Surrender to Infinity

Quote O' the Day

2012-02-13T06:26:00.000-08:00

"I well remember the happy day when I realized that everything in my 100 word biography/bibliography was stuff I had actually done!!"

-Richard Bowes, author of Minions of the Moon

And the second runner up:

"The 100 word bio/biog is the strange place where one writes about oneself in the third person and is never fact-checked or called to account. Heaven for a fiction writer!!"

-Same Guy

Upcoming Reading Event Removes Bad Taste from my Mouth

2012-02-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

Two years and seven days ago, our father brought forth upon this...hmm? Oh, sorry. Wrong speech.

Two years and six days ago I posted this detailing my shockingly negative experience with a representative of one of my Alma maters who wanted to bring me in to speak and read and then switched gears into a hostile diatribe that made it sound as if I somehow bore the responsibility of helping create a series of events for her.

Everyone who ran across this story, writers and readers alike, found this to be the height of insult and unprofessional-ism, thereby reaffirming that, in this rare instance, I wasn't crazy. Flash-forward to this month and a college I never attended and observe the difference in communication styles:

Me: Good afternoon, Nichole.

I was advised by my fellow Great Lakes Association of Horror Writers Peggy Christie that you were open to allowing local writers the opportunity to perform readings at your institution. I am a published writer with a novel and about two dozen short stories to my name. I have also done readings in the past and would love to do one at Macomb Community College.

Sincerely,

Christopher Nadeau

http://christopher-nadeau.blogspot.com/

http://www.amazon.com/Dreamers-Infinitys-Core-Christopher-Nadeau/dp/0979029961/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1327952692&sr=8-1

She: Hello, Chris!

Thanks for getting in touch with me about being one of the Featured Readers at WW.

Currently, March 21 and April 18 are open. Let me know which date would work for you.

I would also ask for a short bio so I can create fliers to promote this event.

I am so excited to have you read. Thanks again!

-Nicole

Me Again:

Nichole,

Thanks for the opportunity. I hate to be a nuisance, but what time is the event? That will help me figure out which day is better. Also, is your email address a reference to the Nancy Collins Sonja Blue novels?

C.N.

She once more: Oh, I'm sorry, Chris.

WW meets from 2 to 3:30 pm.

And yes, my email is in reference to Collin's Sonja Blue. I LOVE those books!!!

I think Blue is one of the greatest vampires (vampire hybrids) of all time. :-)

-Nicole

Yep, Me again: Nichole,

Thanks for the quick reply. In that case, March 21 works better for me, as I have a writer''s conference in April. The story I planned to bring is about 600 words long and was published in Science Fiction Short Story Magazine. It has only one mild swear and is a relatively quick read. I'm assuming we each read one piece?

Sonja Blue is, in my humble estimation, the greatest of the vampire/hybrid tales. Collins is a pioneer and sadly not widely recognized in lieu of lesser talents.

C.N.

Note the positive attitude. Also note the fact that the event is already well set up. There's none of that speaking to the writer as if he's an employee of the college "we're in this together" crap. You probably can also tell she's a fan of writing in general and horror in particular, which helps in events such as this. It's refreshing to have an experience like this. Almost makes me forget the other one.

But not quite...

Upcoming Publication.

2012-02-09T05:00:00.000-08:00

My lengthy story/novella "Destiny & Home-Made Apple Pie" has been accepted for the Open Casket Press anthology pictured below:

Zippered Flesh Anthology Now Available!!!

2012-02-08T06:08:00.001-08:00

This is the Weldon Burge edited anthology featuring perhaps my most grotesque short story yet, "You With Me." It's now available on Amazon in paperback for $14.95 with Kindle version to come.

I also had my short story "Edwin Murphy Sends his Regards" accepted for the Static Movement anthology, "Monster behind the Mask," which is not yet available. (Cover concept art below)

Upcoming Reading Event.

2012-02-07T08:57:00.000-08:00

(If you substitute March 21 for February 15 , this flier suddenly refers to the date I will be appearing here)

Creepy Hospital-related Tales.

2012-02-03T08:34:00.001-08:00

Just received word my short story, "Marge," is slated to appear in the Static Movement anthology, Hospital, whose submissions period just closed.

This is a story I wrote back in the Nineties, when my mother was in and out of the hospital during the last few years of her life. There was a woman in a nearby room who kept imploring someone named "Marge" to forgive her day and night, non-stop. I couldn't get her out of my head and so I turned it into a short story. I recently rewrote it from memory and then found the original, surprised by the similarities and mostly pleased with the difference.

As always, I'll provide updates once it's available to purchase~

Upcoming Publication.

2012-01-31T07:29:00.000-08:00

It is perhaps ironic that the anthology pictured below is taking a bit longer to fill than the first volume did. That one featured my novella "Toilet Bums," but this second volume features something very different. It actually has two of my stories in it, but the one I'm more anxious about is "Hawk Vs. Dove at a Coffee Shop."

The reason I mentioned irony in my opening sentence is because we're in an election year and that particular story was written during the last presidential election. Back then, I was trying to demonstrate the acidic vitriol (with apologies to Montilee Stormer who used that phrase to describe my commentary on a famous series of novels) that was shaping up among the American political landscape. The story concerns a raging conservative Mid-Westerner who wanders into a West Coast "Liberal" coffee shop with disturbing and violent results. It'sthe story I was assured was too weird and personal to be accepted for publication.

The true irony is that the behaviors depicted in the story, from both sides, no longer seem so far-fetched.

I'll let you know when it comes out.

Quote O' the Day

2012-01-25T12:56:00.000-08:00

"America is one of the few countries in the world where being "creative" is considered a birth defect."

-Joe Meils , Facebook Guy

An Excerpt from my bug-related horror tale (WIP)

2012-01-24T11:25:00.000-08:00

The other thing Rodger remembered later was the dream he had while he was passed out on the marble floor. In that dream, he was standing on top of one of the Twin Towers with flames all over the place. Overheard, there was a loud buzzing as millions of locusts hovered.

Rodger looked up into the sky and thought how awesome it would be if the locusts would follow his orders and start going after everything and everyone in their path.

So, they totally did!

It was beautiful; uber-carnage and devastation. People screamed and died and trampled each other while Rodger placed his hands on his hips comic book movie villain style and laughed his fucking ass off. So, you can image why he woke up so grumpy when he realized his moment of triumph wasn’t real.

Quote o' the Day

2012-01-17T11:47:00.001-08:00

"Rush is an ultra right wing nazi for the Tea Party. Uneducated, stupid and has no morals. A bigot against anyone not white anglo saxon and protestant. He needs to take his millions and get off the air so real journalists can relay real news."

-David Turnbol, Facebook user

STEREOTYPES AS METHODS OF WORKPLACE TRAINING?

2012-01-13T06:00:00.000-08:00

We wrangled that insane Scribe alter-ego of mine back into the lab and locked his cage, but he posted this final piece of his way out:

Where I used to work, we were in constant training. It’s the nature of the industry. People are constantly demanding newer and more exciting products and we have to be trained on every single one of them. I took a training for a new PDA that was the major holiday season buzz and failed it like a retard with a drool cup.

We get to retake most tests until we passed them, the logic being it was better to learn through repetition than to feel like someone who will never get it.

This particular training had what I can only refer to as story problems. That’s probably why I failed. I hate those. I don’t like being forced to think inside a small tube, and that’s exactly what those things do. As if that weren’t enough, however, some of the questions were of a rather stereotypical nature. One specifically jumped out at me regarding a man named “Koji” who was a camera enthusiast. His name couldn’t have been Sam or Dave? Sure, part of the question involved international usage, but non-Japanese people do travel to other countries last time I checked the statistics. Ok, I never checked the statistics, but I’m pretty sure I’m right.

There were a few others that weren’t quite as in-yo-face stereotypical, but Koji stood out most. And then I realized something: They might need help making their questions more stereotypical! Maybe the people writing them don’t know all the racial, ethnic and gender-based stereotypes.

Thus, I decided to use my mighty writer’s arsenal to come up five examples for them, pro bono, so the future trainings can be more in line with the Koji example. Observe and be changed for the better:

Jose is an illegal bean farmer who loves to drive ’57 Chevy’s while drinking cerveza and blasting tejano music to the four winds. He needs a phone that can be used across the border as well as in the U.S. so he can coordinate with Hector, the man he’s paying to sneak his family into Texas. What phones would you recommend for his use?

Tyrone owns and operates the Get Down Grits & Greens Restaurant on Martin Luther King, Boulevard and is also a drug dealer. He needs a handset that can be operated hands-free so as to properly enjoy his fried chicken & watermelon while talking to his baby mama’s. What phones would work for him?

Jenny is a former bleach blond rock star groupie and general boy-go-round that decided at the age of 25 she was going to be respectable and landed a rich husband who has no idea about her past. Since she’s prone to marital infidelity and spending large sums of the money her husband brings home on useless crap because it’s on sale, she needs several handsets so as not to get caught. What phones would work for her?

Sydney Weintraub is a real estate broker and a slumlord that also holds membership in the Hollywood elite. Because of his utter ruthlessness in business and total disregard for anyone who isn’t Jewish, Sydney needs instant access to his financial records in order to properly evict indigent families from their homes. Which handsets would give him the ability to destroy lives and enjoy it since he is of the devil?

Cletus is a NASCAR and beer enthusiast who is constantly on the go in his pickup salvaging trash in the front yards of rich people. His overall disdain and envy for them causes him to “work” late hours in order to get whatever he thinks he’s entitled to. As a result, he needs a handset that can take pictures of the trash to send to his wife Raeleen so she can evaluate its worth as well as something he can use to text so he can give the trash pix names like, “This here’s a right purdy sofa bed, ain’t it?” What would you recommend?

A LETTER TO FACEBOOK

2012-01-12T06:00:00.000-08:00

Since he still hasn't been caught and returned to the laboratory, my alter-ego, aka "Scribe," has once again decided to post a rant from his blog. This one is form 2009:

Dear Facebook,

I am still not sure what to make of you. Your appeal makes sense, but the cult-like devotion of many of your users baffles me much the same way I am perplexed by fans of American Idol. I am writing this letter in the hopes of understanding what, pardon the French, the big fucking deal is!

As the rumored publication of my novel seemed to become more and more of a reality, I was urged to create for myself more of a web presence. I already had one on blogger, but not under my real name. My first attempt at expanding my reach into the cyber-world was Myspace, a disastrous choice. For one thing, that site is almost exclusively devoted to preening simpletons more interested in being seen as cool and hot all at once. Silly applications galore bombard that site like flies hitting windshields.

It became painfully obvious that Myspace was for self-indulgent distractions, not anything of substance. That’s not to say there aren’t others in the creative fields with sites but the annoyance factor is far too high for it to be a pay-off.

But you were supposed to be different. Your design was less garish; your purpose was more honorable. You were the site originally designed for students on college campuses to remain in contact with each other. Eventually, other people caught on and started using you and suddenly your creators were overnight millionaires.

I instantly noticed the difference. You were a networking tool. You could be used to find old friends and business associates, not to mention others in your field. Within a week I had the same amount of “friends” through you that it took me 6 months to get through Myspace. By the end of that month I had more.

Facebook, I went to a fucked up high school. So it came as no surprise that I only founda couple people from my school days.

You are an interesting tool, much like my own interesting tool, and there is a lot of stuff that’s positive about you.

However, there is an evil force infiltrating your purity and attempting to destroy you from within. That force is known in our world as…SOCCER MOMS.

Perhaps you’ve heard of them. Do not be fooled by their pretense at harmlessness, for they are the great evil that snakes its way up through our drains and wiggles along the floor and around our ankles as it slowly slithers its way up our bodies. And their numbers are increasing! Much like they do with mediocre novels like “Twilight” and ridiculously embarrassing TV shows like “Desperate Housewives,” they wait until someone else decides it’s for them before embracing it with a fanatical passion.

The way conservatives complain about illegal immigration, you’d think they’d be intelligent enough to notice the same pattern in soccer mom migrations. Much like the cheesy vampires about whom they enjoy reading, soccer moms much be invited in before they can devour us. Sadly, most people are idiots and totally unaware of the threat and do just that.

Scores of this hideous scourge have created Facebook pages and it isn’t pretty. Facebook, my new friend and possible future lover, you may be wondering what possible harm these imbecilic locusts can cause to you and the rest of us. To that I say with all sincerity, respect and loyalty: GET YOUR HEAD OUTTA YER ASS!!! WHAT ARE YOU, A COMPLETE IDIOT? STUPID CUM BUCKET! LOOK WHAT YOU MADE. ME DO! I LOVE YOU AND LOOK. WHAT. YOU MAKE. ME DO!!!!!

Now I have to go out and buy you flowers and a card and promise it’ll never happen again. Are you happy? See what you caused? Do you? Well, I certainly hope so! I love you….

I’m sorry, Facebook, sometimes I just get so angry. It’s those damn soccer moms. So vaporous and empty, so shallow and annoying. You can actually look into their eyes (not for too long, though, or you’ll be taken over) and see what superficial teenagers they were. And now, thanks indirectly you and the geeks who brought you into our world, they have an outlet for their mind-numbing tedium that could conceivably devour us all!

When I post something using Facebook, it’s usually an update on what I’m writing, something sarcastic and hopefully funny to others, or what my turds look like after having eaten Indian food. But these women, and I use the term loosely, (I love that expression) seem to believe everything that happens throughout their days is of vital import and should be shared with the rest of the world.

I am fortunate in that I don’t have any soccer moms among my 50 or more friends. I chose carefully from writers, blogger friends, former co-workers and some tramps...the way god intended it. However, I know people who do have them in their friends list and some of their updates have been shared with me. I don’t mind telling you I lost bladder control.

Wait…that was before the updates were shared with me. That was a whole separate thing, come to think of it. Forget that part, Facebook. I have a narrow urethra.

Ridiculous updates like, “Jenny is feeling sad for little Greggers because he has the sniffles” are always followed by a barrage of sympathetic replies from others of the same ilk. What started as a networking tool has become an excuse for self-indulgence of the most mediocre.

I know what you’re going to say: Put your pants back on and take your power drill elsewhere. But I bet you’re also saying, “These are woman who feel ignored, craving validation. I provide them with a resource where they can feel like what they do and say matters. Shouldn’t they also have the chance to feel that way?”

Of course not! Haven’t you been paying attention? These aren’t people! Just because they have feet doesn’t mean they’re human beings! Rodents have feet! And they’re delicious! Especially with lemon and a little butter! But I bet soccer mom feet taste like sulfur, since they walk along the corridors of Hellllllllllll!!!!

You might think I’m crazy, but unlike actual crazy people, I know I’m not crazy because everybody else is. So chew on that, Facebook! You stupid…website. Soccer Mom lover! Can the more blue-collar hockey moms be far behind?

Don’t you see? If we don’t draw the line right here, right now, soon our TV stations will consist of daytime talk shows and shows with judges on them screaming at morons. Our roads could become filled with gas-guzzling SUV’s driven by distracted airheads. Our restaurants could be over-crowded with selfish moms and their kids during the lunch rush and our movie theaters could be…well, OK they don’t go to movies the rest of us care about so scratch that last one off the list.

Facebook, you are the potential savior of us all, you and only you can purge us of this menace before the next logical and horrifying step occurs: They’ll start breeding with the normal human population!!! Do you want that? Do you want everyone using you to be the same? Does homogenization appeal to you, you son of a bitch!?

Maybe it does. Maybe that’s where you’ll get your power. I hope not. I like you, Facebook, but I will fuck you up if it becomes necessary~

THE CULT OF THE GUITAR GUY:

2012-01-11T06:57:00.000-08:00

It would appear that my alter-ego "Scribe" has once again escaped from the laboratory and re-posted one of his hostile invective-filled commentaries from 2008, the Year of Great Anger. Thankfully, I was able to edit some of the more incendiary stuff...believe it or not!!!

Here it is:

I just realized the other day how much I can’t stand guys that play the guitar recreationally. I realized it when I thought about two utter pieces of fecal matter I know who do.

Not so ironically, these guys work in the same place and feed off each other’s perceived coolness. Only one could make the argument for being even remotely cool and there’s nothing cool about his punk ass either. They share similar obnoxious personality traits, chief among them being a sort of removed arrogance and over-compensating cockiness that is at once annoying and undeserved.

They are certainly not the only ones who fit this description. I’m sure you’ve had this experience or known someone who has. Some arrogant, know-it-all “rebel” whose carefully cultivated persona reeks of effort and thinly disguised hostility because he’s being forced to live the life he despises…you know, normal and accountable. But the world doesn’t get him, man. He’s a guitar hero. Those who don’t play should hail his very existence. His humility is the result of his enlightenment, since his one-ness with the wood and metal makes him a more fully evolved human being, am avatar of the ax, a monk of musicianship, a motherfuckin' GUITAR PLAYER!!!

Before I go any further, I should tell you that both of my uncles are musicians, One of them is a jazz guitarist who plays professionally and was part of the birth of Motown Records in the Sixties. Actually, thy both were. My other uncle was a bass guitarist and they collaborated on songs together, some of which got airplay. This is not the portrait of the Guitar Cult I am attempting to draw. Two accomplished and proven musicians who have proved themselves don’t qualify for membership.

And, honestly, dabbling in the guitar as a form of relaxation or self-improvement is perfectly fine. I don’t have any issues with guys like that.

The guy I have a problem with is the guy who struts around the office while insisting he’s not of the office, a cocky half-grin, half-grimace affixed to his lips as he tolerates the rest of us until he finds out some of us have our own forms of creative expression. The guy I take issue with is the one that thinks because he and a bunch of other recreational musicians jam in his buddy’s basement that he is on the same level as my uncle who still plays professionally.

For some reason, this guy has always wanted to write a novel or book of his life. He will most likely never finish the book and if he does it’s so far outside his comfort zone to submit the thing, he’ll probably never even try.

In many ways, members of the Guitar Cult remind me of soccer moms. They are a group that sees itself as somehow separate from the rest of us by virtue of its purpose. Both groups tend to want to only congregate with like-minded people and discuss what would be industry subject matter if these were professions. They both tend to be incredibly self-absorbed, often thinking their needs are paramount and superior to the needs of others. Oh, and they’re both really annoying dorks! How’s that for an academic overview of the situation?

Before my mom went onto her heavenly reward (becoming a displaced spirit that appears to me in dreams) she told me how sick and tired of the guitar she was. At the time, I found that odd. She said the guitar was always supposed to be staple in the rock ‘n roll sound but it wasn’t supposed to dwarf all other instruments. It became a symbol of instant gratification and stardom, a giant, noise-making penis used to release the pent up sexual frustrations and angst of pimply teenage boys the world over. What bothered her most was its utter ubiquitousness.

At the time, the mid-Nineties to be exact, popular TV ads featured guitars strumming in almost everything. Hip-hop had yet to capture the white suburban imagination and so alternative rock was the pop culture movement du jour. I think much of America came to agree with her, as the general de-emphasizing of the guitar that followed her death would seem to indicate. That didn’t last, of course. There’s always a new generation of suburban youth eagerly looking to escape the doldrums of their existence by banging away at three chords in their garages in the hopes of becoming the next White Stripes or some other equally uninteresting band.

But those are kids and kids are supposed to be morons. The guys I mentioned earlier are not kids. One of them is in his fifties and the other two are in their late thirties. I know for a fact that the guy in his fifties has rock star aspirations. He doesn’t know this, but I found his bitch ass online and listened to some samples of his band’s music. I haven’t laughed that hard since the Tina Fey Sara Palin skits at the end of last year. Mr. Hipster McFreebird caterwauls some of the lamest shit I’ve ever heard. I could get all immature and tell you it’s as if Crap & Puke had a baby and he decided to play guitar in their basement in a sea of raw sewage. But I won’t because I’m an extremely mature individual who doesn’t say bad things about pieces of shit like this low-rent fuckstick.

Not all recreational guitar players are reprehensible. My friend Dutch comes to mind. But he seems to be the exception to the rule. Most of them are pricks. God forbid you should ever have to work alongside one of them because they don’t seem to have any sense of loyalty either. Since everything except jamming sessions is an illusion, everything external is to be ridiculed , ignored and disregarded.

I’m not saying they’re scourge or a plague that must be stopped like soccer moms and midget Nazis but we should keep our eyes on them. Besides, they’re only a small part of a bigger problem. In the near future I’ll be discussing the self-entitled hip-hop wanna-be~

Quote o' the Day

2012-01-10T09:43:00.000-08:00

"If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking." ~Haruki Murakami

Quote o' the Day

2012-01-09T07:15:00.000-08:00

"Guess that 'big tent Republicanism' they were touting a decade ago didn't work out. So they folded up the tent and are cow-towing to the crowd they know best: Rich white men and poor old white lemmings with Tri corner hats"

-A Facebook poster

Couldn't Say it Better!

2012-01-06T09:47:00.001-08:00

Quote of 2011

2012-01-05T21:00:00.000-08:00

After much consideration, here it is:

"He who warned, uh, the British that they weren't going to be taking away our arms uh by ringing those bells and making sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be secure and we were going to be free and we were going to be armed."—Sara Palin on Paul Revere, June 3, 2011

Vote!

2012-01-05T08:49:00.000-08:00

Please vote for my friend and favorite editor Jeanni Rector of The Horror Zine in this year's Preditors and Editors Critters Workshop Readers Poll! Links provided below:

For Best Editor:

http://www.critters.org/predpoll/zineeditor.shtml

For Best Fiction Ezine:

http://www.critters.org/predpoll/fictionzine.shtml

For Best Poetry Ezine:

http://www.critters.org/predpoll/poetryzine.shtml

For once, voting will actually result in something tangible. You'll be able to tell the grandkids!

Reactions to "The most Uncomfortable Thing I've Written in some time."

2012-01-04T07:33:00.001-08:00

It's interesting how, even when a writer scribes up something intensely personal and puts it "out there" for the general public, readers often still feel the need to respond privately. It is very respectful and nice and I'm in no way judging them for that, but I'm a writer, and writers like to put things against the wall so passers-by can see it, too.

Therefore, I've compiled the reactions my previous post (Scroll down to read it) engendered sans names:

I just read your letter, Chris. I'm so sorry that your mother and you and your family had to go through such a painful experience. I never tell anyone about my mother's end of days but I saw some of my own frustration and anger in your letter. All we can do is our best during times such as these, and I am certain that your efforts were a comfort to your mother when she needed you most, even if to you they seemed small and futile. I hope your letter is a step toward healing; I doubt your parents would ever want you to suffer for as long as you have.

i just read the piece you wrote on your blog. It's one of the most moving pieces I've read in a long, long time. I know how hard it was to lose my mum at an early age too (she was 54), but in a small mercy, she went downhill very rapidly, so the emotional distress on the family was at least not as drawn out...

Losing the house, and that connection must have been a wallop.

You're a good man Chris, and take care of your self.

Very, very touching. And sensitively expressed. Thanks for sharing with us. I hope that time has helped to heal, little by little. And perhaps in writing this, another step has been taken in that direction. Love and hugs.

And from my cousin I haven't seen in thirty-plus years who adored my mom:

just read you letter...wow, I understand. Aunt Dee was a great woman and I will always love her.
I'm so sorry your mom suffered so much and I sorry you suffered. Sometimes life sucks, I would have never guessed it would end like that.

Thanks to all who read it and felt compelled to reply as well as those who did not. The letter was mailed yesterday. If I receive a response, I'll let you know~

The Most Uncomfortable Thing I've Written in Some Time.

2011-12-31T15:19:00.000-08:00

This is probably self-explanatory as you read on, but here is the letter I wrote and am sending to two of my mother's friends from her younger days telling them she died back in 1997:

I’m not sure why it has taken me so many years to write this
letter. Perhaps it was easier to tell myself I was going to do it and then go
into denial not long after. Anything to avoid the discomfort of putting
together thoughts best left felt than expressed.
It isn’t easy to talk about a parent’s death, especially
when that parent dies at such an early age.
Denise Nadeau died in 1997 due to complications initially brought on by
Diabetes and eventually becoming renal failure. At the risk of sounding blunt,
she suffered quite a bit up until that point.
The Nineties was a difficult time for my mother. She entered
the decade losing feeling in her feet, often the first sign that a lifelong
Diabetic is starting to succumb to their disease. She wound up on a cane at first, which is how
she was when my father died of lung cancer in 1991, at the age of 48. Soon she
was in a wheelchair, but she refused to let that stop her, at least at first.
If you remember Denise Nadeau, and anyone who knew her seems
incapable of forgetting, you know she did not just give in to what was ailing
her. She kept working until she couldn’t
anymore, when the onset of Diabetic Neuropathy took the use of her legs and
left her hands like shaky claws. Her mind still worked and she did everything
she could to keep it working.
Unfortunately and to my living regret, she went through a
period where her health was too poor for me to take care of her alone or even
with the help of family and an aid. She wound up in a few different nursing
homes, a rather demoralizing fate for someone with such a brilliant mind and so
much left to contribute to society. Blue Cross did everything they could to try
and deny her care based on her age (early to mid-Fifties) and the fight to obtain
her Social Security was a lengthy one that eventually wound up in some sort of
victory.
I promised my mother she would not wind up in a nursing home
forever and I kept that promise. She came home in December of 1996. However, in
August of 1997, I entered her room one morning to find her in bed with foam
running from her mouth. She’d experienced a few seizures recently but this one made
her non-responsive. Rushing her to the
hospital merely resulted in her coming back to without the ability to process
information for more than a few seconds at a time. I suppose I’ll always bear
the guilt of not having noticed the warning signs of the night before due to my
own physical and emotional exhaustion.
My Uncle Mike, her younger brother, refused to allow me to feel that way
but sometimes, when I relive that night…
Anyway, she lasted another 4-6 weeks after that. My other
Uncle, her older brother, was a physician’s assistant specializing in renal
care. The speech her doctor gave us about her lack of chances and the option to
place her in hospice care was identical to the speech he’d given countless
patients at his own hospital. It suddenly became too real for my uncle and he
wound up retiring a year or so later.
Providence Hospital, always looking toward that next major
malpractice suit, found a way to get my mother out of their hospital and into a
nursing home/rehab facility in Royal Oak a few weeks before she died.
It’s funny: The day she died, I inexplicably decided to call
in sick to work. I kept wanting to go see her and something kept causing me to
delay leaving. A phone call came in early that afternoon from the facility
advising me my mother wasn’t responding and that an EMS had been dispatched. I hesitated
to leave even then, wondering if I should make myself available in case they
needed to call back (this was before cell phones became the norm). Eventually,
I decided the hell with it and drove over there.
I met the EMS workers coming off the elevator. Their gurney
was empty, so I figured this was yet another case of Mom pulled through a
seizure. As I rounded the corner, I actually heard one of the nurses ending a
phone call by telling the person on the other end to please call back ASAP.
Don’t ask me why, but somehow I knew I was being left a message. I said, “Hi, were you just calling me?”
I don’t remember a whole lot about what happened next. I was
taken into my mother’s room, where I had just peeked inside moments before,
only now I realized the bed wasn’t empty at all. The covers had been pulled immediately
asked where I wanted to send “the body.” I remember having no idea and being
asked to go through the Yellow Pages and find a funeral home.
I also remember sitting in the room with my Mother one last
time while some insane woman in the next bed over complained about me being
there. Finally, I remember just getting up and leaving without saying anything
to anyone.
Each year your card has come to the house she once filled
with her powerful energy, a house I still live in and will be losing soon
due to foreclosure, and each year I tell myself I’m going to write a letter
back and tell you what happened. If I have a reason for not having done so
until now, it is because the cards made me feel as if she was still here. My
reason for doing so now? Soon I won’t be in this house anymore and the cards
will stop coming.
So, that’s what happened. Hopefully my decision to wait is
at least slightly forgivable.

Chris Nadeau

(Right Wing) Christians For A (Stupider)America

2011-12-30T07:29:00.000-08:00

I think I might have found the stupidest blog I've seen in years. It's called "Christians For A Moral America" and it regularly posts idiotic gems like this, where they actually view the phrase "Fuck hate" as ironic for all the wrong reasons.

There's also this one, where the author displays unbelievable ignorance and arrogance in equal measure by claiming not only a Christian theme to JRR Tolkien's Lord of the Rings series, but also that any battle between good and evil is automatically a Christian theme!

In Tolkien's words:

…I cordially dislike allegory in all its manifestations, and always have done so since I grew old enough to detect its presence. I much prefer history, true or feigned, with its varied applicability to the thought and experience of readers. I think that many confuse ‘applicability’ with ‘allegory’; but the one resides in the freedom of the reader, and the other in the purposed domination of the author. (The Fellowship of the Ring 10-11)

Since the authors of this site have taken it upon themselves to police the thoughts and personal expressions of whomever they have deemed their enemies, who am I to refuse to return the favor?

It's on.

(By the way, in the tradition of fanatical cowards everywhere, their blog has disabled comments)

The Best Compliment a Reader can Pay a Writer of Fiction...

2011-12-28T12:52:00.000-08:00

"It was perfect, and it made me cry. You bastard!"

In the words of another great creator of fiction:

Quote o' the Day

2011-12-27T06:38:00.001-08:00

"Fundamentalist worship of 'free market' capitalism is the cause of our problems, not the solution."

-A Facebook poster

So much for name recognition!

2011-12-26T10:44:00.001-08:00

Many writers agonize over how their names will appear on the covers of their novels and short story collections. Dean Koontz spent years trying to decide if he wanted to keep the middle initial "R" in his pen name. Kurt Vonnegut included "Jr." for years, only to stop later on when he realized nobody called him that and he was old.

When the pressure was on for me to decide how my name would appear, I went through the literary equivalent of wardrobe changes during a Broadway epic. Here are the ones with which I struggled before choosing what I now use:

Chris Nadeau
Chris A. Nadeau
Christopher A. Nadeau
C.A. Nadeau
C. Nadeau
Jose Felliciano

Okay, the last one is bullshit, but you get my point. Eventually, I settled on Christopher Nadeau, which happens to be my name, so it was easy to remember in a pinch. Besides, other than the young marine who murdered his child and wife, I hadn't seen the name used much. So, now I have a novel and nearly two dozen published short stories under that name and what do I run across on Amazon today?

This gimmicky pastiche of emails masquerading as a book!

From me and the little green Jedi Master...

2011-12-24T12:57:00.000-08:00

Take me Home for the Holidays

2011-12-18T10:09:00.000-08:00

Here is a comprehensive listing of my available writing and where you can purchase it as a gift for people who still see reading as an enjoyable experience as opposed to an unpleasant task:

If you're looking for something Christmas themed and irreverent, look no further than the Dead Christmas anthology. My short story "Midnight Service" is included in this collection. Available for 14.99 in paperback or 9.99 on Kindle.

Piggybacking off the Christmas theme, there's also my short story collection available through Amazon Kindle, From the Bridge and 7 Other Short Stories, featuring a title story that re-imagines the classic "It's a Wonderful Life" with George going after the man responsible for his worst misfortune.

For that cynical horror vampire who finds the "Twilight" phenomenon as repugnant as I do, there's my parody "Dusk," which also includes my unofficial sequel to a movie featuring a certain lovable alien whose departure rendered a young boy's life meaningless.
Both Kindle collections are only .99 cents, and you don't need an e-reader to purchase them.

Getting back to traditional publishing, I have several choices featuring my short stories. I'll provide a quick reference for the ones of which I am proudest:

The Dark Deeds in History anthology featuring my zombie/cannibal story "The Devoured."

The Triangulation: Last Contact anthology featuring "The Party."

The Shadows Within Shadows anthology featuring my disturbing novella, "Toilet Bums."

The Big Book of New Short Horror, featuring "Outside the Box."

Erie Tales: Tales of the Apocalypse featuring "Across the Pond."

And, of course, my novel "Dreamers at Infinity's Core" with its oft-rumored sequel in the works, is available.

Be safe. Spend money on me. Read my stuff~

The Multiple Submissions Dilemma.

2011-12-16T09:46:00.001-08:00

Normally, I am opposed to simultaneous submissions. For non-writers, that is the term given to the process of sending the same story to two or more potential publishers at the same time. I usually have enough work that it isn't necessary, and with the amount of submitting I tend to do, it's easy to lose track of who has what.

