The Derp is Palpable: People Protesting Safety from a Pandemic

What if some self-righteous twit gave a mass protest against supposed governmental overreach and almost nobody came? While sadly that was not the case in Michigan where far too many clueless folk, many of them, it turns out, were from other states, turned out to protest the governor's attempts to safeguard her constitutens from grizzly deaths, the organizers in Maryland weren't so lucky.

Brad Bell, Maryland bureau chief for ABC 7 News

This photo, uploaded to Twitter by ABC News 7 Maryland Bureau Chief Brad Bell tells an interesting non-story. According to Bell, only three people were present two hours into the "event's" planned start time. Obviously three guys can't storm the capitol, not even...

THIS BAD MOFO RIGHT HERE!

Pic obtainred via Raw Story

Let's leave the Maryland protest behind for a moment. Why should we be any different than the majority of residents? Instead, let's return to my homestate of Michigan, where I am reluctant to ascribe the word "succesful" to the absolute stupidity involved in the protest that occured here in the state's capitol. However, in terms of sheer numbers and being heard, it was indeed a success.But who really benefited from it since nothing changed and, as the governor has made clear, isn't going to based on what Salon.com referred to as the "Michigan Manbabies."

Initially, reaction to Governor Whitmer's claims that the Devos family was involved in the protests was critical, prompting her to walk the comments back. She needn't have bothered. It's been verified several times over that the Devos backed Michigan Conservative Coalition was a major player in last week's demonstration. Naturally the group is claiming the Devos Dynasty had nothin' to do with nothin'.

One wonders just what the hell they think they accomplished, however. Despite how they feel about what they did, here's a quick list of what the protest did for them and, sadly, for those of with the sense God gave circus fleas:

• Increased the liklihood of viral spread thanks to many of the protestors violating the rule regarding staying in their vehicles by standing close to one another.
• Provided those of us who oppose their narrow-minded ideology a handy list of businesses to avoid patronizing.
• Showed the entire world that, when it comes down to it, Michigan is no better than Florida when it comes to having an enormous amount of lunatics.
• Did a really good job of preventing ambulances from getting through the sea of protestor vehicles.
• Sounded really, really stupid and uneducated on every news broadcast, especially the woman who yelled, "Hi, Melania!" because obviously the First Lady was watching.

"Operation: Gridlock" protests are springing up all over the nation now because people are dumb and bored. And it's the same sad story in every state: People displaying a woeful ignorance of science who wrongly assume flattening the curve means it's time to immediately resume their old lives, all while imploring governors they despise for various reasons to "trust" them to do the right thing.

Trust them as if they've earned anything except the exact opposite. In less than a month, these entitled brats calling themselves adults started throwing Trump-level tantrums so intense their rectums probably prolapsed. Less than a month. Thanks to a steady diet of Randian propaganda courtesy of irresponsible, witless twerps such as Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly, none of them seem capable of seeing this as a situation we're all in together. The concept of civil responsibility, of sacrifice beyond one's immediate family is as foreign to them as speaking a language other than American English.

Unfortunately, there is no way they're going to suddenly experience an epiphany and conclude that their actions are harmful, inconsiderate, immature and embarrassing. This might feel like a movie but it isn't one. There's no requirement for character growth in the real world. These people are static, in a constant state of stasis. In other words, for want of a better term, they're what the powerful people manipulating them refer to as "useful idiots."

If that seems harsh, let's conclude with the words of the Colorado group currently planning its on Virus Spreaders 2020 event:

“We have won the battle of flattening the curve, and We the People demand freedom immediately to maintain our social, economic, and spiritual strength for the long haul.”

Open Letter to the Participants of "Operation: Gridlock"

Dear Inconsiderate, Uncaring, Self-Absorbed Children,

This video probably makes you feel proud. Actually, anything where you can be seen acting like spoiled fools probably accomplishes that and, thanks to the Internet, you can gain that satisfaction pretty much as often as you would like. And while I recognize the inherent risk of providing yet another, albeit smaller format for your stupidity, the gain from exposing you far outweighs it.

