Pics from my two recent speaking engagements

I appeared at the Downtown Main Branch of the Detroit Public Library two Saturdays in a row with my fellow Great Lakes Association of Horror Writers to discuss first the creative process and then getting published. See if you can tell which pic was taken on the day I was told I'd be speaking five minutes before the event started:















Oh, look. I have a power-point presentation and am looking down as if reading from prepared comments.





















Hmm. Not looking quite as relaxed as before...

















UH-oh, he's leaning on the podium, desperately seeking to establish eye-contact in order to compensate for a total lack of preparation!

Opening line:
Me: Hello.
Audience: Hello.
Me: That's about all I came prepared to say today so bear with me.









Of course, I was told it sounded like a prepared speech. A good time was had by all~

A NANO novel excerpt Michiganders should appreciate.

Before Munson could respond with further hostilities, the motorcycle rider pulled around them, moving into the opposite lane and was nearly struck head-on by a truck driver who laid on his horn and narrowly avoided hitting him. Seemingly unperturbed by his near death experience, the biker gunned his engine and passed Munson and Darcy as if they’d com to a full stop.

“I always heard the drivers in Detroit were nuts,” Munson said.

“We’re far from Detroit, Munson.” She stared through the windshield and frowned. She’d experienced a brief moment of déjà vu when the biker passed them but had no idea what could have caused it. It wasn’t important. She just had to make sure she avoided any uncomfortable situations while she was here.

They reached Detroit a few hours later, still much too early to go snooping around public offices. Munson wisely decided they needed to get some rest and followed his GPS to a three-star hotel in the town of Hazel Park, a blue collar town known for its women still sporting Eighties hairstyles and pick-up trucks adorned with rebel flags. However, this time of night it was a rather quiet place, deceptively peaceful, in fact, The only other traffic they saw consisted of two guys with long hair rockin’ out to hopelessly outdated hair band metal in a slow-moving Seventies-era Buick Skylark and the cop who decided to harass them.

Munson raised an index finger and thumb as he passed them and let out a loud, “Whooooooo!” Darcy laughed and playfully hit him in the shoulder.

Munson smiled. “I can feel my IQ points dropping into NASCAR fan levels.”

“I wouldn’t expect a man who believed in all of humanity’s right to know the truth to be such an elitist.”

“Who’s an elitist? I’m just rockin’ on with my bad self.”

Another Excerpt from the NANO novel.

People were such assholes these days, even worse than just a few years ago. Like Franny Franklin wrote on her website, “The tools of Satan are getting angrier and angrier and they don’t even know why! I know why! Because we’re going to kick their demonic butts back to the depths of the Earth!”

That was all fine and dandy but when actually faced with a gray-faced apparition seemingly hell-bent on communicating with you, all those bad ass words faded into a sea of easily forgotten hyperbole. Gabe’s ghost was following him and appearing at the most bizarre times and there was nothing he could do but pretend he wasn’t freaked out when other people were around. Sadly, those “other people” included his mother, who wouldn’t understand. If anything, she’d probably think he was on “the drugs” and take him back to Doctor Fenway.

He didn’t need a goddam shrink, he needed answers. Something was happening and, whether it sounded egotistical or not, it seemed to be centered around him.

An Excerpt from the NANO novel.

The only reason she hadn’t fought him on this was because he’d been smart enough to show her the article.

“Oh, my God,” she’d said in a hushed whisper. “Those people…My God.”

She was reading about the hotel fire in Michigan that had claimed an undetermined number of lives. The thing about the Internet that still amazed Munson was its immediacy. The fire had just occurred a few hours ago and the bloggers and website journalists were already discussing it as if it was last week’s tragedy. Munson told her to pay special attention to the second to last paragraph.

He watched her read it, waiting patiently for her knee-jerk scientific explanation. Imagine his surprise when she didn’t offer one.

“Spontaenous generation?” she said. “That many people at once? Bullshit.”

“How can you say that? Look how many witnesses there were!”

“Yes, Munson, I know. I’m not disputing the burning people but the writer’s ridiculous theory.”

Munson, who had gotten himself all tense and ready for a shouting match, visibly deflated like a flesh-covered balloon at that. “Well, what’s your theory?”

“I don’t have one yet.” She pushed herself away from the motel room desk and got to her feet. “That’s why I’m not an Internet writer.”

Submission: Accepted!

The editor of Sci Fi Short Story Magazine found my first story to be a non-fit for his magazine although he made sure to stress that the rejection was neither a criticism of the actual writing of the piece nor a discouragement against future submissions. I took him at his word and submitted another story entitled, "No More Goodbyes."

It was accepted.

The editor wrote, "It gripped me from the beginning."

What a nice way to ring in Daylight Savings Time~

My work will be read on the radio this Halloween!

This story will be read on this show.

It airs at 8:30 am. but it can be heard anytime throughout the entire day.

Tune in and let me know what you thought!!!

A stunning endorsement! Better do as they say!

Order my novel here or here.

Don't wait until they've sent Cruse & Travolta after you!!!

My commentary on the Juan Williams issue

Click here for the article.

My latest project is a hit!!!

At least it was on its first day of being posted on the Youtubes. Below is a still from "The Gift," the "machinima" film I scripted and narrated for Celestial Elf, a UK-based animator.











You can view the entire film here and while you're at it, might as well go ahead and read my interview with the owner/operator of Celestial Elf right'cheer! There will be a test and harsh consequences if you're not ready for it.

Enjoy! Leave comments.

Come see me read stuff!

The Oddest Rejection Letter (so far)

It's always good to receive a personalized rejection letter because it generally means the editor agonized or at least hesitated over the decision to exclude it from their magazine. Many times I've received the "not a good fit" or "the writing is engaging but..." and that's just the nature of the game. This one, however, seems to have struck a nerve in the editor. What makes me say that? Well, considering the fact that he or she works for a magazine that has a synonym for "death" in its title and publishes horror stories, what other explanation can there be if they didn't have a problem with the writing?

Here's the letter with the magazine's name excluded:

We at (magazine) received your submission: "Soulmate Express". After considered review by our editorial staff we have decided not to publish your story.

The story is too depressing for me, it's just not the kind of story I'm looking for to put in (magazine).

Please also take a few minutes and log our response time at (link excluded) We work hard to respond to writers in a timely manner, which allows them to submit again to another market if not selected for publication. Reporting response times helps us attract writers and helps writers make good decisions about where they want to submit.

Let's ignore the fact that the editor of a fiction magazine used the phrase "for to put" as if they're coming from Louisiana with a banjo on their knee. Am I the only one that noticed the contradictory phrasing of "review by our editorial staff" and "too depressing for me?" To paraphrase that great sage Bud Bundy, am I the only one that noticed the emperor has holes in his underwear?

Oh, but the best part is the request at the end to do their marketing and research work for them. I'm all for that writing community crap but it ends at the fingertips of the person who accepts or rejects my work and decides if I get paid for it.

A friend recommended I frame this one. I think I might. All part of the experience~

Purchase my novel at Amazon.

Click here and order today!

The flier for my upcoming book signing.

I will be here along with three other authors from COM Publishing so come on out if you can:

Sunday, October 10th

11 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Benefit for Beyond Basics

Sponsored by ICU Eyewear and Leon & Lulu

Celebrate reading and writing, get new glasses and help promote literacy all at the same time!

Leon & Lulu will celebrate reading and writing with

its second annual Books & Authors event.

We love to read and we just adore writers so we are giving nearly 40 Michigan authors space to sell and sign their books, meet their fans and help promote literacy in Michigan. Shoppers will enjoy refreshments, live entertainment and support Beyond Basics, a 501(c)(3) non-profit corporation offering reading, writing and expanding horizons enrichment programs to students attending public schools in Metro Detroit.

The Books & Authors event is co-sponsored by ICU Eyewear, purveyor of fun and fancy reading glasses. ICU has donated a limited quantity of fashionable and funky reading glasses, which will be sold the weekend of the event for $17 (regular retail $22).

All proceeds from the sale of the reading glasses, tips and raffle money

will also benefit Beyond Basics.

Entertainment will be provided by Trio Fiori

(Jeffrey Beyer, flute; Theresa Stacy, violin; Sharon Sweet, piano)

For more information, check out leonandlulu.com/books.

Leon & Lulu is located at 96 West 14 Mile Road in Clawson, Michigan.

248-288-3600 www.leonandlulu.com

Located in a former roller rink turned gifts, accessories, and home furnishing store, Leon & Lulu supports the community through in store non-profit events. In 2009, the store held 61 events, with 51 benefiting non-profits.

I sincerely hope this isn't the case.

But Harlan Ellison claims he is dying.

A...umm...unique rejection letter.

I have been submitting stories this week to various magazines and anthologies and received a rejection in my email just this morning for a story I sent off yesterday. I've been sent rejection letters before but the content of this one threw me a bit and so Ithought I'd share it with the denizens of the World Wide Interweb:

"The concept is actually pretty good but there's too much telling and not enough showing. There's a lot in here you're trying to convey in 2,000 words, and so you're having to just recap for the reader instead of showing actual emotionally involving scenes that let the reader reach his own conclusion. You're losing your readers at the beginning. It's no criticism of your writing style and skill - I don't think even the best of the best SF writers could cover as much of a story you're trying to tell in so few words. There's a bit of unsolicited advice, but I think unsolicited advice is better than a form "no".

Please send me more soon!"

All writers have occasionally been guilty of too much telling in their work. It's always good to get a personal rejection and the encouragement to send more is heartening as well. But am I wrong in feeling that the main issue was that the story was too ambitious?

A Note from My Teacher...30 years ago!

"Dear Mrs. Nadeau (That's my mom, in case you're wondering),

There has been improvement in Chris' work and behavior. We still have some unfinished work at times, but the quality of his class assignments is much better.

Chris is still bringing toys to school. If we have trouble with the toys, I keep them until time to go home.

Thank you for your help from home. I know Chris has the ability to do above average work and I am pleased with the improvement so far.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Eastman"

I ran across that letter while going through an old family photo album. It's funny how we can place our later years in context with a document. I know some historians whose training involved examining actual documents as opposed to simply text books and it definitely makes a difference. For instance, I can discern from this letter that my tendency to not finish tasks I either find unimportant or ridiculous is a genuine personality trait as opposed to a learned behavior. I can also tell that my imagination was more important to me than dull, meticulous school work, as evidenced by the "trouble with toys" the teachers mentions.

Oddly enough, I don't remember a Mrs. Eastman. Her name rings no bells and I can't even place the issues we were having in any type of context. I guess that shows how much impact teachers had on my life, which is to say they barely registered at all.

When I read this letter, I feel nothing. No sense of deja vu, no nostalgia, no yearning for the way things were. I just see the functional letter of a sub-par functionary in a machine whose purpose is to enforce social restrictions, more concerned with the smooth running of her classroom than anything else. That must be why I never had much love for teachers and it also explains my issues with authority figures in general until recently.

Ah, letters home to our parents. Just another way to remind ourselves how we became what we are...

My first story for Yahoo

They asked me to write a short story with a Labor Day theme. Click on the hyper-link and tell me what you think.

The definitive Sherry Shriner article

Click here to enjoy the wackiness.

Sure to ruffle a few feathers

But I've always wanted to write about the real topic of this article.

Detroit City Council has issues with Detroit-based TV show

Writing for Yahoo

My second and third articles posted on the same day. Check 'em out.