were the recipient of a closed-head injury.

At some point during the lively conversation, I said, "Wouldn't it be funny if Melania turned out to be the whistle-blower?" The person sitting directly across from me jumped up in her seat, pointed at me and exclaimed, "If you write that, I'll get it produced!"

"As a script?" I said. I'd recently seen what she and her group of filmmakers were capable of and was reasonably impressed.

"Yes. I have actors who would love to be in that."

She's an actor, too. I had a pretty good feeling who she wanted to play. The very next day I realized the idea was burning a hole in my brain and I had no choice but to start writing it. I decided to go for complete satire, with characters who openly, cluelessly and unrepentantly admit to the worst possible aspects of human behavior as if they're discussing a grocery list. It took a month to complete the first draft but I am pleased with the result.

Taking into account budget constraints, which every play or script I've ever written does, I set the whole thing in a small room where a senate sub-committee gives the increasingly obnoxious president, his attorney and his VP a chance to admit his wrongdoing before the actual impeachment trial begins.

I plan to publish an excerpt of it in a couple days on my Patreon page. That's right. You gotta pay me at least a dollar to read it. Imagine the nerve of a writer wanting to get paid for his work!

A link will be posted soon so check back~

Not Sure How I Missed This.

Some time back, I entered the Dark Regions Press short story contest for a chance to get my story into the Black Labyrinth Anthology. I didn't win but I did apparently receive an Honorable Mention. I'm not sure how I missed this information -- maybe Dark Regions didn't send it to me in the rejection email -- but I was immediately transported back to childhood when we were herded into pits known as "classrooms" and forced to compete with each other for such luminary gains as the aforementioned Honorable Mention.

Broken, bloodied and drained of all sense of individuality, we stumbled forward for our cheaply made prizes so we could take them home and hand them to our parents and watch as they eventually faded into the confines of some forgotten box of crap that summed up our meager existences.

So, you're damn right I'm glad to see it. You can see it, too, by clicking here.












* In case my satire has gone unrecognized, I am actually pleased to have been mentioned at all considering I lost.
See, Mommy and Da-Da? Your little boy matters. He matters, damn you!

Step Right Up

Witness my pain for a meager monthly contribution!

click here.

Some of my Favorite Responses to Morons on News Articles.

While not as often as I once did, I still find myself commenting on news articles, mostly on Yahoo!, when someone makes a comment so moronic, so absurd and so goddam dumb that I simply cannot help myself. I try to be less antagonist these days, though, as long as they don't come at me that way.

 So, I have compiled a list of some of my favorite responses to (mostly) morons. Some of these are me replying to them replying to me but the majority are from my responses to their asinine comments or just my original comments on the articles. Some semblance of context is provided where needed:

• Awesome attempt at a slam but next time make sure you know the difference between Deniro and Pacino.
• Conservatives leveling accusations of McCarthyism is probably the funniest thing I've seen since they started quoting MLK!
• You seem genuinely unaware of Kid Rock's origins so I would suggest you look into his song "Grits Sandwiches for Breakfast" and then come back and tell us what black music he used. I could also have you speak to a man of color who was there during Rock's DJing period as a fellow DJ who said his mic skills were sorely lacking.
  Or you could wallow in self-righteous ignorance. Your choice
• Far too many identical comments supporting [Ron] Paul. And by identical I mean the wording, not the sentiment. Well, as we "Americans say,"Боже, благослови мать Россию."
• Oh, Cam as in camisole. Adjust the silky lady undergarments and relax. Your maleness *snicker* isn't under attack here.
• "Epic Pair Of Cat Leggings" is the exact phrase Nostradamus said would be uttered right before the endtimes.
• Who in their right mind would give my comment a thumbs down? Oh...answered my own question!
• You mean the 80's when people literally drove around looking for "guys that look gay" to beat nearly to death? Those were the days, my friend, lives were brought to an end...
• You do realize Elton John is gay, not merely festive?
• The scariest thing about [Steve] Bannon is that he can sometimes make lots of sense. just enough to momentarily convince you he's not an insidious hate-monger with a destructive ideology.
• (Re: The Joker movie) You're not too swift, are you? Also prone to projection. I never once "blamed" anyone. I merely made the point that anytime someone creates controversial art involving violence like this, it should at least occur to them that someone who is mentally ill could imitate it. Anything else you inferred is from your own particular brand of self-righteous idiocy.
  But please continue your inane examples because they're awfully amusing.
• "MIllenials are Killing Award Shows!"
  Hysterical details later tonight.
•  Clever retort. You must be a real cut-up at the group home.
• This seriously never occurred to him? Must be nice to float through life on a vapor cloud of your own cluelessness.
• (Re: Epstein) Because sex offenders should get a free pass?
  When do you get to remove your ankle tether?
• (Re: "Avatar") It was that rare message movie I agree with and still wanted it to shut up.
• Interesting how all I see in the comments section are people whining about guns being a God-given right and how Beto don't know nuthin' 'bout no guns no way, but nobody is mentioning the incredibly sexist diatribe from this idiot commentator who obviously regards "his girl" as property/\
• What does it feel like to have been born in the past few hours with no knowledge of history.

