COMING SOON!

Quote of the Day

"Not gonna miss Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes. His famous “Did ya ever notice” shoulda been followed by “I haven’t been relevant since the 70s?”

-----Lisa Lampanelli

Some Pics from the GLAHW Monster Mash for Literacy Bash

It was the first Halloween party I've ever attended and I had a ball. Below are some of the highlighted costumes, including mine. It was one hell of a turnout!



An early crowd scene with Facebook Guy & Zombie Jesus at the center.










Zombie Jesus steady pimpin'!












Great Lakes Association of Horror Writers mucky-muck Michael Cieslak (Right) as a statue or God or something posing with a fairy. (Looks like he's in pain)




















Peggy Christie, another GLAHW mucky-muck, as a nurse from "Silent Hill," who also won Scariest Costume.
















The fairy again, this time with someone who also looks cool.



















Lorie Wallace with her throat gouged out and blood running into her ample bosoms. Wasn't it nice of her to still make it to the party after being attacked? Even without a costume, she was radiant!






















Ghostlight Magazine editor Montilee Stormer (also a GLAHW upper echelon) pictured her standing betwixt Zombie Dad with Baby and good ol' Zombie Hay-Soos. She won sexiest costume...I was robbed!


And finally, here's me as...
















An illiterate sign-totin' teabagger! Note the poorly worded sign, America-centric shirt, dopey look, and ummm, grey eye make-up...Also take special note of the teabag earrings, which were difficult to keep on all night!

How did I not win scariest costume!?

Publishing Update.

While I'm waiting for one final pic of the Great Lakes Association of Horror Writers Halloween Bash in order to post about it, I thought I'd provide the latest info regarding recently published works by yours truly.

Last week was a good one for me as far as published stories goes. I had three things become available by week's end.

First came "Midnight Service," which is available in the Open Casket Press anthology, Dead Christmas. It's the tale of a hapless pizza delivery guy who is captured and forced to watch as an insane minister's equally insane plan to resurrect his savior using black magic unfolds on Christmas Eve.

Next came "Flame1o1," which can be accessed and read for free at The Horror Zine. It's the tale of an internet message board debate that turns into something otherworldly and deadly. Feedback on this one is that it's even creepier than I'd hoped.

Finally, "Across the Pond," a story I wrote quite some time ago, arrived contained within the GLAHW anthology Erie Tales: Tales of the Apocalypse. This is my heavy-handed social commentary piece about a young boy whose callous decision creates a ripple effect of disaster for civilization.

Last week stated out so slowly and a few recent rejections had put me into a bit of a fog, so it was nice to get the triple whammy.

Halloween Round-up!

Yee-hawww! Since it's Halloween, the holiday so many are a'tryin' to so hard to replace Christmas with, I thought I'd invite you to mosey on over to a few places and check out some scaaarryyyy stories from this hombre!

If you got one them newfangled Kindles, check out my non-gory tale set in the Depression called "Destiny & Home-Made Apple Pie."

And if you're one of them fancy book-learnin' types, you probably hate "Twlight," so you might enjoy this here pair-O-dee called "Dusk." (This one ain't gory neither! It's meant to be funny.)

If you're a cheapskate, you'll be glad to know they's a couple free stories available at the Horror Zine! First up is "Always Say Treat," which just got see-lected as one of the best of the year and the newly published "Flame101," which oughtta scare the britches off anybody what's ever got into a internet dee-bate!

Now, if you're real ambitious-like and don't mind readin' a buncha other folks' stuff, here's a list of scary tales that're sure to make you wet your saddle!

Read "Toilet Bums" here.
Read "Soul-Mate Express" here.
Read "Midnight Service" here.

They's plenty more but this cow-poke's tired of typin'!

Happy Halloween!

Publishing Update.

My short story "Midnight Service" about an insane, misguided minister of a small church trying to use black magic to resurrect his savior is in this anthology:




CHECK IT OUT!

Quote of the Day

" I lean so far to the left in my writing I'd fall off your knee."

-Sean Sweeney, a.ka. John Fitch V

Won't Someone Please Think of the Children???

I'm going to be reading my disturbingly popular Halloween-themed short story "Always Say Treat" to kids at the event pictured below:




Apparently, organizer Karena Wilkes thought it was a good idea to have me in a room full of impressionable young'ns!

I'll also be signing copies of "Dreamers at Infinity's Core" if anybody's interested.

An Interview with Ned & Ernie.

The following is a brief interview conducted with Ned & Ernie, the two main protagonists of Christopher Nadeau’s Infinity’s Core Saga. In this case, the guys discuss their feelings on “Dreamers at Infinity’s Core” and its upcoming sequel, as well as filling us in on what took place in the six months between:

INTERVIEWER: You guys certainly went through a lot when you faced off against the entities trying to escape Infinity’s Core. What can you tell us about that experience?

NED: It sucked.

ERNIE: Sucked ass!

INTERVIEW: Care to elaborate?

NED: I wouldn’t know where to start.

INTERVIEW: How about with the Cast?

NED: That’s a loaded question. We don’t really know much about the Cast, except they really seem to desire life.

ERNIE: And they don’t give a fuck who they have to kill to achieve it.

NED: There’s also that old chestnut.

INTERVIEWER: But what are they?

NED: (Sighs) Far as I can tell, they’re disembodied entities that exist in a place that isn’t really a place, sort of between realities, that seem to have hit upon the notion that latching onto the collective unconscious and using peoples’ imaginations as bridges will enable them to achieve physical life.

INTERVIEWER: Ernie, do you agree with that assessment?

ERNIE: Gimme a couple hours to consult a dictionary and I’ll tell you.

INTERVIEWER: Let’s switch gears a little and discuss the novelization of your adventure. How did you guys feel about the Nadeau novel.

NED: No comment.

ERNIE: It wasn’t bad. I guess. It sort’ve made me look like a foul-mouthed person though, and I don’t know where the fuck he got that from.

INTERVIEWER: Ned, was there anything about the novel you found unfair or inaccurate?

NED: Authors write things they way they see them. My version would have been different.

INTERVIEWER: Aside from the foul-mouthed aspect, Ernie, did you find the portrayal of events accurate in the novel?

ERNIE: Nobody could ever capture…Look, it’s like this. Once you’ve had those things inside your head, you’re never the same. You don’t see the world the same way. You don’t sleep like you used to sleep. Sometimes, you wake up and there are things in your room you don’t want to believe are real. Is the novel accurate? Fuck, man. I don’t even know what’s real anymore.

INTERVIEWER: So, obviously your experiences with the Core have left you significantly changed.

NED: That’s certainly not an understatement.

INTERVIEWER: What about the aftermath? What’s gone on since the big showdown in front of that small suburban home?

ERNIE: Life goes on.

NED: My novel is out now and the Religious Right is already having a field day. Aside from that and no longer working for Complete Maintenance, not much is going on with me.

ERNIE: Right, because everybody is living their dream. No news there!

NED: It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

ERNIE: Beats trying to find yourself in your thirties.

(The room grows silent, neither man willing to look at the other)

INTERVIEWER: What about your new acquaintance? Chad, right? Is he now an official member of the Core Veterans Society?

NED: He’s an official member of the Pain in the Ass Club. Does that count?

ERNIE: Ned doesn’t care much for Chad.

INTERVIEWER: Apparently not! What’s the main objection?

NED: (Shrugs) He pointed a gun at me.

INTERVIEW: But according to the novel, that was all a misunderstanding. He thought you guys were responsible for the Core opening up.

ERNIE: We were.

NED: Not entirely.

ERNIE: Still.

INTERVIEW: Ernie, you and Chad have since become friends, isn’t that right?

ERNIE: He’s not such a bad guy, once you get past the bitch-boy Goth thing.

NED: And the whiny voice.

ERNIE: And the stupid hair.

NED: And the constant pop culture references nobody cares about.

ERNIE: And the fact that he still won’t admit he’s a virgin.

INTERVIEW: Still, he proved to be rather….

NED: (Holds up a finger) And the fact that he thinks he’s smarter than everyone despite dressing like an undertaker from the Soho District.

INTERVIEW: Wow. He did turn out to be a great help though.

NED: He almost got us killed. He was the conduit through which the Cast planned to achieve life. Yeah, real big help there.

ERNIE: He didn’t know that. He thought…I don’t know what he thought. Dude’s a low-grade psychic.

NED: (Chuckles) Is that, like, the equivalent of middle management?

ERNIE: Yeah at a company with no dress code.

INTERVIEW: What about Madame Esmerelda?

NED: What about her?

INTERVIEW: Well, did she really look like Salma Hyaeck?

ERNIE: All I’ll say is, if there’s ever a movie, Salma is the only one I could see in the role.

INTERVIEW:Any idea what ever became of her?

NED: Nope. Don’t care either.

ERNIE: She disappeared after everything was over.

INTERVIEW: Is it true that you were in love with her?

ERNIE: ...some women present themselves as something other than what they are.

NED: Sometimes I wonder how much of that was her and how much was…anyway. With any luck, we’ll never see her again.

(Another long moment of silence)

INTERVIEWER: Are both of you aware that there is a second novel entitled “Echoes of Infinity’s Core” set to come out soon?

BOTH: Yeah.

INTERVIEWER: Do you know anything about it?

NED: Nobody consults us.

ERNIE: I plan to be as surprised as you are when I read it.

INTERVIEWER: I’d like to thank both of you for your time today. One final question: What, if anything, did you take away from your experience with the Core?

ERNIE: There’s a lot of shit we don’t understand, and he the shit we do understand isn’t always what we think it is. Once your eyes have been opened, you can’t close them anymore.

INTERVIEWER: What about you, Ned?

NED: The only justice, the only fairness, is what we create. The universe is a cold-hearted hellhole that will leave you empty unless you kick it in the ass and carve out your own corner of meaningfulness.

INTERVIEWER: What do you mean by that, exactly?

NED: I mean there comes a time when a person refuses to accept what others refer to as fate and take whatever action he deems necessary.

INTERVIEWER: Are you referring to what the novel depicted as the abrupt disappearance of the woman you loved?

NED: It’s late. Thanks for the interview.

Everybody...AWWWWWWW

Yes, that's my "dog" for want of a better term Gizmo, who somehow found a way to make his stuffed animal "Buddy" spoon him. Not sure if this is adorable or the first phase of a human race-ending upgrade in canine intelligence.

Tom Tomorrow Nails it Again!