However, I recently sent a flash fiction piece to a web publisher that advises it takes up to 75 days to respond. During that time, my friends at Open Casket Press sent out an email asking for stories to fill its Carnival of Horrors anthology. I was one of the authors contacted, as I'd recently been published in their Dead Christmas antho. Because I never do this, I figured I might as well send the story along with one other flash piece and see what happened.

Both were accepted. Then I received the following rejection in my email, prompting a longer exchange which follows:

Dear Christopher Nadeau,

Thank you for your submission to [our site] I regret to inform you that we are unable to use it at this time.

Two concepts here really nail the surreal aspect of the piece: the faceless friend, and the cyclical nature of the plot. My mind went wild with possibilities for what is going on here. However, I prefer when the surreal nature and cyclical aspects of a story have more direction, more support. Why is the "friend" faceless? How is it a friend at all if the MC wants to kill him? How is the friend recognizable without a face? In other words: what is the lack of face emblematic of? The same questions apply to the cycle. Without understanding more about where these concepts of bondage, facelessness, and the void-realm come from, there isn't much acting as foundation to the recursion. There's no anchor. Just throwing out ideas, but, for example, what if the facelessness represented the staleness of a relationship, and the cyclical nature represented the fact that we all keep trying to find new love when old love is lost. I can understand that as-is the author might think, "But this can go in whatever direction the reader wants!". That's all well and good, but when a piece is THIS open, this "meta", it feels like more outline than plot.
-- First Editor

I understood that the faceless killer/victim was being cycled from one person to the next, but there's no explanation of why each became a killer, or why they suddenly wanted to free the next man from bondage. The whole thing had an unreal/dream feel and I kept waiting for you to say that he woke up
-- Second editor

Unfortunately due to the insanely massive amounts of submissions in our slush pile, we cannot reconsider your piece at this time.
We wish you good luck in placing the story elsewhere.

My reply:
Thanks for the input. The story actually has been accepted elsewhere but I was unable to remove the submission.

Dear Christopher Nadeau,

Congratulations on your story's acceptance elsewhere, although I should point out for future reference that we aren't able to take simultaneous submissions at EDF because of our publication schedule and contract process.

Could you let me know why you were unable to inform us of your withdrawal, so that we can address the problem? Your assistance with this would be greatly appreciated, as we need to know if our contact form isn't working or if there's some other communication obstacle of which we are unaware.

Sincerely,
Yet Another Editor

My Second Reply:
I was never able to locate a method for withdrawing the story and the one email I sent apparently wasn't received. Normally I have a personal policy against simultaneous subs but this was a special case where a story was commissioned. I can guarantee it will not happen again.

Yeah, don't do what I did. I probably should have kept my mouth shut (or my fingers inert) but considering the time-line of acceptance of publication, I thought it better to just be honest and take any lumps.

"I'll Occupy" Recruitment Song: The 99 is Pissed and We Will Not Be Dism...

2011-12-14T10:14:00.000-08:00

Publishing Update Addendum.

2011-12-09T12:08:00.000-08:00

"Dark Dispatches," the war-themed horror and science fiction anthology from Static Movement Press, following a brief editorial shake-up, accepted a second story of mine for publication. So now:

"So Man Nathans" and "Bringing Down the Curtain" will be appearing in this collection. I am specially pleased with the acceptance of the second one.

I'll post a link once it's available~

Publishing Update.

2011-12-02T12:17:00.000-08:00

A few more anthologies featuring my work have been released. Check 'em out below and junk:

Volume two in the Pill Hill Press Monster Hunters series,(Volume I included a story by me as well) this one features "Emergence," my tale of a driven mutant hunter whose obsession blinds him to the real danger waiting in the shadows.

Two of my flash fiction pieces appear in this Open Casket Press anthology, the second one to accept my work. (The first one is below)

Never one to shrink from a challenge, I saw this one advertised and had to try for it. My story "Midnight Service" about a hapless pizza delivery guy who's tied up and forced to watch an insane minister try to bring back his savior using zombie black magic appears in this one.

And in my apparent ongoing bid to refute my claims that I don't write zombie fiction, (see above) my ZOMBIE cannibalism tale "The Devoured" appears in this lovely Static Movement anthology.

And finally, one that just recently closed that features my short story "So Many Nathans." I included it because I thought the cover was cool:

Quote of the Day

2011-12-02T08:24:00.000-08:00

"When some one tells you that you can't have Christmas without Christ, remind them you can't have Thursday without Thor."

-Nnedi Okorafor, author of lots of stuff.

That Whole Saying "Merry Christmas" Thing.

2011-11-30T07:07:00.000-08:00

Since my previous re-posting of a blog post by my alter-ego garnered lots of praise, generated discussion, and resulted in at least one person referring to me as both a "nut job" and a "lunitic" (Misspelling notwithstanding) I thought I'd share another of my favorites, albeit in slightly edited form.

This one was written in 2008, when I had a different job and sincerely believed Americans had learned a little humility when it came to consumerism, long before people at WalMart were getting dropped in the name of bargain hunting. Enjoy:

Each year I write some harsh, negative overview of the holiday season and those who observe it with such blind, consumer-based fervor. I would venture to guess most of the vultures have come to expect that from me. It’s what makes me so dad-blamed lovable and, in a few cases, desirable.

I don’t really have anything negative to say about X-mas and it’s less famous siblings this year. 2008 hasn’t really been all that bad for me, despite the national situation. Besides, something has reawakened in me this year, something less gloomy and a tad more positive.

Don’t get me wrong; I am still an angry, disgusted, outraged individual. I still exist on the margins of a society that would love to dispose of me if it could only figure out how to do it. I harbor no delusions that life is a wonderful thing filled with yummy experiences and candy cane romances. If I’ve gained anything at all this year, it is perspective. Bags and bags of perspective.

So this year as I look at my X-Mas tree all lit up in the family room and the few gifts underneath it, I allow myself to experience something akin to nostalgia. It has been eleven years since my mother died and at least eight since I celebrated this holiday with any enthusiasm. This year won’t be radically different, but it won’t be the same either.

Perhaps my feelings have changed in contrast to my fellow Americans. Where once they seemed poised to plunge headlong into stunning and repugnant excess during this time of year, they have been forced by circumstance to reign in their cattle-like behavior. People are doing everything they can to save money, whether by shopping at discount and dollar stores or creating Secret Santa lists so that each person can only focus on one person when buying gifts.

I’m not saying we have become responsible overnight and stopped spending money on frivolous things. I work in an industry that provides the most unnecessary goods and services next to the film industry, yet its profits have not shown a single decline due to the perceived need on the part of the consumer. Good for the company, good for me, but hopefully it won’t cause problems for everyone else further down the line.

The struggle to get people to again say “Merry Christmas” seems to have culminated in a victory. Such a ridiculous thing, really. I hate to agree with Bill O’Reiley on anything. If he said water was wet, I’d probably set about trying to prove it’s dry. But when he said anyone who is offended or has a problem with being wished a Merry X-mas is suffering from his or her own neurosis, he was right. I may reject the "Christian nation” claptrap the Religious Right loves to spew, but the majority population of this country still identifies itself as Christian. Whatever you observe that isn’t X-mas, there aren’t enough of you.

So do us all a favor: Instead of finding it offensive that someone would assume you were part of the majority, simply smile and nod graciously or thank the person while pleasantly informing them it’s not your holiday. .Don’t stupidly boycott businesses and demand equal displays because THERE AREN’T ENOUGH OF YOU.

When someone tells me Jesus loves me, I don’t yell, “And Satan loves you!” the way a certain former Jewish friend once did. I nod and thank the person. Who cares? He’s doing what he thinks is right.

This year people can’t help but get back to the basics of this holiday season. There’s togetherness this year than I've seen since I was young. There will always be those pushy, obnoxious assholes that think their X-mas is the only one that matters, but for the most part, I’ve noticed people acting like human beings again.

So I really can’t be a Negative Nelson this year, much as I might want to be one. I gots to keep it real and be who I is. That’s pretty disappointing, though, isn’t it? Maybe I can compensate with some blasphemous activities.

I will be working a full day on X-mas by choice, so that’s a good start. What else can I do? Santa and Frosty displays in compromising positions? Star Wars action figures incorporated into a manger scene? The X-mas Story retold using Superman? Get my friends to wear Halloween costumes to go caroling door-to-door?

Whatever. Get over yourselves. Merry Christmas.

GIVING THANKS FOR...WHAT, EXACTLY?

2011-11-23T07:44:00.000-08:00

(Reprinted from the blog of my alter-ego "Scribe" from 2007)

Ever heard the expression that says the written word is a lie? It's bullshit.

I'll let that sink in for a few more moments...

And off we go! History tends to record the versions of events agreed upon by

those who were fortunate enough to record them and then silence anybody who

disagreed. Thus we get the false assertion that the Catholics were the first

Christians or that Columbus was the first European to step foot on the American

continent. In that wondrous tradition, we also get the enormous pile of rubbish

known as "Thanksgiving," the supposed day when a group of well-meaning English

settlers met an even more well-meaning group of Native Americans and they chowed

down peacefully on cranberries and pumpkin pie.

Historically speaking, there is little proof that an actual Thanksgiving Day

feast took place at all. In fact, a day of "giving thanks" to the fanatical

Pilgirms usually involved fasting. And the wonderful, devout and loving

Christians seeking religious freedom? They were actually a group of such extreme

fanatics that their obnoxious and vehement opposition to any other lifestyle

created such hatred in their fellow English that it forced them to flee for

their lives.

So, instead of a wide-eyed group of optimistic settlers, what we really had was

a wild-eyed group of dangerous religious whackos looking to establish God's

kingdom on Earth. An attitude, by the way, whose insanity has filtered down

throughout the centuries into the evangelical protestants we know and love and occasionally

elect to the office of President to this day.

We do know for a fact that these God-squatters were ill-prepared for the weather

when they arrived on Plymouth Rock. We also know that the Wampanoag Indians were

the only reason they survived. Whether or not an actual sit-down feast occurred

where Indians were allowed to dine with whites (unlikely considering they were

viewed as both heathens and savages) the fact is that the survival techniques

taught to the Pilgrims are the only thing that aided them in surviving. By the

way, approximately half of them didn't survive .

Historians also tend to agree that the actual feast, which might have lasted as

long as 3 days with or without Indians, most likely occurred at the end of

October and not November, which is conveniently one month from the Eurocentric

Christian holiday known as Christ-Mass, the day a kid was born whose name would

be used to justify what happened the following year.

Now that the Pilgrims had the survival techniques they needed to establish God's

Kingdom, it was time to expand. Sadly, those pesky original inhabitants took

issue with the whole "God hath decreed this land unto us" thing and bloody

battles ensued. Being both Christians and Europeans of the 1600's, they

naturally blamed the Indians for their unreasonable reaction to being invaded

and responded in kind. Besides, the Pilgrims had the last laugh what with all

those marvelous exotic diseases they brought with them to help build the Kingdom

of God.

So this Thursday, what we will be giving thanks for exactly? The fact that a

group of lunatic religious nuts were able to survive and influence the formation

of the only Free World nation with antiquated religious views that persist into

the 21st Century? The fact that an indigenous people were systematically wiped

out "'cause they weren't doin' nothin' with the land no-how?" Ooo! I've got! We

should be thankful that we were lied to about an event that probably never even

happened, the same way blacks were told the Civil War was about slavery!

Did I mention that large celebratory feasts in those wonderful days were often

held in honor of a victorious slaughtering of Indians in the name of Manifest

Destiny?

So by all means, let us give thanks.

Thanks, finally, that the truth is known~

Another Episode of "Facebook Drama!"

2011-11-22T10:09:00.000-08:00

I've been dropped for offending people a few times, but no one ever dropped me because I made them look like a moron. Until now, that is.

What makes this more interesting is that this person is supposedly a published author who writes thrillers that take place in different periods in history. In other words, he should've known better! Below is the thread with picture included:

November 22, 1963. Remember when our President, regardless of party, could ride in an open car? · · · Share · 47 minutes ago

5 people like this.
1 share
- Christopher Nadeau No, and technically neither could the one pictured above.
  46 minutes ago · · 3Loading...
- CJ Edwards Bravo Mr. Nadeau!!
  43 minutes ago · · 1Loading...
- David L Nelson Heck, they haven't even been able to safely go to the show since 100 years before that so I'm thinking um no?
  42 minutes ago ·
- Main Poster: Thanks for the tasteless remark, Mr. Nadeau.
  39 minutes ago ·
- Christopher Nadeau ‎"tasteless?" I object to that strongly. It's a historical fact. Sadly, no president since JFK has been able to sit atop a vehicle due to what happened to him. I don't remember a time when this wasn't the case, hence my comment, and using a pic of the man whose assassination made that so seemed like a bit of intentional irony to me. So no, it wasn't tasteless at all.
  37 minutes ago · · 1Loading...
- Main Poster:‎"Object" all you want, CN. Why then did you remove the remark if you didn't think better of it? The point of the post was a remembrance of a national tragedy and your opening remark seemed to make light of it.
  34 minutes ago · · 2Loading...
- Main Poster: Actually, your post is still there, but disappeared for a while.
  32 minutes ago ·
- Christopher Nadeau I don't know what you're talking about. I never removed anything. However, I'd surprised you would see a comment like that as "making light." There's nothing light about the leader of the free world getting his brains blown out.
  32 minutes ago · · 1Loading...
- Christopher Nadeau I don't remove posts. Mine of those of others.
  31 minutes ago ·
- Christopher Nadeau ‎*or*
  31 minutes ago ·
- Lee Sacco Perhaps it was (is?) a matter of courage? Teddy Roosevelt was shot yet continued with his speech. His book The River Of Doubt, is a testament to courage. I believe Kennedy also had that.
  26 minutes ago ·
- Felicia Bowen Bridges I was kind of thinking it was ironic that you would say, 'Remember when they could...' and post a pic of Kennedy who died that way. In fact, was questioning the 'tastefulness' of that on the anniversary. Just sayin.
  22 minutes ago · · 2Loading...
- Melissa Weaver I was just about to write the same thing! In fact, that's kinda where I thought Chris was going with his comment.
  21 minutes ago · · 1Loading...
- Christopher Nadeau I was.
And then, just like that, I was no longer on his friend list...Thoughts?

Quote of the Day

2011-11-22T06:43:00.000-08:00

"(Frank Miller's) 9/11-created, blanket anti-Muslim fears have him stuck in a storytelling loop, with his voice having nothing original left to say and reduced to howling his hatred into a nation that has moved forward without him, with his now-shriveled balls dangling from his crotchety old man’s sack into the toilet water that flushed away his talent."

-Mike Hansen, All Day Comics

OUCH!!!

The Most Twisted Anthology Cover yet!

2011-11-21T09:39:00.000-08:00

Two "flash fiction" pieces, i.e. really short stories appear in this Open Casket Press anthology and the cover leaves little to the speculative side of the imagination!

The Horror Carnival authors list:
JONATHAN TEMPLAR, MATT KURTZ, VINCENT BILOF, MIKE SHEA, KEVIN LEWIS, MARK M. JOHNSON, SARAH E. GLENN, SAMUEL J. GUSS, NICKOLAS COOK, DAVID BERNSTEIN, ELISE HATTERSLEY, CHRISTOPHER NADEAU, P. DAVID PUFFINBURGER, MARK RIVETT, AARON GUDMUNSON, ROBERT SPALDING, DAVID JAMES KEATON

Quote of the Day

2011-11-21T06:46:00.000-08:00

"...I will be damned if we're going to balance the budget on the backs of the elderly, the sick, the children, and the poor."

-Senator Bernie Sanders, Commie.

A Quick Look at Two Anthologies Featuring some guy named Me.

2011-11-18T06:40:00.000-08:00

Two days ago, I received in the mail copies of two Pill Hill Press anthologies featuring a story each from me, and a whole bunch by other writers. I was a tad nervous, only because one never knows how these things are going to come out once they're "on the shelves."

Don't git it twisted, dog. That doesn't mean I wouldn't still be pleased by both the exposure and the whole getting paid for my efforts thing, but a poorly rendered product usually means very few people are going to ever read it. I was very pleased with both books, one of them in particular that exceeded my expectations!

Take a look at the covers below:

This one is one big fat-ass volume of high-quality horror tales. There's no theme except creepy and disturbing. My short story "Outside the Box" is featured inside.

And this one is a themed anthology about monsters hunters. Of the two, this one impressed me a little more, not only because it's an over-sized paperback with beautifully rendered font (although that would be enough) but also because the various tales are broken up into sections based on type of monster being hunted!

Of my short story in this one, Horror Talk reviewer Steve "Alien Redrum" Pattee wrote, "Finally, The Source barely edges out the tales as my favorite in The Monster Hunters section, if only for its fantastic 'oh shit, did you just go there?!' ending."

Quote of the Day

2011-11-17T06:50:00.000-08:00

"Thou shalt be forthright unto morons."

-Montilee Stormer, author of a short story about man-eating ta-tas.

Quote of the Day

2011-11-16T10:03:00.001-08:00

"Am I allowed to quit humanity?"

-Anon.

GOAL! GOAL! GOAL!

2011-11-15T06:34:00.001-08:00

While everything else is crashing down around me as if I'm experiencing a personal Apocalypse, the one thing that has gone extraordinarily well for me in 2011 has been my high short story submission acceptance rate. At some point, probably once I'd crossed the magic dozen, I decided to set a goal for myself of twenty accepted stories by year's end.

As of this morning, I met that goal.

I wasn't sure I would, obviously, and would not have complained had I "only" had eighteen or nineteen accepted. Hell,, twelve was wonderful enough! This past Saturday, I received a rejection for a time travel/serial killer story I wrote called "The Killer Repeats." I happen to consider this story one of the best I've written in a while, and those are always the toughest ones to read were rejected.

However, the following day, I received a response to my submission to the Static Movement Press anthology Make a Wish. The story, entitled "Maynard," revolves around a nerdy gentleman whose encounter with a "Granter" provides him with the ability to literally reshape the world into a dying, pain-filled mess with him as the only one immune to the suffering. The editor wrote this:

Chris

Well written and perfect for the anthology! Please complete and return the attached contract.

That brought me to nineteen. With three or four other submissions floating around, this whole twenty acceptances thing suddenly looked possible. Then I remembered an email I'd received from Open Casket Press, the publisher that recently accepted by short story "Midnight Service" for their Dead X-Mas anthology. They were looking to fill an anthology of general horror stories, as opposed to those written under the more restrictive requirements of a theme.

I queried (One always should, even when they've established a relationship with the editor/publisher) to see if he would be interested in a couple really short works I had. I was encouraged to send them along, and the following day, this morning, I received this message:

I will use them. Short and sweet by enjoyable.

And just like that, with about six weeks to spare, I'd reached my goal.

Now what the hell am I supposed to do?

An Excerpt.

2011-11-10T07:48:00.000-08:00

Just for poops and chuckles, here's a brief excerpt from a short story about a hateful man named Maynard who got the chance to wish the world into whatever he wanted:

“Don’t you believe in God?” the man said.

“Yep,” Maynard replied. “You’re looking at him.”

The man’s face went pale, his formerly fiery eyes now hollow and blank. Maynard could almost read his thoughts using his stupid face. What if that was true? He’d never thought of it that way. Bible God was nothing like this skinny, geeky guy with the power of life and death over everyone in the world. Maybe God was a pathetic, angry person with nothing but malice towards all. Maybe everything until now had been a lie.

Predictably, the man started weeping. Maynard stood and watched him, feeling nothing. His elated response to breaking down alpha males and stuck up women hit its peak quite a while back. The man fell to his knees, sobbing, shoulders rising and falling, babbling incoherently. God, he was annoying!

Maynard shook his head and looked up at the sky. It was still pervasively orange, thanks to Wish number four. Was there a time limit on wishes? If so, he would wind up headless and dragged through the streets like Mussolini one day. The thought amused him as he pictured himself the eternal bogeyman of the misguided human race.

“You..can…fix this,” the man said between sobs. “You…have…powers!”

Maynard smiled. “Sorry, they’re all used up.”

COMING SOON!

2011-11-08T15:00:00.000-08:00

Quote of the Day

2011-11-07T06:50:00.000-08:00

"Not gonna miss Andy Rooney on 60 Minutes. His famous “Did ya ever notice” shoulda been followed by “I haven’t been relevant since the 70s?”

-----Lisa Lampanelli

Some Pics from the GLAHW Monster Mash for Literacy Bash

2011-11-05T07:12:00.000-07:00

It was the first Halloween party I've ever attended and I had a ball. Below are some of the highlighted costumes, including mine. It was one hell of a turnout!

An early crowd scene with Facebook Guy & Zombie Jesus at the center.

Zombie Jesus steady pimpin'!

Great Lakes Association of Horror Writers mucky-muck Michael Cieslak (Right) as a statue or God or something posing with a fairy. (Looks like he's in pain)

Peggy Christie, another GLAHW mucky-muck, as a nurse from "Silent Hill," who also won Scariest Costume.

The fairy again, this time with someone who also looks cool.

Lorie Wallace with her throat gouged out and blood running into her ample bosoms. Wasn't it nice of her to still make it to the party after being attacked? Even without a costume, she was radiant!

Ghostlight Magazine editor Montilee Stormer (also a GLAHW upper echelon) pictured her standing betwixt Zombie Dad with Baby and good ol' Zombie Hay-Soos. She won sexiest costume...I was robbed!

And finally, here's me as...

An illiterate sign-totin' teabagger! Note the poorly worded sign, America-centric shirt, dopey look, and ummm, grey eye make-up...Also take special note of the teabag earrings, which were difficult to keep on all night!

How did I not win scariest costume!?

Publishing Update.

2011-11-03T11:28:00.000-07:00

While I'm waiting for one final pic of the Great Lakes Association of Horror Writers Halloween Bash in order to post about it, I thought I'd provide the latest info regarding recently published works by yours truly.

Last week was a good one for me as far as published stories goes. I had three things become available by week's end.

First came "Midnight Service," which is available in the Open Casket Press anthology, Dead Christmas. It's the tale of a hapless pizza delivery guy who is captured and forced to watch as an insane minister's equally insane plan to resurrect his savior using black magic unfolds on Christmas Eve.

Next came "Flame1o1," which can be accessed and read for free at The Horror Zine. It's the tale of an internet message board debate that turns into something otherworldly and deadly. Feedback on this one is that it's even creepier than I'd hoped.

Finally, "Across the Pond," a story I wrote quite some time ago, arrived contained within the GLAHW anthology Erie Tales: Tales of the Apocalypse. This is my heavy-handed social commentary piece about a young boy whose callous decision creates a ripple effect of disaster for civilization.

Last week stated out so slowly and a few recent rejections had put me into a bit of a fog, so it was nice to get the triple whammy.

Halloween Round-up!

2011-10-31T06:41:00.000-07:00

Yee-hawww! Since it's Halloween, the holiday so many are a'tryin' to so hard to replace Christmas with, I thought I'd invite you to mosey on over to a few places and check out some scaaarryyyy stories from this hombre!

If you got one them newfangled Kindles, check out my non-gory tale set in the Depression called "Destiny & Home-Made Apple Pie."

And if you're one of them fancy book-learnin' types, you probably hate "Twlight," so you might enjoy this here pair-O-dee called "Dusk." (This one ain't gory neither! It's meant to be funny.)

If you're a cheapskate, you'll be glad to know they's a couple free stories available at the Horror Zine! First up is "Always Say Treat," which just got see-lected as one of the best of the year and the newly published "Flame101," which oughtta scare the britches off anybody what's ever got into a internet dee-bate!

Now, if you're real ambitious-like and don't mind readin' a buncha other folks' stuff, here's a list of scary tales that're sure to make you wet your saddle!

Read "Toilet Bums" here.
Read "Soul-Mate Express" here.
Read "Midnight Service" here.

They's plenty more but this cow-poke's tired of typin'!

Happy Halloween!

Publishing Update.

2011-10-28T06:24:00.000-07:00

My short story "Midnight Service" about an insane, misguided minister of a small church trying to use black magic to resurrect his savior is in this anthology:

CHECK IT OUT!

Quote of the Day

2011-10-26T09:19:00.000-07:00

" I lean so far to the left in my writing I'd fall off your knee."

-Sean Sweeney, a.ka. John Fitch V

Won't Someone Please Think of the Children???

2011-10-25T06:41:00.001-07:00

I'm going to be reading my disturbingly popular Halloween-themed short story "Always Say Treat" to kids at the event pictured below:

Apparently, organizer Karena Wilkes thought it was a good idea to have me in a room full of impressionable young'ns!

I'll also be signing copies of "Dreamers at Infinity's Core" if anybody's interested.

An Interview with Ned & Ernie.

2011-10-20T13:07:00.000-07:00

The following is a brief interview conducted with Ned & Ernie, the two main protagonists of Christopher Nadeau’s Infinity’s Core Saga. In this case, the guys discuss their feelings on “Dreamers at Infinity’s Core” and its upcoming sequel, as well as filling us in on what took place in the six months between:

INTERVIEWER: You guys certainly went through a lot when you faced off against the entities trying to escape Infinity’s Core. What can you tell us about that experience?

NED: It sucked.

ERNIE: Sucked ass!

INTERVIEW: Care to elaborate?

NED: I wouldn’t know where to start.

INTERVIEW: How about with the Cast?

NED: That’s a loaded question. We don’t really know much about the Cast, except they really seem to desire life.

ERNIE: And they don’t give a fuck who they have to kill to achieve it.

NED: There’s also that old chestnut.

INTERVIEWER: But what are they?

NED: (Sighs) Far as I can tell, they’re disembodied entities that exist in a place that isn’t really a place, sort of between realities, that seem to have hit upon the notion that latching onto the collective unconscious and using peoples’ imaginations as bridges will enable them to achieve physical life.

INTERVIEWER: Ernie, do you agree with that assessment?

ERNIE: Gimme a couple hours to consult a dictionary and I’ll tell you.

INTERVIEWER: Let’s switch gears a little and discuss the novelization of your adventure. How did you guys feel about the Nadeau novel.

NED: No comment.

ERNIE: It wasn’t bad. I guess. It sort’ve made me look like a foul-mouthed person though, and I don’t know where the fuck he got that from.

INTERVIEWER: Ned, was there anything about the novel you found unfair or inaccurate?

NED: Authors write things they way they see them. My version would have been different.

INTERVIEWER: Aside from the foul-mouthed aspect, Ernie, did you find the portrayal of events accurate in the novel?

ERNIE: Nobody could ever capture…Look, it’s like this. Once you’ve had those things inside your head, you’re never the same. You don’t see the world the same way. You don’t sleep like you used to sleep. Sometimes, you wake up and there are things in your room you don’t want to believe are real. Is the novel accurate? Fuck, man. I don’t even know what’s real anymore.

INTERVIEWER: So, obviously your experiences with the Core have left you significantly changed.

NED: That’s certainly not an understatement.

INTERVIEWER: What about the aftermath? What’s gone on since the big showdown in front of that small suburban home?

ERNIE: Life goes on.

NED: My novel is out now and the Religious Right is already having a field day. Aside from that and no longer working for Complete Maintenance, not much is going on with me.

ERNIE: Right, because everybody is living their dream. No news there!

NED: It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

ERNIE: Beats trying to find yourself in your thirties.

(The room grows silent, neither man willing to look at the other)

INTERVIEWER: What about your new acquaintance? Chad, right? Is he now an official member of the Core Veterans Society?

NED: He’s an official member of the Pain in the Ass Club. Does that count?

ERNIE: Ned doesn’t care much for Chad.

INTERVIEWER: Apparently not! What’s the main objection?

NED: (Shrugs) He pointed a gun at me.

INTERVIEW: But according to the novel, that was all a misunderstanding. He thought you guys were responsible for the Core opening up.

ERNIE: We were.

NED: Not entirely.

ERNIE: Still.

INTERVIEW: Ernie, you and Chad have since become friends, isn’t that right?

ERNIE: He’s not such a bad guy, once you get past the bitch-boy Goth thing.

NED: And the whiny voice.

ERNIE: And the stupid hair.

NED: And the constant pop culture references nobody cares about.

ERNIE: And the fact that he still won’t admit he’s a virgin.

INTERVIEW: Still, he proved to be rather….

NED: (Holds up a finger) And the fact that he thinks he’s smarter than everyone despite dressing like an undertaker from the Soho District.

INTERVIEW: Wow. He did turn out to be a great help though.

NED: He almost got us killed. He was the conduit through which the Cast planned to achieve life. Yeah, real big help there.

ERNIE: He didn’t know that. He thought…I don’t know what he thought. Dude’s a low-grade psychic.

NED: (Chuckles) Is that, like, the equivalent of middle management?

ERNIE: Yeah at a company with no dress code.

INTERVIEW: What about Madame Esmerelda?

NED: What about her?

INTERVIEW: Well, did she really look like Salma Hyaeck?

ERNIE: All I’ll say is, if there’s ever a movie, Salma is the only one I could see in the role.

INTERVIEW:Any idea what ever became of her?

NED: Nope. Don’t care either.

ERNIE: She disappeared after everything was over.

INTERVIEW: Is it true that you were in love with her?

ERNIE: ...some women present themselves as something other than what they are.

NED: Sometimes I wonder how much of that was her and how much was…anyway. With any luck, we’ll never see her again.

(Another long moment of silence)

INTERVIEWER: Are both of you aware that there is a second novel entitled “Echoes of Infinity’s Core” set to come out soon?

BOTH: Yeah.

INTERVIEWER: Do you know anything about it?

NED: Nobody consults us.

ERNIE: I plan to be as surprised as you are when I read it.

INTERVIEWER: I’d like to thank both of you for your time today. One final question: What, if anything, did you take away from your experience with the Core?

ERNIE: There’s a lot of shit we don’t understand, and he the shit we do understand isn’t always what we think it is. Once your eyes have been opened, you can’t close them anymore.

INTERVIEWER: What about you, Ned?

NED: The only justice, the only fairness, is what we create. The universe is a cold-hearted hellhole that will leave you empty unless you kick it in the ass and carve out your own corner of meaningfulness.

INTERVIEWER: What do you mean by that, exactly?

NED: I mean there comes a time when a person refuses to accept what others refer to as fate and take whatever action he deems necessary.

INTERVIEWER: Are you referring to what the novel depicted as the abrupt disappearance of the woman you loved?

NED: It’s late. Thanks for the interview.

Everybody...AWWWWWWW

2011-10-20T08:00:00.001-07:00

Yes, that's my "dog" for want of a better term Gizmo, who somehow found a way to make his stuffed animal "Buddy" spoon him. Not sure if this is adorable or the first phase of a human race-ending upgrade in canine intelligence.

Tom Tomorrow Nails it Again!

2011-10-17T07:37:00.001-07:00

2011-10-12T07:52:00.000-07:00

From My Publisher on LinkedIn.

2011-10-12T01:31:00.000-07:00

“Christopher is one of those very talented individuals who are able to present creative ideas and deliver them on deadline. His experiences in many areas of the industry make him invaluable for any project. I hired Christopher for web articles and celebrity interviews. Not only did we receive them before the deadline, but received great comments from the celebrities who worked with Chris. The work was well rounded, meeting our core audience's needs and beyond. Chris has also edited and helped new writers in our company. I look forward to each time Chris is on a project.” October 12, 2011

Top qualities: Great Results, Personable, Creative

1^st Christine Mizikow,
hired Christopher as a Writer/Editor in 2008, and hired Christopher more than once

2011-10-10T16:55:00.000-07:00

Quote of the Day

2011-10-07T07:24:00.000-07:00

"People may wonder where horror writers come up with their ideas. I don't think you have to look much beyond the daily news."

- Karen Bence Yoder

Best of...

2011-10-06T06:28:00.000-07:00

My short story, "Always Say Treat," which was published in the Horror Zine, has been selected as one of the "Best of The Horror Zine" stories to be included in the book that will come out in 2012. I am honored my little story has achieved such acclaim and mileage.

Of the selection, editor/publisher Jeani Rector said, "Congratulations, yours is truly a very good story."

I will, of course, update once the book is available~

Ain't She Sweet?