I hope you enjoyed these. If not, you won't want to read the next batch I post whenever I run out of posting ideas~

Oy, Such a Compliment That Was!

Although I mentioned it on Facebook, I refrained from mentioning specifics about my latest short story acceptance here because this is where I make my "official announcements" and I had not yet sent in my signed contract.  There's also the little matter of not wanting to jinx anything because, to be blunt, it's been a while since I've had anything accepted. However, this hasn't been a total surprise since, as I advised my Facebook friends, I tend to have better luck in the Fall.

I did make a brief mention of the story's acceptance in my post from September 28th post so maybe consider this the sequel to that award-winning piece of quasi-journalistic excellence. The story is titled, "Gorgon Not Forgotten" (hee-hee get it?) and it was accepted by Left Hand Publishing. Once I sent in my signed contract, biography and picture (ugh!) they replied with the suggested edits.

There were hardly any.

Not to brag, but the publisher of my first novel used to say I was the easiest person to edit because my first drafts tended to read like final ones. That didn't mean changes weren't necessary or that there was no room for improvement. It just meant my narrative structure was relatively strong and the requisite flow and plot progression weren't in need of repair. This may be telling stories out of school as they used to say but I don't normally start writing until I either have a complete vision in my head or, when I don't have one, I stop and start a lot rather than simply rushing through a first draft. That's an unusual technique and not one I necessarily recommend to others. The conventional wisdom is to not do what I do but I have found that I am less likely to finish the work if I don't push myself to make it final draft worthy the first time.

I am not, repeat not, arrogant enough to believe a prospective editor will see it that way. I am also one of the easiest people to request rewrites and edits from. Every word is not precious and sometimes one must indeed kill their darlings if they want to see one's work in print. If you don't agree, don't accept the offer.

When I opened the returned document containing my story and its suggested edits, I saw the following note in the right-hand corner:

"Hi Christopher. Excellent story and a pristine manuscript. As your story was being reviewed by the scorers, it was noted a couple of times that by changing just a few words, you could keep the progeny genderless. As you read through your manuscript again, try to forget whether it’s a he or a she. You’ll see how it adds another layer to your piece.
If you do not like that idea, just “reject” the couple of changes that we made.Thank you for a great read. Nice working with you on this project."

The note was followed by a handful of suggested grammatical changes. Personal feedback is rare enough in this field and any is appreciated, even if it's not positive. To receive positive feedback thanking me? That's yuge! Not to mention the amount of compliments contained in that one paragraph. Knowing that more than one person read it and found enough merit to agree it was publishable makes any semblance of impostor syndrome vanish like flatulence in a summer breeze.

More on that actual publication date when I know more on the actual...publication...you know what I mean!

This is What Brilliant Satire Looks Like.

Since the individual and, by extension, his followers and sarcasm/satire/parody are strangers to each other, may I present this brilliantly written and executed piece of satire for purely educational purposes?

