With the constant barrage of blockbuster films
assaulting our senses these days, I have been thinking back to another
blockbuster-filled decade and wondering how many of these current films will
stand the test of time as poorly as so many of those. Will people still use
words such as “awesome” to describe “Iron Man” or the “Lord of the Rings” films
in ten or fifteen years? Here are ten films people considered to be pretty damn
incredible at the time that have not aged well at all:
The
Fugitive- When news of this Harrison Ford starring remake of
the classic TV series dropped, I’ll admit to reacting bitterly. After all, I’d
already started work on a script with Dennis Quaid in mind (A Harrison Ford
type to my way of thinking) and it was a far more grounded treatment than what
we got. At the time, the film seemed exciting and riveting, but age has
revealed it to be overblown and suffering from a ludicrous third act reveal.
Speed-
Okay, I hated this one from the outset, but even I thought it had some
production level merits. Not anymore. It was yet another overwrought descent
into laughable mediocrity, featuring Dennis Hopper is an embarrassingly awful
scenery chewing performance and more clichéd dialogue on that stupid bus than
one would find in a screenwriting class.
Demolition
Man-
What once seemed like a refreshingly humorous take on a tired genre now feels
forced, loud and severely compromised. Stallone’s fish out of water is fine but
Snipes’ overacting is painful to watch.
Forrest
Gump-
I’m pretty sure this movie makes everybody’s list of overrated schlock. What a
cloying piece of sentimental rubbish. Hanks has never been worse and neither
has Zemeckis.
Titanic-
Bill Paxton once referred to this movie as a 3-hour “romance novel crap-a-thon”
in an SNL skit. Whether he meant it or not, he was right. Frankly, at the risk
of offending idiots, they’re the only ones who could possibly still think this
historical bastardization that was obviously filmed on a soundstage was anything
other than James Cameron’s massive ego run amok.
The
Matrix- Oh, look. It’s Keanu Reeves again. Never mind the
fact that he seems to have just recently learned to act. Nobody could have
changed my opinion of this pretentious, over-the-top pile of drek.
Jurassic
Park-
I never understand what thrilled people about this lackluster, phoned-in excuse
to introduce people to the next generation of CGI. The story was dull, the
action was stagey, the acting was better than the material and the dinosaurs
failed to impress. Looking at it now, the skeletal plot and dull resolution
remind us that it really was an excuse to practice using new technology. Boys
and their toys…
The
Silence of the Lambs- If ever one needs an example of bad
melodramatic Nineties acting and “Face/Off” isn’t available, look no further
than this overrated glorification of serial killers. Anthony Hopkins, an actor
I’ve always found rather iffy, chews scenery so hard I’m surprised he still has
his teeth. Taking a character another actor infused with a quiet, subtle dread
and turning it into a farcical mockery must be a talent. The less said about an
apparently half-asleep Jodie Foster the better.
Braveheart-
Mel
Gibson is a very good director, despite his personal problems, but this is not
the movie to showcase his talent. While his acting in the film is quite good
(everyone’s is) the visuals are so textbook symbolic and silly the movie
suffers from an overabundance of self-indulgence. If not for the admittedly
kick-ass battle sequences, this woefully inaccurate portrayal with its
cartoonishly evil English and virtuous Scots would be a complete waste.
Men
in Black- Here’s an idea: Let’s take something people have
been reporting seeing for decades in the most negative manner possible, and
turn them into a pale reflection of the Ghostbusters. Let’s make the aliens wacky and almost
harmless and throw a bunch of one-liners at everybody. Oh, and let’s make sure
the movie is plotless. The only saving grace for this movie is that by the
third installment, all involved had apparently learned how to make an actual
movie with a plot.
No comments:
Post a Comment