New Scientist Magazine is currently running a contest seeking submissions from people interested in re-writing moon landing history. The only requirement is that the author of the quote or quotes come up with something memorable for Neil Armstrong's famous speech from the lunar surface in place of his "One small step for man" quote.
I heard about this contest from a Facebook friend who posted his own submission there. I thought I'd do the same here, since I literally just sent mine off.
Neil Armstrong quotes (What he might have said):
“That’s one small step for man, one giant…Oh, Zsa Zsa says “’hi.’”
“Hello from the moon…that boom mike was there when we landed!”
“All those billions to find out this place isn’t made of edible cheese!”
“Hey, Joe! Up here even a lard-ass like you would be weightless!”
“I don’t want to alarm anyone but there are Republicans here.”
“Okay, let’s start unloading the nukes and aiming them for the Soviet…Is this thing on???”
“I never wanted to be an astronaut, I was more interested in floral design but my father was so very, very cruel…anyway, there it is, a big lifeless rock. Check, please!”
“I came up with a song about the Dark Side of the moon I’m gonna write when I get back to Earth. Nobody better steal my idea!”
“Looks like we finally found that storage area for hippy agitators!”
If you're interested, you can send your own submissions to: