FINISH THE DAMN SENTENCE (Swiped from Priscilla)

1. I've come to realize that my last kiss......What does this mean? Am I supposed to be analyzing kisses? What kind of turd-like robotic creature does that? Sad.

2. I am listening to... The insipid, whiney sounds of customers with unrealistic expectations who somehow seem pleased with their experiences when they are finished talking to me.

3. I talk......But no one really listens.

4. I love......But no one really believes it.

5. My best friend......Showed himself to be quite the stand-up guy recently.

6. My first real kiss...Transported me to a land populated by leprechauns and talking bunny rabbits, where the light of the world was sparked by the smiles of the happy people and nowhere was their pain or suffering. Then I had my first sexual experience and everybody was disappointed.

7. Love is......A closing door. That's a line from a song I wrote some years ago. If you're wondering about the next line, it rhymes with door, refers to a woman who performs sex acts for money, and is preceded by the word "lying."

8. Marriage is......What people make of it which, from observation, is something truly annoying and cult-like, especially if you're a member of Degeneration-X and below.

9. Somewhere, someone is thinking....... "Chris Nadeau undertstands me. He really gets me. Some day I'm going to hide under his bed and cut off his skin so I can wear it and we can become one. But first, would you like fries with that?"

10. I'll always be grateful for......The little things that make life worth living. The old lady sliding on the ice whose feet fly upwards at an angle as she hits the ground, mostly unhurt. Roadkill and the fascinaing stains it leaves in my street during seasonal changes. Neo-cons and their insane ramblings that make mine sound so much more rational. Organized religion, because it breeds the sort of discontent I require for my anarchy movement. Oh, and movie theater popcorn!

11. The last time I really cried was because...... I was relieved that she wasn't still in bed with me in the morning. Ba-dump-dump! Honestly, I was drunk so I don't remember the exact reason: I think it had something to do with the fact that I couldn't feel my extremities and I was dangling from the back of a turnip truck on the interstate. But I won't bore you with the rest of a story to which everyone can relate.

12. My cell phone........ kicks ass! And I'm not just saying that because I work for the company that sells it, I'm also saying it 'cause I don't wanna lose my job!

13. When I wake up in the morning......My feet hurt.

14. Before I go to bed...... I like to read. Some day perhaps someone will teach me how.

15. Right now I am thinking about....another blogger.

16. Babies are...... demonic beings whose true purpose is to enslave the human race and then morph into the very slaves they're creating. DON'T STEAL MY IDEA!!! NORA!!!

17. I get on Myspace...... and shake my head in disgust.

18. Today I..... am alone with my thoughts; get the turnip truck ready.

19. Tomorrow I will be.... listening to the insipid, whiney sounds of customers with unrealistic expectations who somehow seem pleased with their experiences when they are finished talking to me

20. I really want to be.....at peace.

21. Someone that will most likely repost this is...... Hopefully Nora, my colleague and drinking buddy.