As I wrote two posts prior, yours is a movement filled with ill-informed, selfish, ignorant people who value the economy above the well-being of your fellow human beings. Many of you aren't shy about admitting it, either. Take this prize-winning scholar, for example who,  a woman asked him how he felt about doing exactly what is pictured to the left, referred to her as a "fat lesbian" and the "C word":

I know this person's identity and the city he lives in (I have the non-blacked out version) but unlike him and his ilk, I would not post his identity because I believe in actual Freedom, not "Freedumb." Besides, he's certainly not alone, as there are tons of complete pricks just like him espousing similar if not identical douchenozzlery. Apparently, using ANTIFA as some sort of example to justify your own behavior is favored by your movement as well. Basically, you're using a group of extreme left-wingers you despise and find morally bankrupt as your model of behavior. That just shows those of us who are reasonable how intellectually stunted and hypocritical most of you are.

Of course, it's doesn't help that you have opportunistic bastards like this encouraging your stupidity:

I expect this kind of irresponsible rhetoric from bought-and-paid for lowlives like him, but you're supposed to be real people dealing with real-life situations such as the biggest pandemic since 1918. Oh, right. It's all being exaggerrated and blown way out of proportion so the Governor can use fear to launch a coupe de tat against the occupant of the White House who issued similar stay-at-home edicts. The conspiracy theories that have resulted from this are legendary. Here are a few of the truly idiotic ones that you probably believe:

• All hospitals and their workers are part of a vast concpiracy to inflate the numbers of the dead for...reasons.
• This is really the result of 5G technology.
• Bill Gates wants to create a "digitial vaccine" so he can track our every moment. etc.
• The liberal governors (anybody who isn't a Trump ass-kisser) are working in tandem to overthrow the federal government by using the virus as a springbaord for taking away "our freedoms."
• Covid-19 was created in a lab as a weapon or a form of population control.
• The virus was created by Democrats, presumabley with the cooperation of several other countries,to "stop President Trump" because he's so damn awesome.
• (This one is the best!) It's part of a long-range plan to turn people into cyborgs!

Under normal circumstances, all of those would be prime fodder for lots and lots of amusing quips and you would be easily dismissed as mental furballs. But online culture has emboldended all of you and turned you into more of a unified uber-twit, ready to do battle for the right to not be mildly inconvenienced from mowing lawns and planting gardens in 30-degree temperatures. Boy, you're really showing that commie Whitmer by creating a traffic jam in the capitol!

I'm sure you take great pride in causing ambulances carrying people who might be dying to slow to a crawl because your cars are in the way. I'm sure you take great pleasure in defying social distancing guidelines like rebellious teenagers, at least until you start feeling sick in a couple weeks. I'm not wishing that on you, that's just how the virus works. And you are basically inviting it in by doing everything you can to show that supposed "dicatator" in Lansing. 

If you see her as a tyrant, you must have been seriously pissed off when Trump declared he has "total authority." No? Gee, I wonder why not? You dislike fascism in all its forms, right? Not just when it has lady parts and you didn't vote for it?

Well, leaving aside that unsolvable mystery, I would honestly like to thank you for something. You have done an excellent job of revealing who and, more importantly, what you are. Now we know your names, what many of you do for a living, and what towns and cities you live in. Now we know who won't be getting our business, who we don't want to work for or working for us, and for damn sure who we don't want to live next door to. For that invaluable gift, I am truly grateful.

To the obvious white supremacists among you, the so-called "Proud Boys" who have nothing to be proud of except their false perception that a skin color makes one superior, we see you, too. And despite all the anti-female horseshit that spews forth from the orifices located beneath your noses, despite all the abusive rhetoric you employ against Governor Whitmer, guess what?

So, suck it up, Baby Hitler!