Writing to Suit

Although I find myself doing it often, these days in particular, I'm always hesitant to write short stories for  anthologies with specific themes. The chances of getting the story accepted are usually low, especially if the story wasn't commissioned by the publisher, and then I'm left with what I consider a quality story that is too specific to send elsewhere.

I have gotten better at being strategic, however. Unless the anthology theme is one that grabs hold of me to the point where I become consumed with an instant story idea, I tend to weed out the more idiosyncratic ones in favor of themes that seem a bit more generalized. For example. if someone is looking for stories about the end of the world that only involve a wish gone horribly wrong, that story might be easily placed elsewhere. But if it's just about the end of the world being caused by a single poor decision, I'm all over it.

(I should confess here that the above example was one I actually wrote and published titled "Maynard" about a lovable, fun-loving sociopath whose hatred of humanity is eclipsed only by his ego)

Image obtained from Wickimedia Commons

Sometimes it's hard to not write the story anyway. There have been anthologies that paid well but what they wanted was so particular to that publication that it just didn't seem to be worth my time. I have few regrets on that score because I know that ultimately it makes more sense to aim wider. Such was not the case with the short story I had accepted earlier this week. Entitled, "Gorgon, not Forgotten," this was a case of literary hypocrisy on my part and I make no apologies for that.

"Gorgon" was written for an anthology looking for reworked mythological tales. The instant I read it, the words, "Medusa had a secret daughter" echoed inside my brain non-stop for several seconds. It was a case of a story taking hold of me and demanding to be told. Those are the moments most writers live for and I would have been damned if I'd allow that feeling pass without giving it its due. I finished the story rather quickly and had a few people read it. One hated it based on the fact that my version of the mythology was not what she "knew" to be the way it was supposed to work. Another loved it. One other couldn't get past the present tense and a fourth found it brilliant.

The story was rejected.

I wondered if my faith in its assumed (by me) quality had been misplaced. Sure, two people had really enjoyed it but what about those negative criticisms? Maybe they were right. How would I ever know, considering I'd written this story to suit a specific anthology? Then the Left Hand of Darkness emerged from deep within the Stygian depths of my unconscious mind. Or, more accurately, this publisher announced a somewhat similar anthology. Needless to say, the story was accepted.

So, is there a moral to this story or is it, as Homer Simpson once said, "Just a buncha stuff that happened"? I suppose if pressed to find a moral, it is to trust that inner voice in your head, the one that sounds like you. The one that doesn't sound like you might need to be medicated away unless it imbues you with super-powers. But that other voice knows you because it is you and, every once in a while, it's okay to step away from the hard and fast rules.

More info on this anthology as it becomes known~

2nd (and probably last) Patreon Post for September.

This post is fiction. Honestly. Not a word of it is based in any way on the tormented hell that is my life. 

Become a patron blah blah blah click here to read it yadda yadda yadda...

Quote of the Week!

When and how did [Meghan] McCain become an expert on the conservative viewpoint?If not for riding the coattails of her great father, McCain would be just another "body positive" housewife.

-Anonymous 

 

Short Stories No Longer Available.

It always saddens me when something I had published is no longer available to be purchased. And since most of my work has been published by tiny publishing houses, many of which closed their doors after just a few years of operation, the likelihood of not being able to find my work is greater than hoped. This is especially true of work that was only published in print form but it is by far not exclusively the case.

I've been fortunate enough to have published and, in some cases, republished well over three dozen short stories and two novels. The story count might be even higher than that now but I'm not obsessive about counting. Thankfully, the majority of my work can still be found.

Unfortunately, sometimes a publisher doesn't simply cease publishing. Sometimes they vanish like the proverbial fart upon yon breeze. Such was the case with the publisher of SciFan Magazine, the first publication to print a story of mine. I submitted a second story to the publisher only to soon realize he was more interested in promoting his own science fiction novel than in continuing to publish a high-quality magazine.  And it was high-quality. You can see by clicking here that SciFan is no more.

