America's Wang is Dangling: In a new development that should come as no surprise to anybody, the State of Florida has 1,412 confirmed cases of Coronavirus. That brings the death toll to 18. Now why do you suppose their cases skyrocketed? Could it be because their Governor kept one thumb in his mouth and the other in his ass when he should have followed WHO and CDC recommendations to shut down his fucking beaches? Instead, he thought he would wait a little while longer so idiots could party close to one another. God only knows how many of those people have left the state to go home and infect more of us. Meanwhile, Florida is dealing with a signifcant uptick, which is probably why
They Paved Paradise & Put up a Hospital: Suddenly, off in the distance, a new crop springs forth from the ground in Florida. It isn't edible or even decorative, it's a 250-capacity hospital. More specifically, it's a field hospital like the kind used during wartime. It isn't known if it will be for Covid-19 infected patients or an overfow facility for those who don't have the virus. And while the necessity is clear, the message being sent is muddled. Next time there's a pandemic or some other crisis, morons know their heedless partying will be rewarded with extra facilities. Happy birthday, humanity!
All the World's a Failed CEO's Playground: Donald Trump said -- who am I kidding? -- Donald Trump Tweeted that he basically wants the country back up and running by Easter, which is April 12th. Consulting his own "very big brain," the reality TV star turned president seems to think we can beat back a virus that has no antibodies or vaccine to combat it because 'Murica's colors don't run and there's money to made. He has demonsrated both a stunningly clueless grasp of the situation and a disgusting level of misguided self-preservation during the entire pandemic. Now he wants to ignore experts to whom his massive ego will not allow him to defer all in the name of keeping the economy going so he can try and win reelection in November. It is also possible his childlike state of mind preventrs him from truly comprehending the scope and magnitude of this. IN other words, Trump is literally the worst president in the history of the United States to be dealing with this crisis. It isn't "melodramatic" to say this idiot is going to get a lot of Americans killed.
"Pandemic" is just another word for "Party": The well-to-do town of Westport, Connecticut now has the highest amount of positive for Covid-19 people in the state. The reason seems to be partially due to a 40th birthday party that involved lots of people who then took the virus with them to other places. This was on March 5th, when we knew the virus was coming. So, while at least one official feels it's unfair for the media to have seized upon this story, it's difficult to ignore yet another collection of self-absorbed affluent assholes living as if they have no responsibility to their fellow humans. Because of this no doubt lovely soiree, a contagion has spread even faster. That doesn't mean they deserve some of the online abuse they've received but they definitely deserve harsh critcism for being no different than the simpletons at the beaches in Florida.
Are you there, God? It's me, Common Decency: One wonders if, when horror novelist Bentley Little wrote "The Store," he was inspired by Hobby Lobby. The arts and crafts chain, a non-essential business if ever there was one, is fighting tooth and claw to remain open in spite of the "stay and shelter" mandates occuring all over the United States. First there were the CEO's bullshit claims that his "prayer warrior" wife received a catchphrase from God that let them know they should stay open, which I wrote about previously. Now another leaked memo details the absolute evil that is Hobby Lobby's policy towards its employees. I will be writing a separate piece on that in the next day or so.
This is why we Call them Anti-vaxxers: Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear is pissed off, and rightly so. Recently, some vapid "Dr. Mom" type floated a question online wondering if anybody was planning "Coronavirus parties," where so-called mothers gather their children in the hopes that they all become horribly sick and build an immunity to the targeted disease. The woman was quickly criticized for even contemplating such an ass-stupid idea with a virus that humans have no immunity against, prompting her to use the same tired, logic-deficient "a mommy knows best" assertion that has brought back the old, cured diseases thanks to the anti-vax movement. How quickly idiotic concept turns into life-threatening execution. That's why the Governor of Kentucky is so upset. It isn't clear if this was an adult party or not but when it comes to Covid-19, that hardly makes a difference.
Governor Whitmer put her foot down on March 23rd and issued a mandate that all non-essential businesses close by midnight and everybody stay the hell home. Meanwhile, the grocery store across the street from my house was filled with people not maintaining a six foot distance. It was nice, however, to see fewer cars on the main road nearby. Considering Michigan's largest hospital system is nearly maxed out on beds and equipment, staying home is our only semblance of a defense against this thing. I can't believe I'm even writing this. It's like living in a medical thriller by Robin Cook or Michael Crichton, neither of whom I particularly care for. In fact, I really dislike those types of novels.
I always wanted to know what life was like in a science fictional universe, just not the kind that involved unbeatable diseases and clueless imbeciles running the show.
I wish I could tell you how my spirits are; I'm too numb. I think I'll end the Dispatch here.
Read the previous Dispatch here.
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