Quote of the Week

This one gets awarded to a member of the "Michiganders for Staying Home to Defeat Covid-19 facebook page in reference to the ridiculous "demonstration" against Governor Whitmer's stay-the-hell-home order:

If you have to protest at an empty Capital 🏛from your Car 🚗wearing a Mask 😷it might not be the best time to #OpenMichigan

Dispatches From the Coronavirus Days #12- Idiot Edition

There's a reason my home state of Michigan was home to the Militia movement of the Nineties and that reason has been hammered home repeatedly by the insanity and abject stupidity coming from the group of people who find a stay-at-home quarantine extention to be an attack on their liberties. And what are those liberties, exactly? I think I'll let the words of those opposed to the health and well-being of their fellow humans explain it to you:

On the Facebook page "Michiganders Against Excessive Quartine" someone posted an article from some bullshit site with a headline declaring that only Trump can reopen the country. Below that, some scholar commented," Please do so Sir. Our grezy Country was not met to be on lockdown like this. Time to Make America Great again. We can't do our part under house arrest."

House arrest. That's how these acolytes of Ayn Rand, half of whom probably never heard of her, consider quarantine in the midst of the worst global epidemic since 1918!

Another comment seemed to find the need to equate gay marriage with Covid 19. She wrote, "I remember when we voted as a state, "One Man, One Woman" marriage for our state, federal government under Obama changed it."

Clearly gays wanting equal rights is where this virus came from. The China thing is little more than a cover story for the Gay Mafia's Deepstate Illuminati 5G agenda.

Another person, agreeing that "libruls" need fear to govern (an ironic statement if ever there was one) commented, "Fear is really, really rambid right now and I believe that's all part of the plan!"

I don't know who "Rambid" is, but apparently he has a lot to answer for! Kinda sounds like a French villain in a James Bond movie.

But fear not. This "movement" has a ringleader and he is no disappointment. Looking for all the world like a sleazy used car salesman who moonlights as a Prosperity Gospel preacher, Garrett Soldano is single-handedly fanning the flames of idiocy. Soldano is a practicing chiropractor for whatever that's worth in this situation. I guess because he has "doctor" before his name, that makes him the go-to expert on pandemics for the anti-quarantine crowd. I know that next time one hits, my first stop will be a guy who works on the body's "meridians." However, if you remain unconvinced by his choice of medical practice, he also lists himself on Twitter as, ""AN ENTREPRENEUR, AUTHOR, PHILANTHROPIST, AND A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER."

Sensing his time to shine, Soldano is over all the interwebs telling Michigan residents to "stand tall" against the Governor's attempts to halt the spread of the virus because the economy is more important than people not dying. He also does daily video updates on the aforementioned Facebook page lest anyone start thinking he's a smug, self-promoting opportunist who is seizing a moment for his own personal gain. And naturally, all the ill-informed, selfish residents of Michigan are flocking to this individual for guidance in uncertain times. I guess nothing screams "Constitutional Expert" like a guy who cracks backs and peddles holistic remedies. He won't mind my saying this because, in his own words, "...our fight for our Constitutional rights gets fanned HOTTER by every hate comment against us."

These people aren't limiting their protests to Facebook, however. They're planning a "march" of sorts on April 15th. But instead of standing outside, they plan to gridlock the state capitol in Lansing. So, they're protesting a quarantine by quarantining themselves. Feel free to reread that previous sentence as many times as you need.

So much of this insane rambling can be traced back to the Michigan Militia, a group of alarmist anti-gubmint types who basically shot off guns in the forest, wore fatigues and poisoned the minds of their fellow Michiganders. Now we're dealing with their inheritors.

We can only hope the people with sense still outnumber them.

Dispatches from the Coronavirus Days #11

I have now been under self-quarantine since March 15th and work-from-home status since March 17th. I have left the house a few times; early on, before we really understood the enormity of the Covid-19 outbreak, I ventured inside a store or two, disgusted by the lack of seriousness with which people were greeting this pandemic. It has been weeks since I stepped inside a structure now, my few jaunts only occuring whenever presciptions were needed and, only then, at the drive-up window.

I'm not sick. I could be asymptomatic but how would I know? My wife was sick before the "stay home, stay safe" order from Governor Whitmer, making things even more uncertain in my household. We don't think she had Covid-19 but since the hospitals aren' t seeing people for anything that isn't life-threatening, it's impossible to know for sure.