2011-10-05T07:00:00.001-07:00

Via Facebook:

Christopher Nadeau
If The Horror Zine editor Jeani Rector doesn't stop paying me so many hard-earned & richly deserved compliments, my ego might know no bounds! (Not that I'd expect you peons to comprehend)

· · · September 21 at 3:33pm

- Christopher Nadeau I can't even post what she wrote 'cause it's "confidential." SHH!!!
  September 21 at 3:34pm ·
- Jeani Rector Then let me say that Christopher Nadeau is one of my best fiction contributors! He writes awsome stuff! See for yourself here
  4 minutes ago · · 1 personLoading...
- Christopher Nadeau ‎*slides ten bucks through the monitor into Jeani Rector's sweaty hand*
  3 minutes ago ·

Quotes of the Day

2011-10-04T06:33:00.000-07:00

If those losers want a Confederate license plate, let them have it. It's their money. I never, not once, saw a license plate hurt anybody. If they want to display a loser's flag, let 'em: they have a first amendment right to do so. However, a Confederate flag should not be displayed prominently at any government site: it's a treasonous flag for losers. But, since the American Civil War was a historically significant event, the idea of trying to completely whitewash any & all symbols of the Confederacy is ludicrous. The war happened, slavery was real. Let people be reminded of the losers & their treasonous symbols.

-A Yahoo poster

If I see a confederate flag bumper sticker on a car I think drunk driver with no insurance...
If I see a confederate flag on a house.... Well I haven't - for one I don't live in a trailer park.

-A Really Funny Yahoo Poster

Possible the Greatest Political Pic in Decades!

2011-10-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

Even a Negative Review is Better than Nothing.

2011-09-30T03:04:00.000-07:00

I knew when I wrote it that my short story "The Party" wasn't for all tastes. Here is the section of the review on Tangent reviewing my story. Perhaps another case of genre types disliking anything that isn't concrete, but it's obvious the reviewer hated it:

"The Party" is another "Am I dead or not?" story, though it's pretty clear that Curt is (This type of story only has two possible answers, and to actually have a story, then the answer has to be "yes"). He's at an endless party, going around, meeting and interacting with strangers. The "cocktail party hell" trope was probably tired by the 1950s, and Christopher Nadeau does not make you long for its return. It's also voluminously unclear.

Click here for the entire review

I can console myself with the knowledge that it was one of the anthology editor's favorite stories. So be it, on to the next one~

A Sneak Preview of "Echoes of Infinity's Core"

2011-09-29T07:45:00.000-07:00

The following is the foreword that opens the second book in the trilogy. Just know it is subject to change following final edits:

This is not where we left off last time.

We are not starting at the very next moment.

Time has passed. Things have changed. People have changed as well. Such is the nature of sequels, at least the ones that are done well. A rapidly vanishing life-form, the quality sequel is a continuation of what has gone before. This is in contradiction to Hollywood’s approach, which takes one, some or all of the important characters from Part One and places them in different yet comfortably familiar environs.

Conventional wisdom in America is that familiarity sells.

People don’t like it when beloved characters die or are replaced by new characters or actors. It pisses people off. Perhaps it should. There is, after all, an emotional investment, testament to the talents of those involved in the finished product.

The rule of continuing story arc applies in particular to science fiction and fantasy, hence the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings films which carry the same story through three films at a time. In fiction, where the audience is generally more intelligent and open-minded, there is often more breathing room for the author. Each book can occur generations apart.

That isn’t the case here.

Consider this more like an action film series where everything has not been neatly resolved. Remember what went before and the questions that were left unanswered. Don’t forget which characters were affected and how. Ask yourself what story is left to be told.

In other words, only a mental midget would read this book first.

This is a continuation of something that began in the mind of an author and eventually spilled over into a universe facing Armageddon. Jerry Bruckheimer was nowhere to found, but there were still explosions and witty rejoinders aplenty. However, there was no neat ‘n tidy resolution that left the audience smiling and chatting happily all the way to a theme restaurant with yummy potato skins.

There was a victory, but it did not come without its costs. Loves were lost, friendships were strained. Successes that came were hollow and far too late. We were left feeling that something was still on the horizon for these characters.

So, those who know what has gone before should prepare themselves for all the new developments. And, in the words of the Great and All-powerful Yogurt, “God willing we’ll all meet in the sequel. Spaceballs II: The Search for More Money.”

Enjoy the show!

Quote of the Day

2011-09-28T13:12:00.000-07:00

"We really don't need a businessman in office. The first rule of running a business is to maximize profits. That means, at no point do you sacrifice earnings to help the people that work for you. You sacrifice those people to increase earnings. Having someone like this in office would leave a lot of people further left in the dust."

-A Facebook Poster

And the #1 Reason John Steinbeck is my Literary Hero...

2011-09-27T13:16:00.000-07:00

Two-Way Street?

2011-09-26T07:10:00.000-07:00

Editors are always going on and on about professionalism and how the slightest misstep during the submission process can result in an unread, discarded manuscript. Some are so particular that the style employed in a cover letter can be the death knell for hopeful authors looking to wow an editor with their stunning prose. In other words, the editor might not even read your work based solely on the way you introduced yourself.

One of the major pet peeves of editors, and understandably so, involves writers with poor attention to detail. For instance, mentioning that it's midnight in one sentence and then describing the hot sun beating down on the pavement in the next. That pet peeve extends into the writer's correspondence, i.e. making sure the correct names are used when establishing contact.

Shouldn't that extend both ways? In fact, shouldn't it be more important for an editor to ensure accuracy before sending a rejection letter?

I only bring this up because, much like for the editor who disregards the story of a writer whose attention to detail is lacking, it's difficult to take seriously the critique and rejection from an editor who misses simple, vital detail.

Case in point: The email correspondence below:

EDITOR: Mr. Murphy,

I have decided to pass on this story. It's hard to find any empathy for the main character on his killing spree, and it's probably something that would fare better in the third person. It goes for the jugular just a bit much and too fast, and I think the pacing of it needs work. Feel free to try another submission, but this one just didn't grab me.

Sincerely,
Editor

ME: It is actually "Mr. Nadeau." Murphy is the last name of the protagonist in my story. I appreciate the feedback.

CN

EDITOR: Chris,

So sorry, was looking up at the Document name,.....that's a first! Sorry if that seemed rude!
Editor

ME: Not at all. Just wanted to clarify in case the next story knocks your editorial socks off :)

But it turned out well, because when it comes down to it, professionalism is the key.

A "Poem" I rattled off in about one minute.

2011-09-23T10:42:00.000-07:00

O winged bird that floats on air
How the hell'd you get up dere?
Did God Himself make them wings
'Cause God can do most anything.

Did God also make your beak,
If so, you like just like a freak.
And lo bird look at dem feet,
They're all just bone with no real meat.

And why do you eat slimy worms,
Can't you see how they slither & Squirm?
Who the hell could eat dem things,
Except an idiot with God-made wings?

ACCEPTED WITHIN FOUR HOURS

2011-09-21T09:13:00.000-07:00

You know how I'm always saying not to write stories to suit specific anthology themes because it will be difficult to get them published elsewhere? Forget it! At least, until something else gets rejected and I get all pissed off and disgusted again.

For now, I am elated. When I saw the following X-Mas themed zombie anthology accepting submissions,

I knew I had to drop everything else and try my hand at it. Which is odd because I don't really "do" zombie fiction, discounting my story "The Cubicle Dwellers," appearing in the current issue of Ghostlight.

I will take any opportunity to fly in the face of the accepted conceit of zombies originating form viral outbreaks, and so I scribed me up a voodoo-influenced tale of religious fanaticism that made me giggle school-girl-like. I wasn't sure it was what the kindly editor who had encouraged me to go ahead and send it was looking for BUT:

Four hours later, he wrote,

hey

i can use it.

Four hours, people. That's practically unheard of. So, for now, ignore what I said before y'know, until I say it again and really mean it~

Oops!

2011-09-14T06:13:00.000-07:00

Not sure how I did it, but I wound up sending a story that had just been rejected the previous day back to the same magazine! I tried to email the editor and let him know, but apparently the emails and the submissions don't communicate very well with each other.

So, it got rejected again, only this time instead of the standard "I'm going to pass on this one" response, I got a more personal rejection. See below:

Dear Christopher,

Thanks for submitting this story, but I'm going to pass on it. It's nicely written and I enjoyed reading it, but overall it didn't quite win me over, I'm afraid. Best of luck to you placing this one elsewhere, and thanks again for sending it my way. I look forward to seeing your next submission.

Sincerely,
(Editor)

I have no analysis or anything, but it really makes me wonder what takes place on the "other side" sometimes.

Overlooked.

2011-09-13T06:44:00.000-07:00

Somehow, some way, I overlooked one of the upcoming anthologies with my stories in them.

It is currently in the process of being edited and should be out soon. My short story "Emergence" appears in this one, a rather unique take on the whole monster hunter thing. I'm especially proud of its acceptance because, technically, I went against the guidelines in regards to the types of "monsters" they're interested in seeing.

Not something I recommend doing for new writers, but if you are capable of providing a riveting story that still respects the editor's wishes, you might be surprised at what happens.

I'll post the link once this one is available to purchase.

The Complete List of Songs that were Banned from Radio Play on 9/11/11.

2011-09-12T06:27:00.000-07:00

I will offer no commentary on this, except to say how ridiculous this entire concept is to me. Below is the entire unedited list of banned songs with the stupider among then highlighted in red:

3 DOORS DOWN – Duck and Run
311 – Down
AC/DC – Dirty Deeds
AC/DC – Hell’s Bells
AC/DC – Highway to Hell
AC/DC – Safe in New York City
AC/DC – Shoot to Thrill
AC/DC – Shot Down in Flames
AC/DC – TNT
AD LIBS – The Boy from New York City
ALICE IN CHAINS – Down in a Hole
ALICE IN CHAINS – Rooster
ALICE IN CHAINS – Sea of Sorrow
ALICE IN CHAINS – Them Bone
ALIEN ANT FARM – Smooth Criminal
ANIMALS – We Gotta Get Out of this Place
LOUIS ARMSTRONG – What a Wonderful World
BANGLES – Walk Like an Egyptian
BARENAKED LADIES – Falling for the First Time
FONTELLA BASS – Rescue Me
BEASTIE BOYS – Sabotage
BEASTIE BOYS – Sure Shot
BEATLES – A Day in the Life
BEATLES – Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
BEATLES – Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
BEATLES – Ticket to Ride
PAT BENATAR – Love Is a Battlefield
PAT BENATAR – Hit Me with Your Best Shot
BLACK SABBATH – Sabbath Bloody Sabbath
BLACK SUICIDE – Suicide Solution
BLACK SABBATH – War Pigs
BLOOD SWEAT & TEARS – And When I Die
BLUE OYSTER CULT – Burnin’ for You
BOSTON – Smokin’
BROOKLYN BRIDGE – Worst that Could Happen
ARTHUR BROWN – Fire
JACKSON BROWNE – Doctor My Eyes
BUSH – Speed Kills
CHI-LITES – Have You Seen Her
DAVE CLARK FIVE – Bits and Pieces
PETULA CLARK – A Sign of the Times
THE CLASH – Rock the Casbah
PHIL COLLINS – In the Air Tonight
SAM COOKE – Wonderful World
CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL – Travelin’ Band
CULT – Fire Woman
BOBBY DARIN – Mack the Knife
SKEETER DAVIS – End of the World
NEIL DIAMOND – America
DIO – Holy Diver
DOORS – The End
DRIFTERS – On Broadway
DROWNING POOL – Bodies
BOB DYLAN – Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door
EVERCLEAR – Santa Monica
SHELLY FABARES – Johnny Angel
FILTER – Hey Man, Nice Shot
FOO FIGHTERS – Learn to Fly
FUEL – Bad Day
PETER GABRIEL – When You’re Falling
GAP BAND – You Dropped a Bomb on Me
GODSMACK – Bad Religion
GREEN DAY – Brain Stew
NORMAN GREENBAUM – Spirit in the Sky
GUNS N’ ROSES – Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door
HAPPENINGS – See You in September
JIMI HENDRIX – Hey Joe
HERMAN’S HERMITS – Wonderful World
HOLLIES – He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother
BUDDY HOLLY & THE CRICKETS – That’ll Be the Day
JAN & DEAN – Dead Man’s Curve
BILLY JOEL – Only the Good Die Young
ELTON JOHN – Benny & The Jets
ELTON JOHN – Daniel
ELTON JOHN – Rocket Man
JUDAS PRIEST – Some Heads Are Gonna Roll
KANSAS – Dust in the Wind
CAROLE KING – I Feel the Earth Move
KORN – Falling Away From Me
LENNY KRAVITZ – Fly Away
LED ZEPPELIN – Stairway to Heaven
JOHN LENNON – Imagine
JERRY LEE LEWIS – Great Balls of Fire
LIMP BIZKIT – Break Stuff
LOCAL H – Bound for the Floor
LOS BRAVOS – Black Is Black
LYNYRD SKYNYRD – Tuesday’s Gone
MARTHA AND THE VANDELLAS – Nowhere to Run
MARTHA AND THE VANDELLAS – Dancing in the Street
DAVE MATHEWS BAND – Crash into Me
PAUL MCCARTNEY & WINGS – Live and Let Die
BARRY MCGUIRE – Eve of Destruction
DON MCLEAN – American Pie
MEGADETH – Dread and the Fugitive
MEGADETH – Sweating Bullets
JOHN MELLENCAMP – Crumbling Down
JOHN MELLENCAMP – I’m on Fire
METALLICA – Seek and Destroy
METALLICA – Harvester or Sorrow
METALLICA – Enter Sandman
METALLICA – Fade to Black
STEVE MILLER – Jet Airliner
ALANIS MORISSETTE – Ironic
MUDVAYNE – Death Blooms
RICK NELSON – Travelin’ Man
NENA – 99 Luft Balloons/99 Red Balloons
NINE INCH NAILS – Head Like a Hole
OINGO BOINGO – Dead Man’s Party
PAPER LACE – The Night Chicago Died
JOHN PARR – St Elmo’s Fire
PETER GORDON – I Go To Pieces
PETER GORDON – A World Without Love
PETER PAUL & MARY – Blowin’ in the Wind
PETER PAUL & MARY – Leavin’ on a Jet Plane
TOM PETTY – Free Fallin’
PINK FLOYD – Run Like Hell
PINK FLOYD – Mother
POD – Boom
ELVIS PRESLEY – (You’re the) Devil in Disguise
PRETENDERS – My City Was Gone
QUEEN – Another One Bites the Dust
QUEEN – Killer Queen
RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE – [all songs]
RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS – Aeroplane
RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS – Under the Bridge
REM – It’s the End of the World as We Know It
ROLLING STONES – Ruby Tuesday
MITCH RYDER & THE DETROIT WHEELS – Devil with the Blue Dress
SALIVA – Click Click Boom
SANTANA – Evil Ways ‘
SAVAGE GARDEN – Crash and Burn
SIMON & GARFUNKLE – Bridge Over Troubled Water
FRANK SINATRA – New York, New York
SLIPKNOT – Left Behind
SLIPKNOT – Wait and
SMASHING PUMPKINS – Bullet with Butterfly Wings
SOUNDGARDEN – Blow Up the Outside World
SOUNDGARDEN – Fell on Black Days
SOUNDGARDEN – Black Hole Sun
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN – I’m on Fire
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN – Goin’ Down
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN – War
EDWIN STARR – War
STEAM – Na Na Na Na Hey Hey
CAT STEVENS – Peace Train
CAT STEVENS – Morning Has Broken
STONE TEMPLE PILOTS – Big Bang Baby
STONE TEMPLE PILOTS – Dead and Bloated
SUGAR RAY – Fly
SURFARIS – Wipeout
SYSTEM OF A DOWN – Chop Suey!
TALKING HEADS – Burning Down the House
JAMES TAYLOR – Fire and Rain
TEMPLE OF THE DOG – Say Hello to Heaven
THIRD EYE BLIND – Jumper
THREE DEGREES – When Will I See You Again
TOOL – Intolerance
TRAMPS – Disco Inferno
U2 – Sunday Bloody Sunday
VAN HALEN – Dancing in the Streets
VAN HALEN – Jump
J FRANK WILSON – Last Kiss
YOUNGBLOODS – Get Together
ZAGER & EVANS – In the Year 2525
ZOMBIES – She’s Not There

The Type of Writing I Wish Came Easier to Me.

2011-09-09T13:41:00.001-07:00

Here's an excellent example of taking an image and turning it into a rumination on the human condition.

The stillness and emptiness of a rowboat on a shore of Loch Maree. Does its stationary position represent hope of future travels, the end of travels once pursued, or does it represent reality? What's reality? Reality is void of hope. It simply is what it is. If the rowboat's stationary position...half on stable land and half on the icy darkness of a Scottish Loch represents reality, then the beauty of this photo is nothing more than delusion.

by Lorie Wallace

Publishing Update Addendum.

2011-09-08T10:53:00.000-07:00

Just when I thought I'd finally posted an up-to-date list of my most recently published and soon-to-be published work, another anthology editor sent word of one I've been waiting to hear about for a while. So...

This family-friendly cover is for an anthology featuring a reprint of my story, "Rosa, Rosa Come out of Your Room"

More on this one when it is available to purchase.

Publishing Update.

2011-09-07T05:56:00.000-07:00

Although my submitting frenzy has died down a bit these past few months, I still have stories appearing in different anthologies and magazines. Below are the most recent addition to my list of publishing credits in case you're stalking me and are good at taking direction:

"Soul-Mate Express" appears in this one.

"The Cubicle Dwellers" appears here.

"You With Me" was accepted for this one. I'll provide a release date when it becomes available.

And this juicy 354-page mammoth volume features my short story "Outside the Box." It will be available in hardcover and trade paperback. I'll update when it's available.

That's the most recent stuff. I will post a more comprehensive list including previous stories sometime later this week~

Quote of the Day

2011-09-06T10:28:00.000-07:00

Goes to "All My Children" soap icon Susan Lucci, who described the ABC executive she believes is most responsible for the show's cancellation as possessing “a fatal combination of ignorance and arrogance.”

Surrender to Infinity

Quote O' the Day

Upcoming Reading Event Removes Bad Taste from my Mouth

Upcoming Publication.

Zippered Flesh Anthology Now Available!!!

Upcoming Reading Event.

Creepy Hospital-related Tales.

Upcoming Publication.

Quote O' the Day

An Excerpt from my bug-related horror tale (WIP)

Quote o' the Day

STEREOTYPES AS METHODS OF WORKPLACE TRAINING?

A LETTER TO FACEBOOK

THE CULT OF THE GUITAR GUY:

Quote o' the Day

"If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking." ~Haruki Murakami

Quote o' the Day

Couldn't Say it Better!

Quote of 2011

Vote!

Reactions to "The most Uncomfortable Thing I've Written in some time."

The Most Uncomfortable Thing I've Written in Some Time.

(Right Wing) Christians For A (Stupider)America

I think I might have found the stupidest blog I've seen in years. It's called "Christians For A Moral America" and it regularly posts idiotic gems like this, where they actually view the phrase "Fuck hate" as ironic for all the wrong reasons.

The Best Compliment a Reader can Pay a Writer of Fiction...

Quote o' the Day

So much for name recognition!

From me and the little green Jedi Master...

Take me Home for the Holidays

The Multiple Submissions Dilemma.

"I'll Occupy" Recruitment Song: The 99 is Pissed and We Will Not Be Dism...

Publishing Update Addendum.

Publishing Update.

Quote of the Day

"When some one tells you that you can't have Christmas without Christ, remind them you can't have Thursday without Thor."

That Whole Saying "Merry Christmas" Thing.

GIVING THANKS FOR...WHAT, EXACTLY?

Another Episode of "Facebook Drama!"

Quote of the Day

The Most Twisted Anthology Cover yet!

Quote of the Day

A Quick Look at Two Anthologies Featuring some guy named Me.

Quote of the Day

Quote of the Day

GOAL! GOAL! GOAL!

An Excerpt.

COMING SOON!

Quote of the Day

Some Pics from the GLAHW Monster Mash for Literacy Bash

Publishing Update.

Halloween Round-up!

Publishing Update.

Quote of the Day

Won't Someone Please Think of the Children???

An Interview with Ned & Ernie.

Everybody...AWWWWWWW

Tom Tomorrow Nails it Again!

From My Publisher on LinkedIn.

Quote of the Day

"People may wonder where horror writers come up with their ideas. I don't think you have to look much beyond the daily news."

Best of...

Ain't She Sweet?

Via Facebook:Christopher Nadeau If The Horror Zine editor Jeani Rector doesn't stop paying me so many hard-earned & richly deserved compliments, my ego might know no bounds! (Not that I'd expect you peons to comprehend)

Quotes of the Day

Possible the Greatest Political Pic in Decades!

Even a Negative Review is Better than Nothing.

A Sneak Preview of "Echoes of Infinity's Core"

Quote of the Day

And the #1 Reason John Steinbeck is my Literary Hero...

Two-Way Street?

A "Poem" I rattled off in about one minute.

***ACCEPTED WITHIN FOUR HOURS***

Oops!

Overlooked.

The Complete List of Songs that were Banned from Radio Play on 9/11/11.

The Type of Writing I Wish Came Easier to Me.

Publishing Update Addendum.

Publishing Update.

Quote of the Day

Via Facebook:

Christopher Nadeau
If The Horror Zine editor Jeani Rector doesn't stop paying me so many hard-earned & richly deserved compliments, my ego might know no bounds! (Not that I'd expect you peons to comprehend)

ACCEPTED WITHIN FOUR HOURS