The story SciFan published, "No More Goodbyes," was not one I consider among my best, although I'm still rather fond of it. One story I do consider one of my best appeared in the anthology, "The Good Fight" concerning a superhero called Vanishing Act who discovers that the battle against evil isn't necessarily one he should be waging. That story is now out of print and I feel it deserves further consideration.

Perhaps the most painful loss is my beloved The Darkness Internal. Aussie publisher and friend Mark Turner ran out of funds after a rather impressive dual run of his main Voluted Tales Magazine and my imprint, named above. I got to publish six issues before the inevitable ax descended and, for several years afterwards and to the surprise of Mark, the issues remained online. I foolishly allowed myself to believe they always would be but the links no longer work. Now the only record of The Darkness Internal's existence can be found on blogs such as this one and this one.

It's sad to see a publication that included one's work gone into the ether; it happens to even the most famous authors. But when it's something I worked on from conception to inception, I can't deny that it hurts. I wish I'd thought of compiling the better stories into a self-published "Best of" but alas, I did not.

For those who may not be aware, most short stories, still available or not, become available to the author again within a year of publication. So, those stories that are no longer available could have been shopped around to others while they were still actively able to be purchased. A few were, actually.

As an author, I feel duty-bound to send work I have confidence back out for further consideration. And at some point, they will be collected in a short collection that will also one day go out of print.

Seeing Sequels to Movies I Hated

I know I've written about this before but feel it needs reiterating: The idea that there are people who see movies, feel underwhelmed, and then say, "But you know the sequel is gonna be really good," is  beyond idiotic to me. It isn't that they needed to love a movie in order to see its sequel. It isn't even that they found a way to become invested enough in the story or characters or both to return. The idiotic part comes from the assumption that the first movie is often underwhelming but just wait for that next one, man!

Seriously? Have we become so addled by mediocrity and cynical marketing that we accept our own stupidity as justification for why our entertainment fails to work?

What bothers me even more, however, is when the people who act this way treat me as if I'm the crazy one when I say there is no way in hell I'm seeing a sequel to a movie I hated. Why would I? Why would anyone? That's anywhere from ninety minutes to over three hours of my life I'll never get back. Why the hell would I want to subject myself to that again? And more importantly, if I'm not invested after the first movie, why should I care what happens in the second one?

For years, a friend of mine has been doing this level best to convince me to see the sequels to a movie I absolutely despised because he sincerely believes I will say the second one was the one the filmmakers should have started with. When I reply that that would just piss me off because I spent time watching the first one, he seems baffled by my response.

That film series, along with the rest, is listed below in where I have compiled several examples of movies I saw whose sequels I do not ever plan to watch even for free:

The Matrix Reloaded: I found the first movie derivative, trite and poorly acted.

It: Chapter 2: Worst movie I saw in 2017. A total rape of the source material by a hack filmmaker and a terrible cast of bad actors.

The Second Pirates of the Caribbean: Come on! Have we met?

Frozen 2: (See Pirates reply)

The Hobbit 2: Not saying Jackson lost his mojo but it was nowhere on display in the first Hobbit film.


You'll notice some of these films are more than a few years old and only one hasn't yet been released. There are others but these are good examples. There have also been films whose sequels I swore I'd never see but did because of my investment in the character(s) via other interpretations, but even then I feel dirty and was pretty disappointed.

I was recently asked if I was going to wait to see the second "It" when it was released on DVD and I merely shook my head. At some point, with the exception of this post, I came to the conclusion that there really is nothing else to be said~

First Patreon Post of September.

Remiss in my duties once again, here finally is the Patreon Post you've no doubt been awaiting with bated and whiskey-soaked breath!

GREATEST QUOTE EVER!

And yes, she said it!

Religious Fanatic Takes "Steal this Book!" to Heart but it's the Wrong Book.

Apparently an anthology I am in offended the delicate sensibilities of at least one self-appointed soldier for the Lord. At least, that's how the anthology's publisher is interpreting it.

It makes sense, based on how the petty crime took place. You can get the whole story here but here's a pull quote in case your clickin' finger is sore:

"...other books were left alone, as was a tablet and some cash..."

