TV Shows I Was Really Into...Until I Wasn't.

Show: Game of Thrones

How Long I Lasted: One season and about three episodes into Season two.

Why I Stopped Watching: Two things: 1. The only character I cared about was dead, and 2. those damn baby dragons.

Show: The Walking Dead

How Long I Lasted: Four & a half seasons (Two Seasons too long)

Why I Stopped Watching: By season four, all of Frank Darabont's brilliance had faded and it became clear the show was written by sub-par intellects who only knownhow to repeat themselves every single year.

Show: Parks and Recreation

How Long I Lasted: 2.25 seasons.

Why I Stopped Watching: Started out funny but by season three, I felt a desperate hysteria creeping in. 

Show: 24

How Long I Lasted: Three seasons (4-6)

Why I Stopped Watching: It went from mildly clever to painfully ludicrous and beyond contrived.

Show: Supernatural

How Long I Lasted: Six seasons

Why I Stopped Watching: My TV broke and by the time I got a new one, I no longer cared.

Show: Justified

How Long I Lasted: Four Seasons.

Why I Stopped Watching: Took too long of a break between binge-watching seasons and lost the flow. 

Show: Better Call Saul

How Long I Lasted: Two seasons.

Why I Stopped Watching: It was no "Breaking Bad" and that became more and more obvious as it kept shying away from the more interesting elements of its predecessor. I'm sure it all pays off eventually but as of now, I don't really care.

Show: Agents of SHIELD.

How Long I Lasted: 3.5 Seasons.

Why I Stopped Watching: After a rocky, dull start, seasons two and three kicked into high gear with some amazing storytelling. Then season four turned into a listless, meandering mess.

Show: American Dad

How Long I Lasted: Unsure. At least four or five seasons.

Why I Stopped Watching: Once the show seemed to have lost interest in comedy and just started doing hamfisted surrealism, ya boy was out!

Show: Millenium

How Long I Lasted: Two seasons.

Why I Stopped Watching: After one hell of a setup at the conclusion of a second season the producers wrongly assumed would be their last, the show was renewed for a third season that was the clear result of network interference.

Show: Growing Pains

How Long I Lasted: 3/5 seasons.

Why I Stopped Watching: The whole purpose of the Mike Seaver character (Kirk Cameron before he became an insane religious fanatic) was to provide a counter-point to the button-down, conservative Eighties expectation of boys in the middle class. By having Mike suddenly become a college student, the entire premise of the show was betrayed and, believe me, it only got  worse from there. So many old man sweaters!

Show: Dallas

How Long I Lasted: Nine seasons

Why I Stopped Watching: The infamous "It was all a dream" dismissal of an entire season wasn't, in and of itself, so terrible, but it happened right after the strongest, most dynamic season since the early years. Unforgivable.

Show: Santa Barbara

How Long I Lasted: Three seasons.

Why I Stopped Watching: Yes, I watched a soap opera! I was really young, damn you! But even I couldn't handle so many different faces playing the same characters.

Show: Gotham

How Long I Lasted: Half a season.

Why I Stopped Watching: An intriguing premise simply cannot make up for so much uneven acting.

Show: Mad Men

How Long I Lasted: Two seasons.

Why I Stopped Watching: Once I realized the mystery surrounding Don Draper was the only thing holding my interest, season two became a laborious slog.

Idiotic Comments I've had to Correct on Yahoo News Article Comment Sections.

I have no idea why, but I still deign to look at and comment on Yahoo! news articles. It's a fascinating glimpse into the miasmic anus that is the human condition.  Morons feel empowered pre-2006 style to write some of the most hateful, reactionary crap because it is still anonymous. But it isn't just a repository for stupid points of view, it's also where knowledge and facts go to die. It's where I've come to believe the mentality that says facts are the same as opinions was born.

For instance, some windsock level intellect commenting on filmmaker/comic geek Kevin Smith's effusive praise of "Avengers: Endgame" wrote, "Maybe that’s why he doesn’t make movies anymore.. to busy watching other people’s Marvel movies." 

Never mind that he wrote "to busy," he also neglected to do a quick search of Smith's filmography to find out about the movie he just released a few months ago. 

Assumptions reign supreme, however. On another article about the "Star Wars" comic book that one guy took issue with, he wrote, "Millennials writing Star Wars is as bad as the remake movies that BOMB every year."
Never mind that the only Star Wars film that was considered a major disappointment was "Solo." There's also the fact that a quick glance at the comic writer's bio reveals he is 45, hardly a millennial. 

Perhaps my favorite and subjectively speaking the best in recent memory is the brain stem-challenged twit whose criticism of a commentary article amounted to, "So this article's headline..... questions whether the movie flopped.... yet the article comes to the conclusion it clearly did. Gotcha."
To that one, I merely replied, "Yes, that's how analysis...works."