What can I tell you about my state-of-mind? I suppose it could be worse. As the popualr article and memes will tell you, we Gen-X'ers are easily the most predisposed to having to keep our asses at home for extended periods of time. It's how most of us spent our childhoods, especially the teen years. Honestly, this for me just feels like a weekday in summer that somehow got extended. The difference is, though, I could leave the house back then. I could hop on my bike and go to the store and actually walk inside and touch things and buy them and bring them home and...well, you get the idea. The only way I can do that stuff now is armed with a cannister of Lysol disinfectant wipes, a mask, rubber gloves and a full body condom!

"This, too, shall pass," right? I mean, if it's in the Bible...Okay, I can't in good conscience finish that sentence but enjoy whatever is your takeaway.

I try to tell myself the above sentiment, but then I look across the street at all the people who are still crowding into the grocery stores. I need to eat, too. My wife and I have been waiting over a week for our delivery service; we finally opted to do a pickup, thereby increasing the risk factor. But I'm not entering the building because I'm not a moron. I know this because my mom told me so.

I suppose my fear is that as time passes, the act of being outside of the house will become foreign and undesirable to me. The other day while cleaning, I took trash out to the receptacles in the backyard, where the sun shone down on me rather intensely. I stood in place and let the rays hit me for several minutes, blinded, deciding this must be how plants feel when they're bombarded with life-giving solar rays. Then I went back inside.

(In case you're wondering, the image above is a meme that's going around as a response to President Trump's dismissive comments regarding the Governor of Michigan.)

Hobby Lobby lets Employees go Without Pay and Defies Orders to Stay Closed

In a move that was surely designed to display Hobby Lobby CEO David Green's obvious belief that God appreciates pure evil, a mentality in direct contradiction to all accepted views on Christian theology, the arts and craft superstore has both fired people without benefits due to the Covid-19 pandemic and reopened stores in defiance of it.

Green and his non-essential business have been a study in contradictions since anyone can remember, but this pandemic has really thrown a blacklight on just what a lowlife he is and how his company reflects that. Initially, Hobby Lobby chose to stand firm on not closing no matter what. Why did they do that? Simple. Green's "prayer warrior" wife had a vision from God that arrived in a convenient, three-word catch-phrase that sounded suspiciously like a sales seminar. This inspired Green to send off a memo telling everybody who worked for him that they weren't closing.

Then reality set in and he changed his tune...temporarily. The resultant backlash to Hobby Lobby's decision to resist CDC and WHO guidelines left Green unfazed. In Oklahoma, for example, the company simply redefined "essential" by claiming their corporate office fell under the "cyber security and infrastructure agency" category, which at least one employee annonymously said they do not. 

As far as the stores were concerned, emails such as the one pictured below tell a rather bleak story:

\The language used here is almost fascinating: "This layoff is permanent," stands out in particular. The final sentence is also telling, as it essentially closes the door to the possibility of bringing the person back while wishing them all the best. Thankfully, the entire thing is peppered with standard issue "this hurts me more than it does you" rhetoric to make the (former) employee feel that wondrous combination of dejection and despair.

Yet the story doesn't end there. Being the true-to-life Bentley Little novel that it is, Hobby Lobby, in its serpent-like way, slithered out of the light of reason and compassion to reopen stores in at least two states. Talking points have been given to the managers for when law officers arrive questioning just what the hell they think they're doing and one store was actually boarded up by police in Wisconsin after reopening two on March 30th.

And still the passive-aggressive defiance continues. In Indiana, police forced a store to close after it reopened. The information employees say they're receiving from on high is contradictory, first agreeing that Hobby Lobby is not essential and later saying they are essential as a pretext for reopening. They're also cutting hours, meaning the necessary sanitizing is not getting done. 

One employee put it best when they said:

"There is absolutely nothing in Hobby Lobby worth spreading this illness. I'm honestly appalled at this company and the way it doesn't care for its employees and only about making their money."

Lowlives such as David Green are what American society tells us to admire. Why we should admire someone who couldn't care less about human beings who might  die horribly is as baffling as his claims that a kind and loving god would want people to keep being exposed to a deadly virus in order to sell arts and crafts. 

This is what happens when vulture capitalism and religious fantacism encounter tragedy.