B Cubed Press Bob Brown's response to the thief is pretty entertaining because, ultimately, the fact that fiction can still cause this reaction in people means it still has the power to transform and to make people think. That is worth more to me than any financial reward my story gained.

The funny thing is, the only reason I even know about this is because I happened to be on my Amazon Author page where a newer reader review of the anthology mentioned the theft.  You can read that review here and even though the reader doesn't mention my story (how dare they?) it's a glowingly positive one that might not have happened if some jackass hadn't tried to censor what you're able to read.

RECOMMENDATIONS- 3 MOVIES, 2 BOOKS

Since I don't have any new publication info to share, I thought I'd use this space to discuss the quality work of others. I am, after all, an admirer of good writing. I also like to recognize it in various formats, my feelings regarding the inherent superiority of the printed medium notwithstanding, one would have to be a fool to not recognize the brilliance often found on film.

So, I'll start with two movies I absolutely loved and one good one that should have been even better:

• Brightburn- A movie written by filmmaker James Gunn's brothers Brian and Mark, this is the anti-superhero movie I've been waiting for. Basically taking the Superman origin story and turning it on its head, this film reminds us how helpless we would be if a nearly all-powerful alien who looked like us arrived on Earth without heroic impulses. The movie is relatively small, prviding an intimate portrayal of its subject, and the payoff is disturbing and thought-provoking with the promise of more to come.

• Fast Color- Another stripped-down superhero story, this one deals with a lineage of African-American women (although the main protagonist is bi-racial) who have concealed their amazing powers from the world for centuries. Unfortunately, the world is running out of water and desperation had led a team of government-backed scientists to pursue any means necessary to fix what the human race has broken. This includes a woman named Ruth, portrayed by the distractingly beautiful Gugu Mbatha-Raw. A movie that it once a subtle Apocalyptic tale, a rumination of race and family and love, it is a slow-mover but well worth it. 

• Batman: Hush- This is the one I can't fully recommend. I'm not sure if I made the mistake of reading the source material first or if having done so was a good move, because the drop-off in quality is significant. Don't get me wrong. The movie is well-made. Warner Bros.' DC movies still have the best voice acting around and director Sam Liu has become quite good at getting consistent performances and suspense in these newer films. However, the treatment of the vastly superior graphic novel is spotty and the new twist simply does not work. One issue some of these newer animated films has is their tendency to take deeper storylines and given them a superficial makeover. Ultimately a good movie but should have been one of the best.

Books:

• Master and Apprentice- As big a "Star Wars" fan as I am, it's often difficult for me to complete the novels. However, once in a while one comes along I simply cannot put down and this was one of those. Focusing on a pivotal moment between Jedi Master Qui Gon Jinn and Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, Claudia Gray spins an interesting tale that is just big enough to warrant not two but three Jedi Knights but small enough to not over-shadow the movies. Definitely worth a read.

• Becoming Superman: My Journey from Poverty to Hollywood- J. Michael Straczynski has long been one of my writing heroes. "Babylon 5" came along just as I was jumping off the Trekkie train and swiftly became my favorite science fiction series of all time. I have also followed his work in the comics medium and movies as well as his stint with one of "Twilight Zone" reboots. But I never knew what a horrible, abusive, traumatic childhood he'd led. I'm not even finished with this one yet and I'm already recommending it! 

The Sequel to Top Gun: Playing Devil's Advocate.

You'd be hard-pressed to find anybody who is more excited about the "Top Gun" sequel than me. I still remember sitting alone in that theater surrounded by an enthusiastic audience, watching what would become one of the defining movies of my generation. Obviously, I loved it. Still do. I even bought the soundtrack, I rented the VHS, and I re-watched it often. In fact, it was probably my most watched non-science fiction film until I saw Oliver Stone's "Platoon," which I consider the defining film of my generation.

But "Platoon" wasn't fun or cool. Okay, it was kind of cool to teenagers because we knew next to nothing about Vietnam, but overall it was tragic and emotionally draining, as were"Hamburger Hill" and, for those who liked it, "Full Metal Jacket." "Top Gun," on the other hand, was fun.

