"The concept is actually pretty good but there's too much telling and not enough showing. There's a lot in here you're trying to convey in 2,000 words, and so you're having to just recap for the reader instead of showing actual emotionally involving scenes that let the reader reach his own conclusion. You're losing your readers at the beginning. It's no criticism of your writing style and skill - I don't think even the best of the best SF writers could cover as much of a story you're trying to tell in so few words. There's a bit of unsolicited advice, but I think unsolicited advice is better than a form "no".
Please send me more soon!"
All writers have occasionally been guilty of too much telling in their work. It's always good to get a personal rejection and the encouragement to send more is heartening as well. But am I wrong in feeling that the main issue was that the story was too ambitious?
All writers have occasionally been guilty of too much telling in their work. It's always good to get a personal rejection and the encouragement to send more is heartening as well. But am I wrong in feeling that the main issue was that the story was too ambitious?
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