All of this brings me to my good buddy, Phil, possibly the biggest idiot I've encountered since a certain would-be children's book author/podcaster who ran screaming on Facebook several years ago when I caught him using biased sources and manipulating his interviews.  Phil is a real piece of work, a lump of coal in a diamond mine, and he didn't go easy into the stupid night. 

It all started when he misinterpreted someone's point on an article about the upcoming controversial film, "The Hunt." I won't spend time synopsizing the film here, but you can read the article by clicking here.

When I dared mention Phil-baby's lack of comprehension, he replied, " don't care what he said. The movie is inciting violence and hatred. What happens when one of you ANTIFA whackos act out what is on screen? Take your masks off and show your face, don't hide behind masks and hidden meanings in movies."

I replied, "Wait, now I'm a member of ANTIFA because I pointed out your lack of comprehension? Shall I call you a Nazi because you don't listen to logic? Rather not." (This was me still attempting to be reasonable and hopefully show him how he'd allowed his misplaced passion to cause an unjust value judgment.)

He instantly became enlightened and contrite, replying, "well you can't teach stupid, so you are free to babble all you want. If you defend this movie, you are promoting violence and hate."

He was right, of course. My objective attempt to point out that he didn't even understand what the original meant was clearly an incitement of violence. Clarification=ANTIFA, after all. 

I must have really gotten to him, though, because he followed up by writing, "then why are you here? My position is clear, the movie promotes violence. You proceeded to attempt (poorly) to insult me. So what is your goal troll? Either you disagree w my opinion, which means you support the movie, or you are just a worthless troll. Which one?"

At this point, I felt like we'd bonded to the level where I could extend a compassionate voice to him. So, I naturally replied, "Phil Wow, you really are a moron. Just because your position is clear doesn't make it less idiotic. Just means you're clearly stupid and unable to grasp simple concepts. That's why I'm here. Because you're so incredibly unintelligent, it drew my attention like a moth to flame. Movies don't promote violence, they tell stories. Many of them are poorly made, but the purpose of art is to challenge social norms and make us question. You can't do that. I get it. You're a MAGA drone, which is far worse than a troll."

And he lovingly wrote, "ok if that is your view, you are ignorant. This movie isn't "challenging social norms", it is dangerously promoting violence against those w differing political views. This is an extremely dangerous message in these times, and if you support and think its ok, you are just as ridiculous as you sound here. I'm more educated than you could ever dream, so keep up your Yahoo trolling career."

Now, nobody besmirches my Yahoo trolling career. I make good money doing...Wait.

Anyway! I wrote back, "Phil being educated and being intelligent are not always the same thing and it would seem that you are living proof of that. So, you can bandy about your Internet University credentials all you want. The simple fact is you are woefully ignorant of how art works and therefore more dangerous to society than a stupid, gimmicky movie because somebody thought it was a good idea that you be allowed to vote."

I then follered up with, "Also, educated people don't make insane leaps of logic based on anecdotal observations. Ex. Calling someone a member of ANTIFA because they clarify another person's point."

He replied, "ok you are exhausting and really gonna hurt yourself w big words. If you choose to glorify violence as "art", then you can own the consequences of supporting such as ridiculous film."

And my final reply, "Phil I'm sorry, does the poor educated genius struggle with my so-called "big words"? If you're exhausted, go take a nap lil'' fella and the big folks can keep talking."

That was the last thing posted. I feel like I really made a difference. I just know Phil reformed his ways and stopped being a judgmental asshair. He embraced the ability to analyze objectively and is even now spreading what he learned to others of his kind in an attempt to guide humanity into a new era of enlightenment unseen since the lost continent of Atlantis hit a dinosaur and sank into the Louisiana Bayou!

Patreon Post #2 for February

The story I didn't want anybody to read...until now.

Read it here.

Another Positive Review

I ran across this review of the anthology "Classics Remixed Vol II" that refers to it as, "A very magnificent collection from a group of talented writers."

Kill Your Darlings...On Your Own Time.

Before I mention why I would never wear the T-shirt pictured above in today's dumbed-down, easily triggered world, permit me to provide a bit of free advertising for those who would, so I don't get accused of copyright violation again. Click here for the advertisement that provides you with the ability to buy an easily misinterpreted and misunderstood shirt.

"Kill Your Darlings" is a perfectly cromulent literary expression. Ironically, it came from a highly regarded author whose work has always left me cold. William Faulkner's famous quote dealt with reaching a point as a writer where one is no longer so emotionally attached to characters, sentences and ideas that it becomes impossible to kill, delete or erase one or more if the plot demands it. It's damn good advice and I have followed it pretty much since the beginning.

