Ten Common Misconceptions About Libraries

Having now worked in three libraries (four if you count the other branch of one of them) I feel qualified to present a list like this. The misconceptions manifest themselves not only from the patrons who come in and out but also the new hires who have an entirely incorrect view of what working for a library will be like. The list is in no particular order of importance and is certainly not at all comprehensive.

]Trust me, for every item I include, I have left out an average of two more.

The list follows:

• Libraries are quiet places where Librarians will "shush" you if you get too loud- Not anymore. Libraries transformed about twenty years ago into often bustling but rarely totally quiet gathering places with quiet areas. Also, Librarians shushing has become a rarity because so many people nowadays don't think they should be told what to do and are ready to fight about it.
• Nobody really goes to libraries anymore- Are you enjoying your trip to the Nineties? When you get back, take a trip to an average library located in a city or town with a significant population and tell me how many people you see. Assuming you can make it around all the people standing in the lobby yelling into their cell phones and setting off the alarm with items that weren't checked out properly. Each library I work for averages hundreds of people per day.
• You basically get to sit around and read until someone comes up and asks you a question- Here's a challenge: Apply for a job at a library that isn't staffed with five people in a tiny town and tell me how that works out for you. There may be times when you are actually uninterrupted. Cherish those times. They aren't going to happen often. 
• All you do all day is hand people books and update their library cards, right? If you're lucky! (You're never lucky, by the way) The intricate workings of libraries are known only to a select few. When an outsider learns of them, we must kill them lest people find out what we really do to keep these places operational. Happy borrowing! MUUUU HAAA HAAA HAAA!
• Everybody who works at a library is a Librarian- This one is true because everyone who works at a hospital is also a doctor. Actually, Librarians tend to constitute anywhere from half to a quarter of the staff. Depending on the library, some of those people serving in Librarian capacities aren't Librarians at all. But the kindly, beleaguered folks at the Circulation Desk (like me) most definitely are not. Imagine a law firm where everyone was a lawyer! What would get done? Bickering and a whole lot of, "I didn't go to school to" speeches. Wait. Maybe everybody is a Librarian!
• Libraries get all their loaning materials through donations so we shouldn't have to pay for them if we don't return them because they were free in the first place- This is a misconception even I had at one time. Not the latter but definitely the former. And while it is true that a tiny portion of a library's collection comes from donations, the majority of it comes from the same method you would use: Cash money, y'all! Each department is allocated a budget to order materials throughout the year, so when you vote against that millage renewal or increase, don't moan when the new Fast and Furious movie isn't available.
• I can walk into any library and get a library card- This is a regional issue. On the West Coast the libraries tend to all be connected, meaning one card works in the entire state. Where I live, however, that is not the case at all. You have to obtain your library card in the city you pay your property taxes attend school or work. 
• If I use a self-checkout machine, I will put someone out of work- Absolutely not! Please use a self-checkout machine! Not only does it cut down on the lines (which are often long in direct contradiction to the second misconception) but it frees those of us in Circulation to get other tasks done, including those that take longer than a few seconds per patron.
• I can watch porn on a library computer and they're ain't nuttin' they can do to me, see!- Nope. Okay, kinda. Here's how it works. You can't technically be kicked out of the library for watching pornography, but if
  someone complains, including an employee, you're out the door. Usually this comes with a limited-time suspension with an option to be kicked out for longer and even for good if you do it again. For Christ's sake, get a Smartphone!
• Libraries are sustained by my taxes- Sure, why not? That hundred bucks a year from each household can easily sustain the salaries, technological requirements and materials ordering of your typical library. There's even change left over to buy everybody a new car. Seriously? Do I even need to point out how wrong that is? Libraries are sustained by a combination of federal funds (the current president is trying very hard to eliminate this) donations, grants, millage tax and a host of other sources and methods. Your small contribution is appreciated and necessary but it isn't enough to keep libraries open.

Again, this list if mostly off the top of my head. It's also from a Circulation Department person's perspective, which I feel has been woefully underrepresented.