Described by its director as rock 'n roll in the air and by one of its producers as "Star Wars on Earth," the Tom Cruse star vehicle captured the Reagan era zeitgeist better than any other film of the time. And while I recognize that isn't necessarily a good thing in retrospect, it was nearly impossible to not get caught up in some part of it if you were there. Was it a masterpiece? I suppose that depends on how one defines the word in relation to moviemaking but, for what it was and what it was designed to do, I would say yes.

It was.

This may seem like a specious comparison, but in many ways the film reminds me of "Casablanca." Not because of its story or plot but because of its cultural relevance and inherent re-watchability. The two movies couldn't be more different regarding subject matter but they both feature two conflicted male protaganists struggling against external and internal forces and a strong female protagonist whose love both complicates and compliments his struggle.

It's also about a guy who has to make an all-important choice at a critical moment and makes the right one in the end when it counts. Imagine if Rick hadn't decided to help Ilsa escape Casablanca or if Maverick (Cruse) wasn't able to overcome his PTSD during the aerial combat scene at the end and Iceman had been left to fend for himself. They would have been two very different, possibly more realistic movies that probably would only be remembered by cinephiles. However, Rick and Maverick both do what's right when it needs to be done. Despite all my cynicism and desire to write darker-themed stories, I still recognize the need for the occasional crowd-pleasing moment.

Then there's the love story. Normally, I am turned off by love stories in movies because the vast majorty of them feel tacked on, mere audience manipulation based on market research. The love

story in "Top Gun" is integral to the plot. It's part of what helps Maverick grow up and realize there is more to life than just his "need for speed." It also feels like a genuine attraction between two people who were destined to meet but not necessarily destined to stay together. Respectively, the audience never truly knows if Rick and Ilsa ever reunite after the war, nor whether or not Maverick and Charlie (Kelly MCGillis) truly get back together at the end or simply spend a little time together before once more going their separate ways.

In a time when movies were usually designed to tell one story and then end, sometimes ambiguously, this was not a setup for a sequel but rather an ending designed to create speculation and discussion. And that is the magic of a single movie with no follow-ups. When the elements of a film come together beautifully, it's rare that a sequel is able to recapture the magic.

And that's why "Top Gun: Maverick" has a bit of a steep hill to climb. What made the first movie great was its ambiguous ending. Life went on, Maverick was in a better place emotionally, but whether or not he remained a Top Gun instructor or "got the girl" was left up to the viewer to decide. With this sequel coming out next year, we now know he did not do either of those things. We don't know why yet but does it really matter?

The glorious, up-in-the-air, Casablancaesque ending will now be replaced with a new story that may or may not exceed or equal the first one. And since it is a sequel, it will most likely feature a relatively definitive ending, especially considering how many years have passed between films. 

Again, I'm mostly excited to see it. In fact, I can't stop watching the trailer. A part of me always wanted to know what happened to Maverick even though the final minutes of the film appeared to make that pretty clear. Perhaps I'm a little upset because what I inferred from the original film is no longer true. All the decades of assumption and comfort are now gone, maybe even rendered pointless. 

Even writers need to be reminded that that's how art works. I get emotionally invested in things, too.  The idea of a "Casablanca" sequel is loathsome, even when thinking about it happening when the actors were still alive. This is in spite of a damn good novel by Michael Walsh that proved it was indeed possible! So there is a small part of me when it comes to "Top Gun" that says, "You nailed it on your first go-round. Why tempt fate?"

Still, I'll be helping them do exactly that next year when the film is released so it must not bother me that much~

The Best Thing I've Read from an Anthology's Guidelines Possibly Ever.

I don't usually name publications that haven't accepted my work or to whom I have not as of yet submitted my work but these people deserve a mention. I'm not a podcast person so they weren't even on my radar until I saw them in my Horror Tree email along with several other publishers accepting fiction.

Calling themselves "We Will Remember Freedom," they're pretty blunt about what they believe. In short, they're anarchists who oppose oppressive capitalism. Their name comes from an Ursula K Le Guin quote in which she says, "We'll need writers who can remember freedom" when hard times are upon us.

It doesn't matter if you agree with their point of view. Assuming you haven't turned off your brain because the previous paragraph mentions the words capitalism and oppressive in the same thought, you will realize why your hostility is irrelevant if you keep reading, especially if you're a writer. In their guidelines section, We Will Remember Freedom describes their payment structure in ways both wonderful and inspiring:

"We pay $.01USD per word upon acceptance. This is not a professional rate, and we are therefore primarily a reprint market. While we will consider fiction that has not appeared elsewhere, we suggest that if your story is good enough for us, it is probably good enough for someone who will pay you at least 8 cents per word and we encourage you to try submitting to those markets first. Authors should be paid for their labor. Once your work is out of exclusivity, or if you can’t find a better-paying home for it, send it on to us!"

SERIOUSLY???






That paragraph is filled with so much good that it momentarily instilled faith in my fellow human. I mean, it's gone now, but still...

Second Patreon Post for August.

This is starting to feel like work...or it would if I wasn't posting stuff that was already written some time ago.

Anyway, usual crap: Pledge at least one dollar per month and absorb the yummy goodness by clicking here.

How I Made an Ass of Myself and Other Fun Foibles.

Recently I wrote a post about the great science fiction writer Harlan Ellison. In it, I described him in glowing terms as essentially mercurial and a strong advocate for writers as artists and people that deserve to get paid for their work. The thing that prompted this was an ad for Ellison's short story collection "Under Glass," which he wrote in bookstore windows where the public could see him working. The whole idea was to serve as a living example of the fact that writing is work.

I knew about this before the ad came out; Ellison did this many years ago, after all. But the re-release prompted in me a need to point out the obvious: If you call yourself a writer and you don't appreciate the man's vast talent and willingness to defend not just the written word by the originators of those words, you probably aren't much of a writer. In fact, I'll go even further and say you probably just want to sell books to movie production companies.

The original post, which can be read by clicking here, was quite popular and viewed many times, helped in no small part by me sharing the link on a Harlan Ellison fan page via Facebook. And that, unfortunately, is where the title of this post comes in.

If you clicked on the hyperlink above that takes you to the ad for Ellison's short story collection, you also saw an image of the man himself writing in the window of a bookstore. On that image is the name of the photographer. When I first attempted to transfer the image of the ad onto this blog and failed, I decided that, since the photo had a clear copyright credit written across it in huge letters, I could upload the picture by itself and provide a link to the order site. Apparently, I was incorrect in my assessment, as the following message from the group's moderator made painfully clear:

"I've removed your post from the [page] because it has come to my attention that you do not have permission to use that copyrighted photograph of Harlan taken by Rod Searcey, who is also a member... As of this writing, the only other person or entity that has Rod's verified permission to use the photograph is Joe Stefko, specifically for Charnel House's upcoming publication of "Ellison Under Glass". Ironically, while you honor Harlan in your blog and point out his admonition to "pay the writer", you still helped yourself to the work of another artist, in this case a photographer, without paying for or acquiring permission, despite the very obvious copyright Rod marks on his images. Your blog is excellent, and I appreciate your sincere homage to Harlan, but there is any number of public domain photographs of Harlan out there that you could use instead of Rod's. Please change the image as soon as possible, and then you can post the link to your blog again on the... page. Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter."

 

Somehow my earnest attempt at honoring one of my writing idols had turned into a misguided copyright infringement situation. I confess my ignorance. I in no way understood that images used in advertising that are reprinted for the sole purpose of creating an extra platform for that advertising were an issue. I know I've done this before but it apparently never caught up to me until the one time it actually had the ability to hurt me professionally and personally.

 

Naturally I removed the image, which is why the current incarnation of the post no longer has one. Lesson learned. It's a lesson one would think I already learned when I was writing articles for different websites that required the use of public domain images only. So there it is, the tale of how I made an ass of myself.

 

But at least the group moderator called me a mensch and said he thought my blog was great. That was pretty cool.