(For a comprehensive overview of the quote and its meaning, click here.)

"Somebody GOTS to die!" is my mantra when it comes to certain stories. For instance, whenever my "Infinity's Core" trilogy is published, not all of the characters I've grown to love will emerge unscathed. I'll let you decide what I mean by that. My point is, however, that I subscribe to that axiom with all my heart.

Wearing a shirt emblazoned with it is another--ahem--story entirely. To be blunt, there are far too many idiots in the world, and they are emboldened by social media where their fellow morons operate on pure emotion and reflex as opposed to reason and curiosity. These aforementioned mental furballs will view the shirt as an endorsement of killing people, probably women, and I'll likely be labeled an incel or...well, I can't think of much worse than an incel.

Gone are the days when I delighted in having to explain things to people. Back then, I sincerely believed people were genuinely curious and capable of understanding. Nowadays, people react with such manufactured outrage at mere word choices, it wouldn't surprise me if someone felt "triggered"by the word "kill." never mind that actual triggering involves real trauma and its resultant PTSD such as being abused as a child and suddenly witnessing a violent act. Half the triggered people haven't experienced a damn thing; they just want to be included.

Then there are those imbeciles who can't comprehend simple concepts and always seem poised to take whatever you say or write and turn it into something totally different. As I write this, I am embroiled elsewhere with a MAGA-head who labeled me a member of ANTIFA because I clarified someone else's point that he did not understand. Trying to help people not sound stupid has no become viewed as a hostile act.

So, as much as I like the shirt and its message, that's a no from me, dog.

First Patreon Post of February...

My Patreon features an excerpt from a Work-in-Progress.

Subscribe and read it here.

Another Forgotten Anthology

The anthology pictured to the left, fuzzy image and all, features a reprint of my short story, "The Party," which was maligned by at least one online critic when it originally appeared in the Triangulation anthology "Last Contact". Until now, I'd forgotten it ever saw print again. Looks like you can still order it here.

 



My Take on the Supposedly Controversial Superbowl Halftime Show

It was my first and, fates willing, last Superbowl. Never watched a game before, having loathed football all my life, and never gave two dry humps about the commercials (which I do not consider art) or the halftime shows. But I attended a party this year and got to see all of it.

I barely watched the game, the commercials left me cold, and the halftime show was so tame and bland that I looked up from several minutes of playing the host's arcade game and said to myself, "Damn, Regis. They're still performing?"

So, there ya have it. My take.

Classics Remixed II On Sale Now!

After a bit of a delay, no doubt to figure out how to make my story even more awesom-er, Left Hand Publishing's Classics Remixed Vol. II featuring my short story, "Gorgon Not Forgotten" is now available for ordering!

Click here to deets (That's hipster douche-bag for "details").

Now I can sit back and let somebody insult my work for a change.

Things That Make Me Wonder Why I Even Bother...

Here it is, the dumbest thing I've seen since the last dumbest thing!

And in case you're thinking that's somebody's satirical design, there is an actual book by an actual author that you can order by clicking here.

I don't usually single out what I consider bad ideas but some people take the "write what you know" axiom too far! But of course readers with lower levels of expectation will flock to these types of gimmicky tales, especially if they feel it represents a group that has not been acknowledged in the genre...such as soccer moms. An this ain't your average, Karen-haircut-sportin', manager-demanding, throw a fit when Starbucks is out of her favorite drink soccer mom. This one is straight out of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer mold.

It's one of those ideas I'll readily admit having had at least once before ultimately dismissing it as derivative and lacking in the potential for genuine drama. But that's me. We've already established that I am unnecessarily hard on myself when it comes to striving for originality and avoiding tropes. Obviously I don't always succeed, but when something is so ludicrously on the nose, it gets discarded quickly and tossed in the embarrassment bin with its poorly wrought brethren. However, ideas are but one component of the fiction-creating process. What about the writing?

Fortunately, there is a sample provided of "Blackrose" prose. I read most of chapter one. It certainly isn't terrible, although the dialogue's sole purpose seems to be to give us all the backstory that would be better provided in descriptive paragraphs interspersed with dialogue. Of course, I'm looking through the eyes of a writer and editor, not an escape seeking soccer mom who simply wants easily understood adventure. And that is the audience here.

So, even though I think it's a dumb idea and am unimpressed with its execution, the book has thirteen positive reviews...all written by women who look like they could be the lead character, but still. She has successfully tapped into a demographic that likes what she's doing. If you're writing specifically for entertainment, what more could you hope for?

A better idea and a more demanding readership, that's what.